Friday 17 August 2007

Couldn't Make It Up (part 94)

Well, as the financial markets melt down it’s A-level time again and a young person’s fancy is directed toward ‘Uni’ as I suppose we must learn to call it. The government wants 50% of da yoof to gravitate in that direction.

Now the Drew read Philosophy and so automatically turns to the Phil section in the Grauniad’s long list of courses the ‘new universities’ can’t fill. And by Heaven there are some amazing courses on offer.

For the avoidance of doubt, not a single one of what follows was invented by my Guinness-fuelled imagination.

Phil with Digital Publishing (Hertfordshire) - this is perhaps what I’m doing at this very moment, I think I am in line for an honorary doctorate

Phil and Sport (Manchester Met) or, if a bit of ballast is required, Phil & Ethics & Sport (Liverpool Hope): or Phil & Sports Dev (St Mark & St John) – the connection is probably drugs …

Phil with Equine Studies (Northampton) – there is a joke just itching to be written here but I’m too numb to come up with it just now

Phil with Dance (Northampton again) - & perhaps dancing horses …?

Phil with Gender Studies (Hull) – guest lecturer J.Prescott ? Actually, this would be an absolute cracker: for starters – why hasn’t there been a single women philosopher in the whole history of the universe ? ooops, there goes the honorary doctorate

Phil & Media & Commercial Studies (Wolverhampton) – well I suppose the academically renowned Wolverhampton school of philosophers do need to promote themselves a bit more professionally

Phil & Popular History (Staffordshire) – thinking about it, there is definitely a gap for a ‘1066 And All That’ type of philosophy text, I might write it meself

Phil & Social Justice (Manchester Met) – the blood runs cold: please stick to the Sport, guys

Phil & HR Management (Northampton) – not content with dancing horses … I think we’ve all met HR types who’ve been on this course

And finally, before my sides split, Phil with …

with … with … Outdoor Adventure Studies ! (St Mark & St John again) . . . what is going on here ?

Altogether now

Im…..manuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table . . .



Steven_L said...

You know why this is, they like to market as many degrees as possible out of the modules they offer.

This way more lecturers can be 'course directors' and pick up a few grand extra.

Alice said...

Everything is so focussed now on employment prospects that young people who want to do Philosophy probably feel they have to combine it with something that will make them look more attractive to an employer. Who wants to employ a philosopher?

The idea of education for its own sake, to expand one's mind etc is all but gone from our system and the rhetoric that surrounds it now.

Mark Wadsworth said...

I don't think it's the 'Phil' that upset him so much as the crap like 'Outdoor Adventure Studies'.

Nick Drew said...

Alice - I am pleased to say someone employed me

but that was a few years ago now ...

(& when I wanted Outdoor Adventure I joined the Army !)

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Yes, a lot of these courses are just crazy and when is any government going to get it into its head that 50% are not capable of sustaining a good higher ed course? I hate saying it as I used to believe anything was possible - I really did....

Nick Drew said...

Welshcakes - yes, the sad thing is, they virtually pressgang some kids into enrolling, to keep the numbers up

and the motivation just ain't there; so accordingly the drop-out rates in some of these places is astronomical

but they are still on the hook for the debts ...