Friday, 27 November 2009

How to remove a virus


Blair v7.0 transformed into Brown v0.5

Dear Tech Support:

2008/11

I am still having trouble with this program. I was told that Blair v7.0 would continue being in operation until at least 2010. Yet I have discovered that since the Iraq update Blairv7.0 is no longer supported. Instead Laboursoft advised me to install Brown V0.5. This has proved totally unsatisfactory. Brown V0.5 runs very slowly,is erratic and is very expensive. The specs for the Prudence program are totally off. No way will this run on 1mb Ram! More like 8mb Ram. I'm very disappointed.

How can I go back to Blair v7. ?

Adam Uff

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REPLY: to Adam Uff

Tech Support: N.Urd

Adam

Sorry, but Blair 7.0 was becoming very unpopular and corrupt so Laboursoft took the decision to discontinue it. You had Brown V0.1 already installed as a utilities background program with Blair V.1.01. It had some useful features like SellGold and the game BoomBust. However Brown V.05 is the operating system and is proving very difficult to remove. I will send you patch 1.00 Miliband to see if this helps.

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REPLY:Adam Uff

Installed Miliband patch but it did not do anything except add a banana logo to the opening screen. It totally failed to purge Brown from the operating system. Also I now find that Chancellor/resentful/bitter which was a separate program under Blair V.07 is now part of the Brown v.05 core program and cannot be operated independently. Its very frustrating as that is where the finance files are. Also Brown V.05 is taking up a lot of the resources from the other programs. Its constantly relaunching itself from the desktop. I don't believe this program is very stable.

I've removed the Vince data Cables as they weren't doing anything and tried booting from a previous 1997 backup but it won't restore. I just get this message

ERROR £200,000,000,000,000 UNSUPPORTED DEBT.

DO YOU WANT TO REPORT THIS CODE TO THE IMF?

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REPLY:Tech Support: N.Urd

Hi Adam

On Livingstone V8.0 I used Bozone and it completely cleaned out the registry and restored all the corrupted files. Have you tried that?

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REPLY: Adam Uff

Bozone is only a London local program and cannot delete Brown V.05. I have just checked for Spyware.

WoW. I ran DavidDavis and found 1000's of spyware all over the place. Jacqui CCTV, JohnsonDNA, 42 daysReid, Eye-Dcard-4U. There is also a program called Mandlespin and Equality restore. What do you think. Is that bad?

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REPLY:Tech Support: N.Urd

Yes that is bad. Mandelspin is a self replicating backdoor worm that pervades everything without any user intervention. It does not attach itself to any existing programs but still consumes huge resources and keeps spreading itself. Do not open anything up if near Mandelspin.

Equality restore looks harmless but it is the old Harmanx Trojan under another name. A very nasty piece of spyware and as hard to remove as Brown 0.5. Harmanx monitors your bin levels, methane emissions, alcohol consumption, double-entendres, skirt lengths and also all emails and phonecalls. Harmanx can also lose all your data and transfer your online accounts to a failed bank.

I'm afraid it may have to be a complete reformat. Even then that may not work and you might have to just junk the whole PC and start again. Election2010 is promising to remove Brown V.05 and all that other malaware completely but its not available until the new year Then you install Cameron V1.00 and hope for the best, but that's completely untested at the moment.

I'll open up the comment board in case any readers have any solutions for the removal of Brown V.05 or some other applications or programs that might help your situation.

Tech Support

13 comments:

Moggs Tigerpaw said...

I find open source operating systems are much less prone to being corrupted or vulnerable to worms, malware etc.

Probably because the code is totally transparent and many independent people and groups work on it. The continuous wide spread oversight and upgrading nips any problems in the bud.

There are quite a few versions about, many are free. They are loosely based on the old classic WHIG operating system used on mainframe difference engines long before the Pc and developed as a project by great believers in Open Source systems such as Chomsky and Rand.

My favourite is Libertarian the Small state version dubbed "Dancing Meercat".

Not big in Old Europe, catching in in the us and has quite a few happy users world wide.

Blue Eyes said...

LOL!

Saturn V said...

Have you tried MI5 scan? This could retrieve deep memory communist sleeper information on Brown V.05 and may help to remove it.

Anonymous said...

There's a rumour that Mandelspin can't be removed but it can be upgraded and quarantined with E-YOU, an integration program.
This was reportedly going to reinstall Blair but it seems to be vapourware at present. Check for updates in 2015

Letters From A Tory said...

Outstanding.

Nick Drew said...

Nowadays you can get most of the functionality you need on a mobile 'phone - but unfortunately Brown v0.5 has been known to crash these, too

James Higham said...

Open source is better, as Moggs said.

Gentlemen of Capitalists at Work - I would greatly appreciate one of you moseying on over at some stage and commenting on the Friday snippets post - I'd like to know if the economics is sound or not.

Moggs Tigerpaw said...

I heard Cameron crashed badly in development but the software developers kept it quiet.

Apparently the developers hadn't got a proper fix for the 'Lisbon' worm and it loaded a bot virus called 'Constitution' forcing a stack overflow on Cameron. Needed a complete reboot and it is still not right.

CityUnslicker said...

Love the post BQ.

Bill Quango MP said...

Could try service pack 1 for Brown V.05 {Spindows 7, Sindows QE + clunking Fista}
It has a AliCampbell file that operates as follows.

"Checking system files .. everything is fine.
Checking hard drive .. looks great
Checking back up .. better than ever.
Scanning external drives .. big improvement.

No errors to report, no files deleted. No changes made.
Your system is much better than under the Tories."

Anonymous said...

Does the old Thatcher ZX 79 still work on this sort of problem?

Anonymous said...

Malware, should that not be Mandelware?

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