Friday 16 January 2009

Top Tips to help those working from home

Friday Fun

As the recession bites many of the recently redundant look at their pay off and decide that now is the time to set up that business that they have been thinking of creating, but never quite had the courage. Some lucky enough to still be employed will be working at home to save travel costs or possibly a salary cut and a four day week so...

Here is the Capitalists At Work top 10 guide of things to avoid when working from home.

1} YouTube, Facebook, Guido, Myspace etc and any adult sites with the word FREE in the title.
The temptation to find out what "Simpkins, from Marketing is doing now" can end up wasting an awful lot of the day.

2} Try not to look in the fridge.
Walking into the kitchen every few hours and absently opening the big white door may lead to food experimentation once you have scoffed all the yoghurt. "Hmmm , Chicken slices and Mince and Salad Cream sandwich" There is also a temtation to buy strange new products. Aztec coffee beans, Inca's hot chocolate with a hint of pine. Tinned cheese. Avoid them all.

3} Fallout 3, World of Warcraft, Fifa 2009, Solitaire etc.
If you turn to the PS3/Xbox/Gaming PC even for a second, the day is gone and all you will have to show for it is some dead elves.

4} Visiting the bathroom.
Bladder relief on the hour, every hour, whether required or not. Soon followed by a sudden desire to investigate your partners various potions, fragrances and creams. A very slippery slope that is best avoided..+ Mirror gazing. Grey hair monitoring, nostril checking and "new hairstyle" attempts are largely unnecessary

5} QVC and bid-up TV. Before long that combined Ipod and juice carrier sombrero looks quite attractive. " I need to go to the shops later. I could listen to my music and keep dry. And if I work up a thirst..? Only 40 left. Better write that number down."

6} Mr Angry.
The postman hasn't shut the gate! Normally you wouldn't even notice, but now...
"Dear Alan Leighton, why oh why must your ill educated lout of a delivery boy walk on my lawn when I have installed a path at great expense to myself. Further, I have been monitoring the times of my daily mail deliveries and I can report that there is considerable variance. I enclose a spread sheet. If you refer to section 1.a part B5 you will notice..."
Leave it, it isn't worth it.

7} Online newspapers and articles.
The daily global output is greater than your ability to read it all. Even if you are doing overtime. + it leads to {6} above. Blogging.See {6}, only more so as you will get feedback.

8} Google
It will only delay you. "What was the name of the referee in the '66 final? A quick Wikipedia and.."

9} Never turn on the television news or listen to anything on the radio.
Remember there is a minimum of one new government initiative or announcement every day. And you have time to ponder them. And disassemble the packaging a little. And give them some consideration. And before you know it you are doing the "Hang on a minute. That makes no sense at all. We had 10,000 troops in Iraq, but now another 4,000 are coming home. On top of the.. what was it 12,000 already announced.. as coming home... that can't be right." See {8} Wikipedia.

10} The partner's list.
If you have clearly failed to adopt any of the warnings above then the signs become obvious to your loved one: Unwashed Cheerio bowls, console games scattered on the sofa, Post-it notes with 'Goretex Aztec motoring gloves £19.95+pp' written on them. An increase in letters from the council, a feud with the bin men. Strange new snacks like "Cranberry flavor crisps" in the cupboard. A printed out article on home Botox treatments. Junk mail opened and read and pinned to a peg board instead of being thrown away; "become a snowboarding instructor in your spare time. Big cash rewards,"
A jammed shredder with various non paper products emanating from it after a "wonder if it can do tinfoil?" moment. etc etc.

Soon, little partner notes appear.
If you are not too busy please get cat food.Please pick up Henry from playgroup at 11am.

And as time goes on, the notes get longer.
Take this jumper back to Next for me. Do the shopping, list enclosed..don't buy anything not on the list! Throw out half pack of Cranberry crisps, clear out the junk mail, tidy up the sofa and hoover up those crumbs. Post those motoring gloves back to the shopping network and pick up the mail that the postman won't deliver. Fix shredder. Take the rubbish to the tip until the council start collecting again. Spare room still needs painting, lawn needs mowing. I will email you later to see how you are getting on.. love you XX.

Anymore advice or tips would be welcomed in the comments.


Anonymous said...

Growing a Beard. because you can

hatfield girl said...

Take over running the household. It's interesting and takes much less time than those who do it pretend. There is the split hours - dinner cannot be denied, but usually it's all, including dinner, well sorted by 10am and no-one is around till 7.

Clear conscience for all the other stuff.

Prodicus said...

Working from home yerself, then, if you have time to work on this essay. Gotcha.

Anonymous said...

Don't start reading any lists of ten...

Anonymous said...

Any Box sets of DVD's should be locked away
West wing
The wire

Vicar of Dibley

Sackerson said...

I believe Americans refer to #10 as Honey-Do's.

Electro-Kevin said...

I'd be terrible at working from home. (My job)


Anonymous said...

Its the old self discipline thing. One aid that I am discovering, is to keep all my work on one PC, and all my fun on another. The art is then to keep the "fun" PC turned off until all the work is done. Fancy another yoghurt?

Edindie said...

You sly dog Bill, does this mean you ride with the Horde?

Lola said...

Trick is to find something that makes you a living from 'working' from home that takes no more than one hour a day to do.

This is of course, anything.

Because, as you have set out so lucidly, whatever you do the other 7 (seven!?) hours are not productive.

This is the 'work expands to fill the time available for completion' theorem from Parkinson's Law.

Lola said...

Thank you Sackerson for the 'Honey-do' thingy. I had some of those this a.m., one of which included rodding the drains (yes, really, and in the pouring bloody rain) but I rewarded myself with a route to work that took me to a place where I knew there would be the Mother Of All Puddles through which I could drive. (My daily transport is an ancient but well looked after L-R Defender). Y'see, I have managed a whole load of working from home time wasting and I was going to work. Self employed natch.

Man in a Shed said...

Good advice, but way too late as I'm reading it in the kitchen facing the fridge.

Man in a Shed said...

PS The problem with the spouse who sees your time as hers is why I purchased the Shed in the first place.

Today I'm in the kitchen waiting for box sets of DVD's to be delivered.

Its all too late for me isn't it ?

Anonymous said...

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

Anonymous said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,