Thursday 7 April 2011

Question time quiz

David Dimbleby is joined in Oxford {which is politically a three way. Labour hold east very strong - lib/con equal votes amongst the rest.}

by Jeremy Hunt MP,{minister for opera/tv & football. Ex Oxford man himself. Man who decides if evil Murdoch will gain control of the world or something..}
Caroline Flint MP,{Former minister of various non-posts culminating in minister for Europe when she confessed to having no idea what was in the Lisbon treaty she urged everyone to support. Interrupts a lot..See how long before Dimby slaps her down.}
Jo Swinson MP, {Scots lib-dem. Noted campaigner against chocolate eggs, which is at least topical.}
Professor Lord Winston {Medical media figure and Labour peer. Big on the arts too. Is that a hint?}
and Simon Callow {insufferable luvvie, but I really like him. Actor/writer/ raconteur/ prominent homosexual in the best Stephen Fry tradition. Hopefully entertaining.}

BQ thinks
1. Portugal - Does this prove the debt has to be tackled? {no}
2. Cuts to the arts have decimated Britain and returned us to some pre Ipad dial-up hell zone.}
3. NHS U-Turn, that is, but isn't. {leave it Dave! it ain't worf it.}
4. Tuition fees at 9k by 99% of uni. Did anyone on the panel really expect that would not happen? {Jo Swinson excepted.}
5. Could be anything..will go for IRA bombing shows ireland now more united than ever.

Winner gets to decide whether to bail out Portugal or just invade it.


Miss S-J said...

- Portugal. Is Spain next
- News of the World Arrests. Is Jeremy Hunt aware?
- Libya. What to do about the stalemate?
- Clegg's tears. Were they for the old days when no-one listened to a word he said so it didn't matter what rubbish he came out with?
Interns. After a year in office why haven't Liberal Democrats learned that they can't just spout garbage without someone checking?

measured said...

1. When will interest rates go up because of Portugal. Spain and.. Germany? I hope someone points out it is not demand inflation but cost price inflation.

2. Will anyone take any notice of the AV campaign? The LibDem lifeline.

3. Should Cameron write to Hillary? What would he say?

4. Will my GP ever allow me to choose what kind of baby I want under NHS reforms?

5. Which is better; the minimum wage or a second rate degree?

lilith said...

Libya - does anyone really believe that Al Qayida exists anymore?

BBC impartiality - how many more times must we listen to Evan Davis stroking Ed's Balls or Eddie Smug pretending he's Paxman when a Conservative minister is on?

Cuts - will Covent Garden shut down now that Fortnum's has been vandalised? Will fat people just have to stop eating rather than having a stomach band?

Portugal - Is there anyone left who believes Christiano Ronaldo isn't gay?

Arts - Will Simon Callow get more for his flats if he reconverts them back into one house?

Miss CD said...

1. Tax changes. 80% are better off. Or 80% are worse off depending on which news channel you watch.

2.Portugal. Is it all over for the Euro? or must we wait until Spain and italy go bust

3. prof gets ask to explain why AV is such a great idea.Or not.

4. NHS reforms have gone wrong before they have even started. Is this coalition really sure what its doing?

5. Schools on strike. Why won't the managers let the staff teach the parents?

andrew said...

1 Fraud - send him down or hang him?

2 NHS reform - stillborn?

3 Northern Ireland - last gasp of the extremists or the first bomb of spring

4 Portugal - how happy we are not to be in the euro

5 Something about oxford and fees and the arts (footlights)

GSD said...

most of the big stories this week seem to have been going on forever, so just wild guesses this week.

1) NHS: with a review of "Plan A" announced, what should "Plan B" be?

2) Foreign Aid: Should it be linked to human rights improvements? (re DC's Pakistan visit).

3) Is the UK to blame for most of the worlds problems?

4) Portugal: Is this the end of the Eurozone crisis and how much will it cost us in the UK?

5) with inflation still well above target, should the BoE raise interest rates?

Malcolm Tucker said...

1 Portugal. How come if we didn't sign up to the Euro we keep bailing them out?

2 Central bank rates up. how long until the UK follows?

3 NHS - We're listening, but not very hard.

4 The British promise. Is it as worthless as the British jobs for British workers one was?

5 AV voting. Why does no-one care about it?

Timbo614 said...

Nearly forgot :(

1) European interest rates - Are we next? (every one will go broke, what with cuts and other cuts and prices).

2) I see everyone jumping on my AV awareness bandwagon! So.. is AV only good for the LibDems?

3) Can we afford to do without the sometimes dubious "art", and look after the old farts, for a change?

4) Is it about time we gave teachers back THEIR rights against pupil violence and some power to act independently?

Throwaway: saucy smiley suggestive sticky stamps banned - is it PC gone mad (again)?

appointmetotheboard said...

i'm putting my head on the block, and saying no Libya question this week. Not with confidence though..

1. With its welfare to work programme, volunteering for the Big Society and opening up internships, has this Government done more for equality than any other by ensuring that everyone, regardless of class, age, or sex has the opportunity to work for free?

Will anyone dare mention Dimbleby's father..?!

2. NHS reforms. We're listening, blowing a raspberry, and ploughing on regardless.

3. Can the markets really rise to the enormous challenge and short Spain into a bailout? Or, more interestingly, if we *had* joined the Euro, when/would the UK need one?

4. with that panel, there must be something 'arts' orientated, I guess. Should Murdoch be allowed to buy a privatised BBC?

5. Worse off Wednesday or Woohoo Wednesday?

Hm. In the unlikely event I score 5 points tonight, I'm putting a grand on the grand national...

Nick Drew said...

1. should Oxford be forced to admit illiterates as undergraduates; & banks admit them as interns ?

2. did Britain really cause problems all over the world ? ...

3. ... & do we have to bail out Portugal as a penance ?

4. shall we all boo the Tory on the subject of the NHS ?

Wildcard: if Britain isn't allowed to go round the world causing trouble, why was Cameron toadying to Pakistan ?

hatfield girl said...

What can be done to stop Marks and Spencers selling striped clothes to fat women?

If a degree costs £60,000 should most jobs (as opposed to minds) no longer require one?

While sleazy Italian politicians do bunga bunga, what do English sleazy politicians do?

Will PIIGS fly or will the Euro crash?

When will the Bank of England raise the interest rate?

Botogol said...

- what's wrong with giving young people intern experience for no pay?

- is the pause on NHS reforms an admission of defeat for government

- should we refuse help bail out Portugal?

- is Northern Ireland back on the brink?

- will the arts survice without govt money?

bonus point each time anyone mentions the Royal Wedding??

Philipa said...

AV - it's all womens fault and under AV they won't understand so won't vote?

Cuts - they're because of women.

Libya/war - we have to save the women.

Uni fees - we must charge because of all the women there.

Royal Wedding - pretty woman :-)

Social mobility/Willetts - blame women, the government does and is never wrong.

Steven_L said...

1) EU economy vs Osborne
2) Libya
3) NHS 'u turn'
4) Arts funding
5) Do women halt social mobility

Nick Drew said...

PS, as I recall, Portugal is our oldest ally - must count for something

(& our 2nd oldest is the Sultan of Oman who, my spies tell me, may also be needing our assistance shortly ...)

Steven_L said...

What kind of 'assistance' Nick? State visit or some Dubya-style 'freedom and democracy' a al Gadafi?


Bill Quango MP said...

Lets go.

Q1. - NHS reforms. Should Lansley resign? {bit harsh}
Winston not very sure its a good idea. He wonders why Cameron is doing it. So do I. Its political death. Hunt is backing party line. Bet Flint goes mental in a minute.
She's getting shouty already! And looks a bit surprised when told its in her own manifesto. But she never reads her own briefs, as we know.
I fully agree with the audience man who says 'its a massive project and Cameron probably doesn't have the political capital to invest in it.'
Swinson 'we're listening'.
Well informed audience. Is there a medical college in Oxford?
Callow is right. DC built 'new Tory' on leaving the health service alone. Leave it alone Dave. Its like the BBC. All you can do is restrict its growth unless you have a majority of Blair proportions.

Q2.Clegg cries. Turns into arts cut question. Callow says that most arts are run on a shoestring. I think he means alternative and gallery art. The trouble is Simon, the budget is spread too thin. Do we need feminist-scatological sculpture or whatever it is. Don't fund so much.
Hunt does ok defending his cuts.
Plenty of arts grads there.
Flint believes cuts are not a necessity. And talks utter crap to support that view, even contradicting herself. Flint gets big applause though.
See Dave? You're up against ideology not rationalism. Drop the NHS reforms.fix the schools instead.

Q3 - Portugal vindicates UK measures. Again audience disagrees.Flint uses that to explain why there is no need to cut. Hunt does ok again. Winston wisely points out we have devalued our economy. He's wrong about Labour growth-Tory retraction. Labour growth cost £50bn and was purely for an election.Swinson finally sounds convincing on something.

Q4 . AV question.
Should have guessed that with Winston on the panel.He's the face of 'No' I believe. Hardly an Eddie Izzard.Some of you did. Still, question sets the coalition against themselves.
Callow is for AV. Weird comment about twix and mars? Doesn't make sense to me.

Q5 - Social mobility interns/clegg {blames the Tories for some reason?}
Becomes a class question, which gets massive applause{odd in the most privileged part of the country}
Rambles into a tuition fees question. £9,000 fees comes up.

Q6. Camo concedes Britain responsible for everything.
Unprecedented 6th question!
Flint talks balls. Someone punch her out. Callow puts it better.
Except we get the blame. Sorry Pakistan!
At least Winston reminds everyone that our record was remarkably good. It was too! Possibly only USA had a better one, and even theirs was bloody and self serving.

Bill Quango MP said...


BQ- 3.5

Miss S-J: 2 + double points for clegg's tears = 3

Measured - 3.5 and .5 as minimum wage/degree did come up =4

Lilith - hello..where have you been? Compo is almost over!
one for cuts, one for arts, one for Portugal. {Ronaldo? gay? Wh'oud a thought it?} -3

Miss CD - 3 firm hits, and no disability benefits. - 3

Andrew: 3 + 1/2 as tuition fees {Oxford} made it in. Without any apparent privileged hypocrisy either. - 3.5

GSD. WOW: Spot on 4 + 1/2 for interest rates = 4.5

Malcolm Tucker: Another successful evening Malc. -3.5

Timbo 614 - 2.5 {what's that about stamps. They all come self adhesive now anyway.}

Appointmentotheboard - 4+ .5 for the definate no LIBYA. -4.5 {a pony on the national?}

Nick Drew: I'm shocked and stunned. -5 {even though one of them was the same question}

Hatfield Girl - Just 2.5.
You must post on here to remind us of Italy bunga, bunga.
For those that don't know HG has covered the ins & outs of Italian politics long before the MSM.
Any juicy pieces pop links into the comments please.

Botogol -4 {no royal wedding}
Its a high scoring night.

Philipa - 3.5 good hits -3.5
You should have joined in sooner! Never mind, almost time for a new season.
{can i hear the sound of an axe being sharpened? How's the job hunting going?}

CU -{good holiday? Did you see Dave on his way out?}
4 mega hits.

Steven_L - 3 {what is this women story? I must have missed it.}

ND: I dispute that oft repeated 'Portugal is our oldest ally.'
treaty of Windsor 1386, sure. But we fought them during the Armada and during war of Spanish succession and another few times I'm sure. Just because someone forgot to tear up the treaty each time we went to war doesn't mean they are our allies. Where were they in WW2? Lisbon Might have been quite handy as a U-boat hunting bomber base.


Winner is Nick Drew with an amazing 5 points, who must decide whether to bailout our sometime allies.

Philipa said...

Twix & Mars:

If I sent you to the shop and asked you to get a Mars but if they didn't have one asked you to get a Twix then that would be OK because I'd still have a chocolate bar.

ie. any MP is just as corrupt and a lying scumbag as any other - it doesn't matter who you vote for.

Said Jo Swinson?

Philipa said...

BQ - job hunting? Not good & also busy trying to get £5K to send my boy to boarding school. That not good either :-/

Love the point you made about Portugal.

Timbo614 said...

well, I though it was interesting :(

Modo said...

RE: Twix/Mars bar

29,653,638 people order their chocolate of choice. A Mars bar may be your first choice… but not others. However if after the trip down the shop nobody wanted a Mars bar as much as you did, then a another attempt is made at purchasing what might be everyone’s second choice, (you might have chosen a Twix). However once again nobody wanted a Twix, so this process continues until a chocolate bar is wanted by 50% of the people who now have very low blood sugar levels… upon which you get a finger of fudge.

Nick Drew said...

OK. Under the terms of the Treaty of Unslicker 2011:

1) HMS Quango to sail up the Tagus and deliver 4 billion Mars Bars and a consignment of Wellington Boots;

2) Grateful Portuguese children to recite The Lines of Torres Vedras under the baton of St Simon of Callow;

3) No Portuguese citizen to be permitted to attempt the pronunciation of 'Jeremy Hunt' in a public place;

4) Caroline Flint to be stood atop a vat of 1977 Offley Boa Vista in Parliament Square and slapped down by Lord Dimbleby of Bore with a wedge of €500 notes;

5) Both nations to confer maximum points on the other in the Eurovision Song Contest in perpetuity;

6) In recognition of lack of enthusiasm in WW2, Portugal to cede Madeira and the Azores:

7) Have a nice weekend.

Dick the Prick said...

Ah, bollox.

Bill Quango MP said...

Seems i was a bit hasty to do down our comrades in arms the Portuguese.

Treaty was activated again during the Second World War 1943, when it was fully reactivated... Britain, after 3 months' negotiations, was accorded aerodrome and nautcial facilities in the Portuguese Azores to help combat the U-boat threat.

So, they did help. A bit late as even Brazil had joined the Allies a year earlier and U-boats were pretty much defeated by August 1943, but there were UK forces stationed in the Azores.

So go ahead with the Unslicker Treaty and bail 'em out.
After all, we bailed out Ireland and they didn't help us in WW2, despite their own survival depending on those same US convoys.

Nick Drew said...

the Liverpool Docks were out on strike at the height of the Battle of Britain, Bill, & they probably all still got their rations

we are such a forgiving nation

but sometimes it works - our leniency towards the Boers won us some doughty allies for the conflicts that followed