Friday, 20 June 2008

Competition Results: Friday is Prize Day !

You cannot hope to bribe or square
Thank God ! the British villager

But seeing what the man will suffer
Unbribed, you can ignore the duffer !
(with apologies)

Doubtless it was a under a misapprehension of this sort that Gordon Brown had hoped to dump his nuclear waste at low cost. But no: we demand payola ! And some creativity with it.

First prize: 100 kilos of the green stuff to . . . Idle !

(what - you were hoping for a racehorse ?)

Second: 200 kilos to . . . Grumpy Granny !

(you won't need lightbulbs,
energy-saving or otherwise, after you get your hands on this lot !)

And third: 300 big ones to . . . Tuscan Tony !

hope it cures the olive blight !)

Referred to the Parliamentary Standards Commissioner
. . .
Bill Quango MP (corruption is a nasty word !)

Keep those bids coming - there's more where this came from.



Bill Quango MP said...

Quite clearly, and despite protestations to the contrary, IDLE has influenced voters in IDLE's favour.
I have therefore decided to think about possibly resigning my seat and holding a by election on the whole subject of this governments meanness with bribes for votes..

Old BE said...

Can I swap my upstairs neighbours for a few tins of this stuff? Nukes don't watch telly at full volume through the night...

Nick Drew said...

Bill - Denis Healey's Law of Holes comes to mind: when you're in one, stop digging

BE - yup, it glows very quietly, a soft green iridescence, bit like a lava lamp: could put it in your drawing-room, a conversation piece ... (and help with those heating bills) - though one day there might be a bit of a commotion at the front door

Old BE said...

Well, I would just quickly flush it...

Anonymous said...

Thank you! You will notice a lorry load of green-haired youths in a pick up arriving at your front door shortly to collect our prize.

Meanwhile, the deeds of the bungalows arrived safely this afternoon and we are off on the 5pm ferry on Saturday afternoon. See you there!

Mike Armitage said...

Dear Nick,

I've just spent about an hour deciding what to write, and also made copious notes all over the paper sacks we use to keep the used artificial insemination pipettes in.

I've come up with the ultimate solution, (pop over and see), and I'm too bloody late!

Idle's won - as usual, hopeless at Canasta though...;0)

Grumpers and I need to go and have a quiet talk about a few things too!

And that Mr Tuscan's always winning things - why he even has Mrs Trube's knickers on his website - and not bad they are too! I might just check out M&S in the village...

Anyway, I think there should be a recount, and Miranda agrees!


Doris x