Thursday 25 September 2008

One of those wretched 419 scams ...

Dear UK taxpayer

I am writing to you because your name has been given to me as someone of impeccable gullibility, and this is a matter of great delicacy.

I am First Lord of the Treasury of Britain in north Europe, a small country with a badly regulated banking system. I am known by all my friends as a man of the utmost probity. Owing to a most unexpected run on several of our banks there is a need to fill a large hole that has suddenly appeared in our budget. To do this we plan to use a tried and trusted method called ‘inflation’ to transfer a huge sum of money from middle class savers and pension holders. If you would assist me in this transfer it will be of great profit to you personally and I will arrange that you are given a warm glow of Satisfaction. This transaction is 100% guaranteed safe.

This is a matter of urgency and unfortunately on this occasion we cannot use the normal PFI channels owing to increased scrutiny. I have obtained your name and address from a laptop computer I found on a train at Waterloo station and am now writing to ask for your kind help. Be assured no disclosure of this transfer will ever be admitted in public.

Please send me immediately all details of your bank account numbers, ISAs, SIPS, insurance policies etc, and also the whereabouts of your children’s piggy-banks. Immediately I receive this information I will arrange for the ‘inflation’ to be started and also give you your Satisfaction.

Yours truly,

Gordon

4 comments:

  1. If that were a real Nigerian scam email it would be full of spelling mistakes, so I doubt anybody will fall for it.

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  2. What really stinks is that its only people in the private sector who are suffering.

    I'm waiting for the Argentine like move when the government takes control of our pension funds - in return for 100% guaranteed peoples bonds, to spend the money on the people's priorities -like their salaries and gold plated pensions.

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  3. Anonymous10:50 am

    Very funny Nick!

    Man in shed: please don't give these f*ckwits any ideas! That's exactly the kind of thing they would come up with if they had the wit, with Alistair Cambell's NuMedia luvvies presenting it as "in the best interest of the public for a secure future and retirement".

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