Thursday, 6 March 2008

Hillary Clinton hints at a dream ticket with Barack Obama

The Times have a story about the race for The White House. I think we know how this one goes already.

(Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are enjoying a meal at Juanita's Bar and Grill in El Paso)

"Look Barack, It's silly to continue with this contest. It is only going to damage the Democratic Party."

"I agree. You should step down"

"Me ! I have been chasing after the Presidency for 10 years!"

"And I am afraid that it shows"

"But Barack, I have been in politics all my life. My husband was the president. I have been studying economics and Washington protocol since for ever.."

" Mrs C, no-one cares about that. They voted for farm hand Bush. Twice. What people want is a sincere, warm , gladdening, friendly smile. Not the twisted grimace of a statistician on a stag weekend in Las Vegas.
When people look at me they see Lewis Hamilton.
When they look at you they see Christine Hamilton.
Only a certified maniac would hand a baby over to you to kiss.
Women want TO HAVE my babies !"

"But I have all the experience, all the lobby know how.I know how Washington works..."

" Look Hillary, and don't take this the wrong way, but , well , you see you just come across as a Creepy, Compulsive, Weird, Obsessive, Satanic , Grasping , Scheming, Anxious, Unscrupulous , Unprincipled , Genetically Mutated sort of Needy Social Cripple.

And I don't mean that in a bad way.

I come across like Wil Smith in Independence Day. You come across like Glen Close in Fatal Attraction"

"But Obama, you really don't know anything about politics. You don't have any policies.."

"Well let's ask these waitresses. Hey girls .. Hillbilly here is gonna talk about the Sub Prime. Gather round"

"Ahh, well , I need some notes, and advisers.. but well , I mean the situation .. A balancing of equity with provision of need. A review to be called upon to investigate the whole spectrum of welfare borrowing requirements to set aside , erm , the long term reflation of the economy and erm , move prices towards incomes...erm.."

{ The waitresses are getting bored and begin moving away. Barack Obama stands up and cries..}


{The waitresses go wild . Cheering comes from the entire crowd. One girl faints. }

"You see Billary , people hear me and think Shaft, He's the man !"
"They hear you and think Shaft, here it comes."

"I see, so what is your plan Barack ?"

"Look. I will be President. You could be Vice-President or Secretary of the Treasury. I will go around doing all the smiley , shaky-handy stuff , you do the serious behind the scenes business."

"And you will step down and support me in..... how long."

"A year baby , maybe two. Three at the most . Then it will be our time.."

Hi are you guys ready to order ?

Yes Ma'am. I would like a steak like my politics. Medium, with lots of options but on the side, and the entire choice of vegetables and condiments so there is something for everyone.

And you Miss ?

I would like my steak well done.

You have been baby.. Cheers.


Anonymous said...

In our history Americans fight for Hope and hope is what Hillary Clinton can’t give. She can't bring hope because she is one of the ones that have left us hopeless…Right now we are given an opportunity! It's time to show America how strong Hope can be. Obama represents one hope for America and one dream for Americans. My Featured video elaborates on these ideas, check it out.

Bill Quango MP said...

I think this is really about a discredited UK politician of some considerable fame and a similar but less famous chancellor of the exchequer.

Irony dear Latham, Irony

Mark Wadsworth said...

LOL. Latham's comment is hilarious. Can you re-do the story that Obama Bin Laden just stands up and shouts "Hope!"? Are any Americans really that dumb, to go for a one-word-manifesto?

Anonymous said...

See how our issues are fixed ?


Old BE said...

Great post. On a serious note though Hillary will be a "f*cking disaster" according to John Hutton MP.

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