Thursday 10 February 2011

Question Time quiz-i-guess

This week its Bristol, which is public sector heaven. I toured the 'government agency' super office blocks a few weeks back. Expect 'crippling cuts' to be the continuing theme.

David Dimbleby is joined in Bristol by Francis Maude MP,{Cabinet sec, Tory wet..someone on Radio on 5 recently said Was that Francis Maude? I like her, she's all right."}
Sir Menzies Campbell MP, former leader of the yellows. Knows a bit about ageism. Might he question why at 73, Dimbleby has had a five year, £3 million quid, extension to his question time job?"}
Jacqui Smith, {The woman who bought in regulation to ban strippers in pubs. I suppose her husband was working against that regulation, in his own way.}
Mehdi Hasan {loony attack dog of the Ed Balls school of politics and deficit denial. New Statesman fantasy plans will abound. There is no debt.}
and Douglas Murray {journo and ..anti-Islamist..Hard for anyone to be on the right of him. Even Hess might have asked him to tone it down a bit.}

YOU choose what you think the panel may be asked by the audience. YOU put those guess questions into the comments... points are awarded for accuracy, style, exclusivity, humour and sometimes just randomly.

Winner gets to choose anew format for this ageist show. Question time meets million pound drop? up on her Evening Standard reader's offer.

BQ chooses

  1. Abdelbaset Mohmed Ali al-Megrahi and the former government in shocking not telling the truth horror
  2. ASBOs no a longer a good enough mark of respect. Youth demand a better badge of honour
  3. Big Society is getting smaller by the day. Councils and fake charities want the money not the volunteers.
  4. Human rights and votes for ax murderers. Could this rubbish non issue actually break UK from Euro Courts?
  5. Rouge Lib Dems. Activists and councillors prefer promising everything to delivering only some things. Coalition to split?

Week 5 UPDATED. League Table

BQ -- 14.5
Timbo614 -- 14.5
Botogol - 13
Miss S-J -- 13
Malcolm Tucker -- 11
Nick Drew --11
Hovis - 10
Miss CD --8.5
Hatfield girl --7.5
CU - 5.5
Dick the prick -5
Budgie 5
Appointment to the board - 4
Anon -4
Blue Eyes - 3.5
Andrew --2
Woman on a Raft -1


Dick the Prick said...

Hmmm....toughie this week. However

1) Libraries, cuts, Lib Dem bashing - Lib Dem Cllr letters and co-alition problems

2) Prisoners votes, hand wringing

3) Bankers maybe

4) Tuition fees maybe

5) Egypt again maybe

Oooh, it's tough. Not confident at all. Maybe corrupt MPs but I think the BBC kool aid wipes that from the cortex.

Miss CD said...

Hmm..Bit tougher.
Shouty Hassan is on. Can't stand him.

1. granny handbagger is the big society in action
2. Should forces schoolchildren get special education
3. Closing all the public toilets in Manchester..politically motivated, frontline, in yer face taxpayers,blame the Tory-led coalition pal..not me mate.
4.Banker taxes. Was it the weakest possible deal?
5.Tuition fees. Only the best universities can charge the £9k.

If Mubarak resigns then that's a first question. if he doesn't..well, press seem to have lost interest in Egypt.

Botogol said...

[egypt is so last week -- and let's face it, while an uprising is always fun, no one actually cares about egypt anyway]

So, here are the guesses chez botogol

Should prisoners be allowed to vote
(blah blah.. EU, curvy bananas, metric weights. Isn't it ironic how we are passing a sovereignty bill through parliament as we speak)

Shouldn't universities be allowed to charge £9,000 if they want to?
(top universities charge top prices.. what else did they expect?)

Have the banks got one over on the government yet again?
- Project Merlin - nothing up my you see it, now you don't...

Did the Govt do a shabby deal when we released the Lockerbie Bomber
(but look at Ronnie Biggs)

Are the cuts detroying the Big Society?

Bonus point (or four?) if anyone mention cosmetic buttocks

hovis said...

1. Project Merlin and Bankers Pay vs Public sector pay - this week's Evil Bankers question wiklkl take the Ed balls line.

2.Axe murders, Ken Clarke and the Lib dems vs everyone else. Are we Big Meanies for denying prisoner's the vote even though we deny them liberty.

3. Lockerbie bomber deal - was it suprise that we cosy up with murdering Libiyan thugs ( even if he didnt do that particula bomb). The stress will be on the govt - not the Labour party btw)

4.Big Society is for Big Meanies

5. Lib Dems opposing cuts an critising soft deals on the banks - is the the start of a big wobble?

Malcolm Tucker said...

- Egypt to be ruled by the speaker of the house. have we checked our constitution for revolution? Is it possible Sarah Teather or John Bercow would become Prime minister?

- Hirst prisoner votes. the disgrace continues.

- Liberal chickens rock the boat. {On R5 the letter's author said BBC were being very selective with the letter's quotes.}

- Phone hacking {no one cares, but it will come up.}

- Libya and wikileaks. government lied..lied badly. Was anyone really convinced they weren't porkying it up at the time?

Timbo614 said...

As everyone says a bit trickier this week. I think QT did prisoners votes a few weeks back (or last year?) and we won't know about Mubarak's speech in time so..

1) What do the panel think the new fashionable politics should be instead of multiculturalism?

2) Project Merlin, do the panel think magic will work on bankers? Or will they magic away all the purported new loan money after they get their obscure, but profitable, Tax-haven UK rule changes approved?

3) Is the big society bogged down already?

4)Do the panel think that a responsible 14 year old is able to look after a 3 year old sister for half and hour?

5) Are the Lib Dems revolting? (89? of them anyway)

Nick Drew said...

1. some sort of portmanteau N.Africa question embracing both Egypt & Libya (should we keep our noses out of Arab affairs?)

2. votes for prisoners / defying ECHR

3. top universities as instruments of social engineering / attempt to give Clegg a teenyweeny victory

if time (probably not, on recent performances)

4. people attacking banks

5. grannies attacking people attacking banks (or jewellers shops or whatever)

Woman on a Raft said...

Does the panel seriously think Mr Dimbleby is a stud-muffin?

Does the panel think parents have a right to know if their children are bullied at school?

What would the panel say or do to a banker and his bonus if they got their hands on them?

Does the panel think that a Day of Rage, as in Cairo, could happen here?

How would the panel test if a woman claiming to be a lesbian is really a lesbian?

Budgie said...

1. Egypt, Tunisia, Jordan riots against evil Tories, Mubarak and Jews, and in favour of Palestinians;

2. Ed Balls vanquishes evil Tory Osborne cuts horror armageddon double dip;

3. Votes for prisoners to bring down evil Tories - hurrah for the ECHR;

4. BoE holds rate at 0.5% for quadrillionth month despite inflation at 9.4% caused by evil Tories;

5. Irish plane crash - Martin McGuiness' "heart is broken" over deaths of innocents, and because he mislaid his Black&Decker.

Dick the Prick said...

@Budgie - 5) yeah, my heart is broken too - Kneecaps was meant to be on it tomorrow morning!

Miss S-J said...

1- What now for the Pharaohs?
2- Libya and oil. Wikileaks is good for us.
3- Bankers bonuses. Why are they allowed to have them.
4- MPs tell Human Rights court to shove it.
5- won't be one. But if there is a quickie about are the panel watching that cancer program on 4?

appointmetotheboard said...

Y'know, I think I'd pay good money to see Jordan rioting against evil Tories. That would be one reality TV show of hers worth watching.

Onto the wild guessing. As others have said, a tricky week...

1. Law-breakers should not be law-makers. Unless their name is Lord Archer.

2. Masters of the Universe 1, Treasury 0.

3. Big Society - Francis Maude, bless her, is one of only three people in the country who knows what it is, can explain it, and cares. Side order of Lib Dem revolt.

4. We never got an answer - is Nick Clegg stupid, mad, malicious or some combination of all three?

5. Wild, blind shot in the dark, but given the guests... is Theresa May right to throw open the UKs doors to them from abroad - so long as they are extremely wealthy?

Timbo614 said...

S**T Egypt will be a scary place for while now :(

Bill Quango MP said...

1st Q - Votes for prisoners. Big decision today that might have much bigger consequences. JS thinks no votes is fine. MH, as always, on the wrong side of public opinion says it isn't. Ming says it doesn't matter anyway. Nothing is decided.
He bigs up the rights of the people to fair laws. {Ming- the UK people aren't upset with the human rights act. they are livid at the human rights lawyers who use it to make everything a human right. Should all prisoners be allowed to have their kids in for the weekend? should they be allowed out to go bowling? Must we be unable as a nation to deport rapists? That's where it leads. That's the sodding problem!}

Q2 - speedy Dimby tonight.
Multiculti question. Good one!
Should have guessed with DM on the panel. He agrees with Dave.
MH doesn't agree,and gets more applause.
Ming..I don't know what he thinks. Neither does he. Brining in Ireland/Scotland. No Ming!
They are separate nations within a union. Its not the same.Unless Bradford is allowed its own laws and religious affairs. Which may well be a solution. Panel asks why Dave bought this up at all. I did wonder that myself.
MH has been pretty good on this issue. So has audience.

Q3. erm..rambling question about Egypt.Domino effect I think.
MH - welcomes the protests. Talks bollocks about USA/UK propping up dictators in Egypt for oil. Only partly for the oil region.
Mostly to stop another mid-east war breaking out.
Ming mentions Nasser. JS doesn't even to attempt to answer MH's attack on Blair staying with Mubarak.
Public love the idea of overthrowing tyrants. Not sure they are informed on the possible outcomes afterwards. Hasn't been much talk about that on the news.
Nutter in audience claims UK troops are stationed in three Islamic countries where we base no troops.

Q4. Big soc.
Ming bores us all.
JS gives very faint praise.
FM gives the Labour caused it all line to get terrible, surely orchestrated boos? Dimby steps in. {FM actually got more applause for talking about cuts than the activists did for trying to deny them}
Bristol has one of the only Labour seats in the south of England. Its very red.
FM does pretty well. As does DM.
I don't much care for Mehdi, but he does know how to marshal his arguments.
JS talks rubbish to much applause.

Bill Quango MP said...

Lets see...

BQ - 2

DP - 2

Miss CD - 1/2 for Egypt. 1/2 for the rest =1

Botogol - 2. {Egypt is so last week eh?}

Hovis -2

Malcolm tucker - 2

Timbo614 - 2 + 1 for being the only one to spot the so bloody obvious if you looked at the panel multicultural Q. =3

Woman on a raft - just the 1.

Budgie - 2 +.5 for the linking mid-east domino spot.

ND - 2 +.5 for again the linky middle east.

Miss S-J - 2 +.5 for that emphatic only 4 qs. =2.5

appointmetotheboard - just 2

Winner is Timbo614 with 3.
Now improve this dreary format.
You have a £100 budget.

Timbo614 said...

Hmm, £100 what should I do with the remainder?

I would pension off Dimby, but I rather like him and it's outside the budget.

Instead, Guinness all round for the panel distributed 1 hour before the kick-of :) Or for free - limit each question to 10 minutes (or is that too sensible for C@W).

heh, heh 1st time winner in nearly 2 years :))

hatfield girl said...

Sorry I missed this one. There's hand-to-hand fighting in Bloomsbury with the Labour Gladio stay-behind apparatchiks trying to assert they still control education and schools - and where they will be provided.

Dick the Prick said...

@Timbo - or Guiness all round for the audience!

Bill Quango MP said...

You've never won before Timbo?
But you're joint top of the league.

How did you get up there? Postal votes?

hovis said...

I think each panelist should make their point and then slug it out with their opponent in a newly appointed boxing ring at the side of the stage. Perhaps tag team wrestling to settle the matter. Teams decided broadly by PoV on each subject.

Timbo614 said...

@BQ - Tortoise approach :)

My sleeping brain came up with a better plan for QT:

ND should chair(remuneration £100), On the right representatives of the GOBS (Gas & Oil Believer Society), on the left Sunshine is Never Obscured Believers (SNOBs).


How do the GOBS define infinity?

Are the Arabs lying about their
definition of infinity?

Do we trust GAZProms definition?

Should SNOBs invest now or wait for TSTHTF?

Throwaway Q: Is the Silver in the Vaults or not?

Over to you Nick, you have 1 hour...:))

Nick Drew said...

if I wasn't packing to go away this w/end Timbo I should have something to say abt this

but as it is, I'll just take the £100, thank-you, and ponder on whilst driving

PS a piece of sound advice: ALWAYS TRUST GAZPROM

Timbo614 said...


I refer the Hon. Gentleman to Question Time, Moscow, 30 March 2006


Start just before 50 Minutes in (although all of it is interesting)

Drive safely, have a nice trip, (Myself I wouldn't go near a steering wheel just at the mo').


Nick Drew said...

You werr note leestning, Teembo


orr else