JOHN PRESCOTT to ANDREW MARR
Re Gordon Brown's lack of a smile.
"But I tell you what, when you get on an aeroplane, you go and look in the cockpit, see if the pilot's smiling? Or you just hope there's a pilot there going to guide the plane, fly the plane and land successfully."
GB Air.."Hullo erm hullo.. this is Lima Alpha Bravo Oscar Romeo flight One nine nine seven. Hullo we are in very serious trouble.
JackStraw Tower "Roger Lima Alpha, state your difficulties"
GB Air..." Urm.. We are losing power.. repeat losing control. The usual control methods are not working. There has been a bit of panic on board. We also seem to have lost some of the core... hullo..Erm ... we are losing Power. Repeat losing Power and we are unlikely to be able to continue much longer. The Starboard engine has fallen completely away. The Port can't generate enough support on its own.. Please advise ..."
JackStraw Tower "Understand.. stand by for instructions.. hello Lima Alpha, we have a plan for this sort emergancy. Repeat after me..
"OUR FATHER, WHO ART IN HEAVEN, HALLOWED BE THY..."
Very good :)
ReplyDeleteJackStraw Tower "Roger Lima Alpha, state your difficulties"
ReplyDeleteGBAir "Our plane is being piloted by Gordon Brown"
JackStrawTower "Right, in that case you are f***ed. Over and out"
Excellent!
ReplyDeleteAnd you even got your engines right; as a sprog knee high to a grasshopper I was taught "Port is Red is Left" - learning quite usefully not only the arrangement of navigation lights on marine vessels but the direction in which to pass a decanter of fortified wine. But if an engine has to fail of course it will be the Port engine ....
Further to Raedwald's contribution, did you know that the word "posh" is also associated? It derived from the days of the old colonialists travelling to/from India and was shorthand for Port Out, Starboard Home - describing which side of the ship to book a cabin for the most comfortable journey sunshine-wise.
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