Friday, 16 January 2009

Top Tips to help those working from home


Friday Fun

As the recession bites many of the recently redundant look at their pay off and decide that now is the time to set up that business that they have been thinking of creating, but never quite had the courage. Some lucky enough to still be employed will be working at home to save travel costs or possibly a salary cut and a four day week so...


Here is the Capitalists At Work top 10 guide of things to avoid when working from home.

1} YouTube, Facebook, Guido, Myspace etc and any adult sites with the word FREE in the title.
The temptation to find out what "Simpkins, from Marketing is doing now" can end up wasting an awful lot of the day.

2} Try not to look in the fridge.
Walking into the kitchen every few hours and absently opening the big white door may lead to food experimentation once you have scoffed all the yoghurt. "Hmmm , Chicken slices and Mince and Salad Cream sandwich" There is also a temtation to buy strange new products. Aztec coffee beans, Inca's hot chocolate with a hint of pine. Tinned cheese. Avoid them all.

3} Fallout 3, World of Warcraft, Fifa 2009, Solitaire etc.
If you turn to the PS3/Xbox/Gaming PC even for a second, the day is gone and all you will have to show for it is some dead elves.

4} Visiting the bathroom.
Bladder relief on the hour, every hour, whether required or not. Soon followed by a sudden desire to investigate your partners various potions, fragrances and creams. A very slippery slope that is best avoided..+ Mirror gazing. Grey hair monitoring, nostril checking and "new hairstyle" attempts are largely unnecessary

5} QVC and bid-up TV. Before long that combined Ipod and juice carrier sombrero looks quite attractive. " I need to go to the shops later. I could listen to my music and keep dry. And if I work up a thirst..? Only 40 left. Better write that number down."

6} Mr Angry.
The postman hasn't shut the gate! Normally you wouldn't even notice, but now...
"Dear Alan Leighton, why oh why must your ill educated lout of a delivery boy walk on my lawn when I have installed a path at great expense to myself. Further, I have been monitoring the times of my daily mail deliveries and I can report that there is considerable variance. I enclose a spread sheet. If you refer to section 1.a part B5 you will notice..."
Leave it, it isn't worth it.

7} Online newspapers and articles.
The daily global output is greater than your ability to read it all. Even if you are doing overtime. + it leads to {6} above. Blogging.See {6}, only more so as you will get feedback.

8} Google
It will only delay you. "What was the name of the referee in the '66 final? A quick Wikipedia and.."

9} Never turn on the television news or listen to anything on the radio.
Remember there is a minimum of one new government initiative or announcement every day. And you have time to ponder them. And disassemble the packaging a little. And give them some consideration. And before you know it you are doing the "Hang on a minute. That makes no sense at all. We had 10,000 troops in Iraq, but now another 4,000 are coming home. On top of the.. what was it 12,000 already announced.. as coming home... that can't be right." See {8} Wikipedia.

10} The partner's list.
If you have clearly failed to adopt any of the warnings above then the signs become obvious to your loved one: Unwashed Cheerio bowls, console games scattered on the sofa, Post-it notes with 'Goretex Aztec motoring gloves £19.95+pp' written on them. An increase in letters from the council, a feud with the bin men. Strange new snacks like "Cranberry flavor crisps" in the cupboard. A printed out article on home Botox treatments. Junk mail opened and read and pinned to a peg board instead of being thrown away; "become a snowboarding instructor in your spare time. Big cash rewards,"
A jammed shredder with various non paper products emanating from it after a "wonder if it can do tinfoil?" moment. etc etc.

Soon, little partner notes appear.
If you are not too busy please get cat food.Please pick up Henry from playgroup at 11am.

And as time goes on, the notes get longer.
Take this jumper back to Next for me. Do the shopping, list enclosed..don't buy anything not on the list! Throw out half pack of Cranberry crisps, clear out the junk mail, tidy up the sofa and hoover up those crumbs. Post those motoring gloves back to the shopping network and pick up the mail that the postman won't deliver. Fix shredder. Take the rubbish to the tip until the council start collecting again. Spare room still needs painting, lawn needs mowing. I will email you later to see how you are getting on.. love you XX.

Anymore advice or tips would be welcomed in the comments.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Growing a Beard. because you can

hatfield girl said...

Take over running the household. It's interesting and takes much less time than those who do it pretend. There is the split hours - dinner cannot be denied, but usually it's all, including dinner, well sorted by 10am and no-one is around till 7.

Clear conscience for all the other stuff.

Prodicus said...

Working from home yerself, then, if you have time to work on this essay. Gotcha.

Anonymous said...

Don't start reading any lists of ten...

Anonymous said...

Any Box sets of DVD's should be locked away
24
Lost
West wing
The wire

Vicar of Dibley

Sackerson said...

I believe Americans refer to #10 as Honey-Do's.

Electro-Kevin said...

I'd be terrible at working from home. (My job)

;-)

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

Its the old self discipline thing. One aid that I am discovering, is to keep all my work on one PC, and all my fun on another. The art is then to keep the "fun" PC turned off until all the work is done. Fancy another yoghurt?

Edindie said...

You sly dog Bill, does this mean you ride with the Horde?

Lola said...

Trick is to find something that makes you a living from 'working' from home that takes no more than one hour a day to do.

This is of course, anything.

Because, as you have set out so lucidly, whatever you do the other 7 (seven!?) hours are not productive.

This is the 'work expands to fill the time available for completion' theorem from Parkinson's Law.

Lola said...

Thank you Sackerson for the 'Honey-do' thingy. I had some of those this a.m., one of which included rodding the drains (yes, really, and in the pouring bloody rain) but I rewarded myself with a route to work that took me to a place where I knew there would be the Mother Of All Puddles through which I could drive. (My daily transport is an ancient but well looked after L-R Defender). Y'see, I have managed a whole load of working from home time wasting and I was going to work. Self employed natch.

Man in a Shed said...

Good advice, but way too late as I'm reading it in the kitchen facing the fridge.

Man in a Shed said...

PS The problem with the spouse who sees your time as hers is why I purchased the Shed in the first place.

Today I'm in the kitchen waiting for box sets of DVD's to be delivered.

Its all too late for me isn't it ?

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