Fitting the misquote in the title is taken from a film entitled 'Apocalypse Now' (still one of my fave all time films, showing my age I guess).
But today is the day, senior politicians from around Europe are gathering in Brussels for a massive fudge baking contest. the ingredients have been chosen and mixed by legions of expensive eurocrats and sundry non-jobbers for a few weeks now. All that is needed is to switch the oven on and see whether we get a rise or a burn.
So, to kick the day off, I thought we should come up with some sharp marketing spiel for the Politicians, whatever they do they are going to need to sell it so some viral branding is essential. My effort is:
"Eurofudge, sweet to bite with a long, bitter aftertaste"
(if have you ever eaten any of this salted chocolate stuff that is being pushed now - its the same concept)
Your efforts please...
"Reassuringly expensive"
ReplyDeleteThere should be a health warning too, "too much fudge is bad for your health".
Jokes aside, why do these politicians keep serving up the same dishes and then force-feeding them the people of Europe. There's nothing sweet about the fudge, it is costing jobs, destroying savings and damaging prosperity.
Eurofudge - Doesn't do exactly what it says on the tin.
ReplyDeletem m m m ... Eurofudge
ReplyDeleteEurofudge deluxe.
ReplyDeleteComes in a presentation Euro championship tincan that can be endlessly kicked down the road.
Eurofudge
ReplyDeleteIngredients
German sweat
Dutch vinegar
Irish austerity
Gallic shrugs
*Note: this product does not contain urine. Our Greek workers have been taking the piss for years.
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ReplyDeleteIve had another meeting and made some changes, this is the bazooka btw, the big one
ReplyDeleteA euro Fudge is just enough to give your Bankers a treat.
A euro Fudge is just enough until it's time to Flee.
It's full of Eurocrat goodness
And very large and neat
A euro Fudge is just enough to give your Bankers a treat
Eurofudge - presented beautifully, delivered safely.... because - and you know this is true - we are the Best Fudgepackers you've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteEurofudge - Made to make your eyes water.
ReplyDeleteEurofudge - More out of this world than Coke.
Eurofudge - We try harder - to take your cash.
Eurofudge - I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle - oh, and everything else you've got.
Eurofudge - yeah, you can take a photo of the fire - 5 trillion dollars!
Eurofudge - Reach out and touch someone for even more cash.
Eurofudge - Sweet as the moment when the eurozone went 'pop'.
Eurofudge - We never forget you don't have a choice.
Eurofudge - A dog is for life not just this Christmas.
EuroFudge - because bankers won't budge!
ReplyDeleteYes Mr Idle, whenever I'm feeling down I always love a good finger of Brussels fudge.
ReplyDeleteI hear Mr Berlusconi has been feeling down quite a lot recently.
Euro fudge
ReplyDelete- The sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your credit rating
- Now contains added Yauro which provides monetary relief (if symptoms persist, you should contact a doctor)
- Now in 17 new improved flavours (* just like the old ones)
Fudge, fudge, Glorious Fudge
ReplyDeleteNothing quite like it for bribing a judge
So follow me follow
Down to the hollow
and there let us wallow
in Glorious Fudge
(With apologies to F&S)
A Eurofudge a day makes you work, work and ...er...work.
ReplyDelete(That's if you're lucky enough to have a job after you've eaten it.)
:-(
EUROCRAT: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin fudge.
ReplyDeleteEU: Nah.
EUROCRAT: Oh, sir, it's only a tiny, little, thin one.
EU: No. Fuck off. I'm full.
EUROCRAT: Oh, sir. Hmm?
EU: [groan]
EUROCRAT: It's only wafer thin.
EU: Look. I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
EUROCRAT: Oh, sir, just-- just one.
EU: [groaning] All right. Just one.
EUROCRAT: Just the one, monsieur. Voilà.
EU: [groaning]
EUROCRAT: Bon appétit.
EU: [EXPLOSION]
EUROCRAT: Thank you, sir, and now, here's ze check. only a tiny little thin one...
The original can be found here..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJZPzQESq_0
This Apocalypse Now quote has often come in handy at work :
ReplyDeleteKurtz: Are my methods unsound?
Willard: I don't see any method at all, sir.
You missed your calling, CUS.
ReplyDeleteLaban: We all like a bit of Apocalypse Now here. Especially that phrase.
ReplyDeleteSee this post
http://cityunslicker.blogspot.com/2008/04/great-strategist.html
I have in my hand a piece of Euro fudge, baked by Herr Merkel...
ReplyDeleteWe have received your Euro fudge order, delivery from black helicopters will begin shortly.
ReplyDelete