A man finally recieved a CT scan today after waiting in bandages for 5,000 years. A member of his family complained: "they said we were going to be treated like royalty - but we are the ones that have been doing the waiting. The same thing happened to my Mummy".
Responding, a spokesman for the Luxor NHS Trust said: "the fact that we are funded by one of Gordon Brown's complicated PFI arrangements has nothing to do with this regrettable delay. It's not a pyramid scheme, you know."
He went on: "the family claim he caught MRSA, but we say it was his lifestyle that did for him. He was on 40 Camels a day."