Saturday 3 December 2016

Reasons for Brexit: No.94

No votes for oiks
From my extremely chilly vantage point in the Netherlands (near the coast, wind from straight across the North Sea), I am much warmed to read this ingenious new reason for the Brexit result:

- schools in the north of England are such crap, it causes Northerners to vote that way!

So says Sir Michael Wilshaw, head of OFSTED: and he should know.  If only they weren't all so damnably ignorant, they'd have seen the light.  OK, it's a tiny bit more nuanced than that ... but you can see the way this one is going when Will Hutton and Polly Toynbee get hold of it - and not before time.  Three B's at A-level before you get the vote!  And at least one of them to be in either Media Studies or Applied Marxist Economics.

Public schoolboys to get three votes, if you ask me.

Preparing the young gentlemen for their public responsibilities


Blue Eyes said...

Democracy rocks until the people stop blindly following our lead. I am sick to the back teeth with the smuggery in certain places.

Sadly we don't seem to be hearing much about the potential benefits. Why aren't more prominent voices speaking up?

E-K said...

They are speaking out Blue. Remain have control of most of the broadcast media and it's

andrew said...


you may have identified the reason so many have lost respect for the broadcast media

Steven_L said...

I had my edukashun in the north east. Tis true they did a bad job teaching us to have acceptable, 'progressive' opinions. When we're down south, we northerners just have to bite our tongues, hide our true selves behind a politically correct facade and try not to let on what kind of knobs we really are.

I was really surprised when the posh southern folk let us thick northern cretins have a vote on whether we wanted to be ruled by Helmut Krout and Jean-Pierre Frog, and keep our borders open so jonny foreigner could come and stay.

Anonymous said...

Well now, ah was edumacated in those parts of the yoo-kay we like to call the North West. Now with joggfree and those compass things being the devils work, can't say I'm sure what that means now, but it sure sounds fine.

But those fine folks from down London way, they used to love coming us and seeing where cotton once was made. And fine folk they are, open minded. So open minded we figgered their brains just done fell out. London sposed to be paved in gold, me? Figger it paved with those fine folks brains, like turds in the rain.

Now they all up in arms, gave us this thing called a vote about some place called Yurp. Never been to Yurp, me and the fellas had a laff, as it sounds kinda like burp. Now sounding like that, can't say I wanted to be in it, sounds all kinds of unhygenik, so we all took our flat caps and whippets and we went and said so.

Those fine folk call us all unedumacated, and told what to say by some fella named Murdock. Can't say I know no Murdock. But seem t'me, if bein in this here Yurp was so good, well now, they'd have given us some proper fine edumacatin like those fine folks do have, but guess they had more important fine folk things to be doing and those in these here hinterlands, why we'd nary piss t'lick off no nettle.

Like ah said. Brains done fell out, and they be too good t'be common, otherways they'd have done damn common sense.

Love to see me some London, all those brains must be some sight. Turds in the rain, turds in the rain.

James Higham said...

Imagine Polly Toynbee as PM. Actually, I can't.

Demetrius said...

So which Form would the lady have been placed in? The Remove?

Bill Quango MP said...

that be reet good anon.

E-K said...

Git 'non on d'teem purdy durn kwick !

Suff said...

Annon eggsaktly. I no what thi meens told lad. Bitween shifts ar used to stair into mi tea and dream of getting mi sen to David Bekum akudumy for niceness and lurnin mi sen one them their diplomas in " compleetli useless sh1te". Like what the toffs av. Then ah cuduv walked away from this machinin job in exotic alloys and started mi sen a career in one of them lattey cafs, where thi drinks propa coffi and talks interlektual like. Hu nows, if ad Ossed mi sen, ah cuduv even bin customer facin in McDonald's. But it's all watta unda bridge and what do I know, big thick norvern monki. Ah noes mi place.
Seriously though, in this time of safe rooms and the assault on the freedom of speech, so as not to offend the bed wetters, who do these w@$&rs think they are, calling anybody without a degree ignorant. These old uneducated people, have a wealth of accumulated knowledge (learning by doing as they call it now) that is rapidly being assigned to the wastebasket of old folks bingo.
In every other society and culture, the old are revered as the wise elders but not ours.
Orwell nailed it when he said the first thing was to brake the family bond and turn the young against the old.
On a happier note. Well Done England. Inspiring. Eddie Jones for PM

Suff said...

Oh and ND. My heart bleeds for ye. Sounds like T-shirt weather from my Swedish Vantage point. Soft southern........:-)

Nick Drew said...

Passing straight to your sound point, Suff - yes, Jones is a fine fellow indeed

on the subject of Generation Wuss, you gotta love the idea of an Oxford college appointing a "Class Liberation Office"

(though there must be a lingering suspicion it is a callous patrician joke ...)

Electro-Kevin said...

Been up to see E-K Snr for a few days. He's in the most pitiful state and keeps getting visits from different nurses who fail to read his notes. They walk in and always say the same thing in a sing song voice "What on earth have you been up to !" (he in plaster)

He has to inform them that he hasn't been up to anything "It's prostate bone cancer." The assumption is he's 90, senile and not 76 and more astute than he's ever been.

He's the male version of Catherine Tate's 'gran' and all the care assistants love him - there is one district nurse who can't stand him but no-one likes her anyway.

His sense of humour knows no bounds. Grandson phoned him today and asked how he was doing, "Apart from being down to one arm, one eye and shitting the bed fantastic !"

A pair of carers visited this morning and one was wearing a face mask because she has a cold and didn't want to infect him, "For fuck's sakes, don't wear that leaving the house or the neighbours will think I've got Ebola !"

I don't know how he does it. I'm so proud.

Nick Drew said...


You have every reason to be proud, Kev

Electro-Kevin said...

Thanks for the idea. I shall put that in the eulogy.

Suff said...

Reason No.95
Italy is rocking