Thursday 17 January 2013

Question Time competition- To be or not to be {in europe} edition

David Dimbleby chairs Question Time from Lincoln.
On the panel are Conservative Party Chairman Grant 'Schnapps' Shapps MP; Shadow Energy Secretary Caroline 'useless' Flint MP; UKIP leader Nigel 'one note' Farage; Chairman of RLM Finsbury and founding Chairman of Business for New Europe, Roland 'new labour -but open to persuasion' Rudd; and Dr Mary 'Domum Regite Romani' Beard, Professor of Classics at the University of Cambridge.

Enter your guess for what you believe the audience will ask the panel. Maximum of 5 guesses allowed. Various special rules apply ;

rough scoring guide

bang on,as the script, right answer - 3 points
Close enough for government work, right answer -2 points
in the right ballpark - 1point
witty comments - 1 point
sole entrant to guess a question asked - 3 points
guessing a 'catchphrase/bandwagon/party message' spoken , accurately - 1point 
Only choosing 4 questions out of a possible 5, and only 4 are asked  - 1 point.
Posting first - 1 point
Predicting correct colour of Dimbleby's tie - 1 point {must guess before 9pm.}


Malcolm Tucker said...

He he 1 point to me!

Dimbletie will be EU blue with gold stars.

1. EU in/out. Businessman will say we can't be out. Liberals hypocrisy exposed again. Lots of rhetoric, little sense.

2. Algeria hostage. Should Britain send troops? Mali and France?

3. Single flat rate pensions. Work longer for less. Not much of an election slogan, is it?

4.Cuts to drinking in the navy. An end to the rum tot?

5. Should the government ban helicopters.

measured said...

Good evening Mr BQ. I hope it has been a good week for you.
1. Who’d pick all our Jersey potatoes if our population was capped? Grant will love this one.

2. Can Cameron say anything new tomorrow? …. a list of demands while Holland jumps on the bandwagon stating “only if is for all of us!” and Hollande shrieks “Never”.

Vince: “Well, it needs reforming ….but we mustn’t negotiate.”

I think Cameron is playing his hand well, but we’ll never get the referendum.

3. Osborne’s hand is a poor one, but he is useless at cross ruffing. Cut the tape. The debt is now going up and no jobs were created. Has he played it too safe? Closure of HMV (at last) and not to be forgotten by the buyers, Blockbuster.

4. Should you negotiate with terrorists or your spouse? I suggest not, as it makes sex and murder a form of currency. Best stick to pleasure. The French, eh? “Avons nous un UN resolution? Mais non!” Best we do not criticise the French; they have the aircraft carrier.

5. Something whacky. Who the hell understand these pensions? Just avoid cranes. Go on, tell it like it is, Nigel.
Red swirls.

Timbo614 said...

We start the evening With an Italain accent:

1) 'ey! Wait! Rose & Saint Bury, stop 'orsing around, Tesco as been 'oarding aldi burgers and asda 'as di my Lidl Pony on di SPECIAL OFFER!

What new herd of laws should the government bring in to stop horses getting in our (well not mine, maybe your) "beef" burgers.

2) New Blockbuster released! Comet caught on camera by nipper, Jes' up and get on with it Said Jay Jay the Bee.

Retail demises, Where are the new jobs coming from?

3) Cameron Speech and Europe [Sing] "don't give up on us Davey![Stop Singing]

Precis: Dave: "It's just not cricket chaps, we need to save a bit, 'Cash-flow problem', you understand, what, what?" EU: "Stuff it Dave, no cheap seats at the top table here, what do you want to do? Let riff-raff have a go[Waves vaguely east and south]?" Dave: "Oh, OK, I see, yes, Bugger, Well you win then, Good game boys, It's not the winning it's the taking part. Sorry for the fuss and all that. Here's my Personal cheque to settle"[HA hA]

4) [Sing christmassy like] "Snow is falling, all around us, Trains are stalling, Roads are 'fun'. "[stop now]
Is the country ready for the Snow?

5) [Back to italian] 'ey 'u keepa outta here[waves vaguely east and south] or: Possible new immigration tsunami. Can we actually afford any more? [No says Timbo]

Dimbys Tie will have at least two of the colours of the rainbow in it, I'm relying on wit this week, even tho' it didn't work last week!

Bill Quango MP said...

Dimby necktie - A maroon and orange monstrosity.

1. EU question. In-out and the problem with Dave's back {benchers}

2. Some idiocy about helicopters. Someone on R5 seriously suggested banning all flights over the city.
- i expect the angle will be about fire station closures and ambulance cutbacks.

3. Horsing about. EU rules say all meat must soon contain horsemeat.

4. Pensions. the cuts to existing and public sector pensions. Small increase to some,.

5. Algeria and Mali and 'should we get involved'.

Botogol said...

OK , just left work so quickly on the dumbletie to beat the 9pm curfew .. Golden yellow
questions follow

Hopper said...

Dimbletie: Lincolnshire green

1. Bankers' bonuses - why is the government not taxing them away?
2. Flat rate state pension, what about those that don't qualify?
3. Mali/Algeria: should we get involved, given what a bang-up job the Frogs are doing?
4. Is the PCS justified in striking given the cutz-n-all?
5. Would you eat a horseburger?

GSD said...

Hi all.

1) Dave C's speech: will it quiet his rebellious troops?

2) Will the consequences for Algerian intervention escalate?

3) Romanian/Bulgarian hordes: labour admit to getting it wrong - can the ConDems do any better?

4) HMV & Blockbusters in one week who's next?

5) Lance Armstrong - the tip of the iceberg?

and Dimbletie = green.

measured said...

Grant has tweeted the q topics. Doesn't he know about this? Tsk.

Botogol said...

Should a Euro referendum be held next parliament .. Or this one

Is it time to concede that the high street is simply a dead loss

Given the whole population of bulgaria and romania seem to headed here, should we extend the ban on them entering uk

Are the gangs of men preying on our young girls a cultural phenomenon or just regular crime

Has the royal family got too much influence on legislation

Sayings of the week
I tried a beefburger but it gave me the trots

Nick Drew said...

seems a bit obvious this week (famous last words)

1. Is Dave a captive of the lEUny right?
2. Should we be sending help to Algeria / Mali etc - or something a bit stronger, even? (and what does this say about security of energy supply ??)
3. Would the panel eat horse-flesh? (we know the answer - yes! unless strict veggies)
4. to squeeze in a helicopter ... surely it's indefensible to be cutting numbers of fireman / fire stations / coppers / [fill in favourite sacred cow here]

Bill Quango MP said...

Question 1. Lincoln has seen JJB, Blockbuster, Jessops and now HMV fall victim. Is the Internet killing the high street?

CF says we need a better way to sort retail and manages to make some good points. Good twitter too -"Nobody takes pleasure from the depletion of the high street but i don't miss paying £15+ for a CD"

Q2: Can public services cope with yet another influx of migrants when we open our doors to Bulgaria and Romania next year?

Over to you Nigel..

Mary Beard is utterly misguided on immigration. She says it has only been a benefit. That is not the case. She ignores many facts. An agricultural worker's tax paid, including VAT and everything else, will never pay for a UK citizen to sit at home. That is not the fault of the Pole. But it is still a fact.

Bill Quango MP said...

Q3: Norway and Switzerland have thrived outside of the EU but still have strong EU trading links. Should UK follow suit?

Cameron has cut his big speech. So ..repeat this question next week.

Q4: In these times of austerity, should we consider introducing horsemeat as a cheaper alternative to beef.

predictable ?

Q: Is Mali in danger of becoming the next Afghanistan and should the UK get involved at any level?

The Dimbletie was a blue and black , i think, fish pattern.

Bill Quango MP said...

Malcolm Tucker closest on the Dimby tie -

MT - 5

Measured - good - 7

Timbo 614 - Bene - Otto punti per voi!

BQ - 6

Hopper 4 +1 for the lincolnshire green - he should have. = 5

GSD - 8 good ones

Measured! By Gove! The man's a menace. No one look.

Botogol - 7 +1 for the trots = 8

ND - 7

DTP - 5

All high scores. An obvious one this week. Harry Cole was the BBC extra guest, the cheeky chappie.

Winners for 8
Botogol, GSD and Timbo

Between you please discover why Mary Beard, who is a serious intellectual and knows more than the rest of the QT panel put together, could only argue from a very comfortable, snug wooly liberal comfort zone.

It was quite sad. She could have been anyone of a dozen Indy/guardian/BBC writers. She was much better last time she was on.

Kynon said...

Last week's early peak followed by a DNS - serves me right for not being anywhere near the internet after COB yesterday...

Bill Quango MP said...

Kynon: you always score one, just for showing up - 1.

In case the leader board makes a comeback.

Blue Eyes said...

"Someone on R5 seriously suggested banning all flights over the city"

I think her name is Kate Hoey MP.

Bill Quango MP said...

BE - I think you are right. And I think this is the first air incident in the city of any sort in 50 years.

By her logic all supermarkets must be closed to protect us from horse burgers.

Blue Eyes said...

She is my MP. Sound on a small number things, an absolute idiot on others. I saw the question she'd asked at PMQs and nearly sent her an email asking whether by the same logic she would be pressing for cars to be banned inside the M25. Given that she proudly drives a Mini around London...

Jan said...

I din't see QT but sadly Mary Beard is stuck in a 70s time warp having been closeted away in acadaemia. She is a hippy at heart (evidenced by her long hair) all peace and love and liberalism. It's a shame but the real world isn't like that.

Demetrius said...

Why was a British town named after an American President?

Kynon said...

BQ - You are too kind, sir.

measured said...

Where is the leader board, BQ? Don't sell it off in the Closing Down Sale.

Demetrius, give up.

Timbo614 said...

The leader board is probably tricky late at night... So as us techies have all this type of thing easily sorted, me enjoying the compo and being a helpful chappie:

After Week 2:

Botogol 13
GSD 13
Measured 12
Timbo614 12
BQ(MP) 9
DtP 9
kynon 9
ND 9
Malcolm Tucker 8
Hopper 7
Blue Eyes 4
Budgie 4

Botogol said...

I'm back !

Bill Quango MP said...

I see the league table has been forced back into existence.

Now I know how Dave feels about all of us Backbenchers!

Thankyou Timbo - Congrats to Bot and GSD. Will post on next QT.

And thanks Jan - Mary Beard.she was as predictable for the left as Farage was for the right. But one doesn't expect much more from Nigel.

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