Tuesday 20 May 2014

New NHS Shock: Man Waits 5,000 Years For Scan

A man finally recieved a CT scan today after waiting in bandages for 5,000 years.  A member of his family complained:  "they said we were going to be treated like royalty - but we are the ones that have been doing the waiting.  The same thing happened to my Mummy".

In Denial

Responding, a spokesman for the Luxor NHS Trust said: "the fact that we are funded by one of Gordon Brown's complicated PFI arrangements has nothing to do with this regrettable delay.  It's not a pyramid scheme, you know."

Dodgy Giza

He went on: "the family claim he caught MRSA, but we say it was his lifestyle that did for him.  He was on 40 Camels a day."


Electro-Kevin said...

Is this the one they found near Tootin' Common ?

Nick Drew said...

I sphinx so

he'd been shooting up with Cleopatra's needle

Bill Quango MP said...

Sounds like a Pharaoh Tale to me.

Sandy Bottom said...

has the Egyptian NHS been in deNile all these years too?

Electro-Kevin said...

When asked what he thought had caused the death the A&E consultant at St George's said "Sore cough, I guess."

Cleopatra had contaminated her needle with the disease she'd contracted from the local Dub DJ, Artie Fax.

Nick Drew said...

Artie Fax ? I heard it was Archie Ologist

Nefertiti said...

...Bird , bird, snake. Big eye.Owl-foot Teacup..man walking like Egyptian..crocodile

Kynon said...

I dunno, I'm finding these puns a bit dry.

Someone must have been delta bad hand.

Nick Drew said...

don't desert us now, Kynon

all I can say to Nefertiti is: eye, bird, queen with splendid boobs, bird, snake, eye!

Timbo614 said...

when eventually offered the scan he said "I'm a bit tied up at the moment."!

A doctor commented - "No Hieroglyph Specialist" was available.

Electro-Kevin said...

During the scan it was ascertained that the 'mummy' was indeed a mummy.

The scanner has since been renamed the Womb Radar. (Tomb Rader)