Gordon's Letter to Santa

Dear Santa
I have been a very busy boy this year.I have tried to be good but have had trouble sometimes telling the truth. But I know you won't mind.
My advisers said I needed to be seen to want a lot of trendy things... I think I remembered them correctly

• A Bent Ten watch
• Artic monies empty-three download
• Quantum of physics for X-factor360
• Pravda Shirt size XL
• A Wee smurf board
• Eye Phone
• Hugo Bros aftershave
• Samson r510 lapdance

But what I really want is..

• Rubber Nokia 6610 unbreakable {carphone warehouse} -£123.12
• smile on a stick {toys r us} -£3.99
• Purple beret for Sarah {Sue Ryder shop} - 50p
• Thick of it box set {amazon} -used -£12.56
• Superman costume {Woolworths} £20.00 now reduced to £7.45
• Scientific calculator {display must go up to a trillion trillion trillion trillion} -?
• Flash Gordon DVD {HMV} -£4.87
• The Rise of political lying book by Peter Oborne {amazon} used -72p
• My very first joke book {Amazon} - £3.99
• Angela Merkel voodoo doll {shucswinter.ge} - £19.99
• Grecian 2000 formula - £6.56
• “The Audacity of Hope” Audiobook- Barak Obama {waterstones} £12.99
• Camouflage suit and tie for my trips to Afghanistan
• £1,500 billion in gold

And anything else you think I might like or need in the comments