Friday, 25 September 2009

King Gord's Conference: AA Milne Had Him Nailed

With the usual grovelling apologies - this time to AA Milne

King Gord was not a good man
A coward to his bones

He hurled abuse at all his staff

And often mobile ‘phones
But every year at Conference
They’d let him out to speak

He’d give them tractor stats galore

He’d be applauded from the floor

Ovations too (the whip
s made sure)
How he loved Conference Week !

King Gord was not a good man
He lived his l
ife aloof
He’d thought of stepping ‘neath a bus
Or jumping from the roof

A Conference speech
he had to make
But naught to say of note

He couldn’t get to sleep at night
Till Sarah, pityin
g his plight
“To Santa Claus, you’d better write”
And this is what he wrote.

“I want to meet Obama,
And I want g
ood news
And victory in Afghanistan
Would help to cure the blues
I don’t min
d lying
So it needn’t all be true
And it SHOULD make me look better
Than Tony you-know-who
And, oh! Father Christmas, if you want to help me sleep
A photo please of Cameron, in congress with a sheep!”



Bill Quango MP said...

Very good.
Another winner.

Demetrius said...

I take you are referring to the Oxford Farming Conference on 4 January 2010 at the Examination Halls in Oxford? Your item would make an excellent paper for circulation for disseminating ideas.

Nick Drew said...

yes indeed, and the hunt is on to find a suitable illustration to liven up his otherwise rather dull tractor-stats

Charon QC said...

Excellent.... enjoyed that!

idle said...


If Dave, as I suspect, freezes in the headlights after becoming PM next year, I will parody The Old Sailor from Now We Are Six.

James Higham said...

Gosh, you're doing a Bill Quango now.

Nick Drew said...

ahem James I have been polluting the airwaves thus for many a long moon but generally elsewhere (G.Fawkes; he has a search facility)

Mr Idle has also been a gracious host - good to see they let you out at weekends Mr I ! Old Sailor - the suspense will be the end of me