Wednesday, 18 July 2018

The life cycle of the Mayfly

 Image result for bbc mayfly

BBc 4

This is a change to the scheduled bbc programme - Cliff Richard and his Young Ones.

David Attenborough presents
The Blue Party Planet
Season 3. Episode 2. 


The Mayfly.

Thought to be descended from the Dragonfly, {Margretis Thatchae}The Mayfly is a primitive, aquatic insect, which means it is dripping wet. 
In larvae state, the nymph, unlike its adult self, can survive, for many years. 
 A nymph Mayfly is found in political ponds resting just below the surface. Only eyes showing. In this state a nymph, or neophyte mayfly can stay submerged and unnoticed, and can even operate a major government department for many, many years, without drawing dangerous attention to itself.

The second moult, before political maturity, of the Mayfly, is when it forms its wings. Though not able to reproduce its ideas at this stage, the HomusSecretarius, also known as Catus Pedibus, emerges ever so slightly from the water and skims just above it. Buzzing quietly, and ineffectively.  It’s long, thin, grey body, can glide further, through neighbouring wheat fields.

 The final stage, and the shortest, in the political life-cycle of the Mayfly, is the Headhoncho.
{Caesar Maximus}

The adult Mayfly whizzes onto the political scene. Buzzing furiously and energetically the Mayfly roams further still. Always heading leftwards, the cautious Mayfly, aided by gusts of social democracy,  makes a great deal of noise and can be heard, coughing and spluttering from a considerable distance.
 The odd looking insect is an easy meal for predators. Which are any creature that isn't a Mayfly.
Remainers. Brexiteers. Socialists. Liberals. Kippers. Trumps. Europeans. Russians. Plastic straws and sugar in cans, can all disable a Mayfly with ease.

Adult Mayflies typically gestate their political ideas, in total secrecy, for an insanely long period of time. Often eighteen months or more.
Once an idea is ready for release, the female Mayfly emerges from her hiding place under the Robbins desk and buzzes furiously, to little effect. These ideas burst upon the media, in a bright and unexpected cloud. The Mayfly then optimistically drones from television stations to radio shows, right across the political pond.
She flies in ever decreasing circles. Flapping madly to prevent herself crashing down to the earth.

 95% of a mature, adult Mayfly's political energy, is spent simply keeping the insect aloft.

The Prime Mayfly, ( Greek - Therízō Maybae ) creates the shortest lived policies and plans in the entire political kingdom. Although giving the appearance of a strong and stable beast, the Mayfly is in fact very weak and unstable. And has a similar survival expectancy as someone using Eau de Novichok Pafrum.


The average Prime Mayflies proposals, be they dementia taxation. Grammar school expansion. Or the Brexit, Chequers, Merkel-said-it's-fine-non-agreement, don’t live past twenty four hours of parliamentary scrutiny.


The eternal question, asked since ancient times, 

“What is the point of the Mayfly?” 

Remains unanswered.


12 comments:

dearieme said...

She thinks she's a Corbynharvester but she's only a mayfly.

john cheshire said...

Which is the most effective method to eradicate the Mayfly:
- those ultraviolet electric zappers
- sticky paper hanging in every room
- DDT
- The good old swatter

Or a combination of them all? However it's done, I wish the Conservative party would get it over and done with. And extirpate all the collectivists in the hive too, to minimise the possibility of another Queen Mayfly rising to fill the void.

Raedwald said...

Superb! That's another pint I owe you, Bill

Electro-Kevin said...

You forgot to mention this predator of the Mayfly.

youtube.com/watch?v=2yvoRtHSQ4Y

Jim said...

Very drole but falls into the 'if only we had a strong leader' trap.

Who out of the bunch in Parliament could make Brexit come good? Boris is a hand-waving nothing, Rees-Mogg similar. Strong leadership is not the requirement and neither is genius intellect because 2+2 never equals 5 however hard you try. The project does not add up, its a dead duck.

No sensible person wants to take over from May because any sensible person can see the job is not worth the candle. She is lumbered with making the least harmful Brexit she can. The loony fringe yell at her but dare not depose her because they know in their hearts they are the loony fringe and everyone else (including the banks) knows it too.

No-one can make Brexit come good, it's a turd that can never be polished, flush it down the pan where it belongs.

E-K said...

Turns out from the referendum that they are not a fringe.

Only so in the sense of being in a disconnected establishment.

Democracy in crisis.

Defiance of the referendum = abolition of UK government

Flush flush flush away !

Anonymous said...

If Brexit is off, all politics is deranged, and as Churchill put it post-Munich about our democracy*

"Thou art weighed in the balance and found wanting"


* some idiot bought me the Robert Harris book - don't bother, not one of his best, probably not helped by knowing the history pretty well already.

Anonymous said...

Collecting taxes on behalf of another country/EU is the most ridiculous idea I can think of.

If it all hinges on N. Ireland then tough.........we're leaving. What's wrong with a "hard" border anyway? The Irish Republic is a separate country.

Bill Quango MP said...

A lesson learned early as retail consultant was,
"If you don't think the client is going to like the answer, then don't ask the question."

Cameron thought he would win a referendum quite easily.
And we also thought he would win. Though not quite so easily.

By all accounts it was Osborne,his most trusted of lieutenants, who begged Dave not to call a referendum. But he was overruled.
And a vote was had. And the government, and the opposition, and the SNP and the Liberals and all the other parties, bar UKIP,lost.

if you don't like the answer, don't ask the question.

Electro-Kevin said...

Now they're desperately trying to change the question retrospectively.

"Ah. What does Leave actually mean ?"

Now I'm wishing they hadn't asked it but from the minute they did it was clear that we were going to become a vassal state whatever the answer.

Had the result been Remain we would have been going full steam ahead into the EU - probably in the Euro too by now.

Raedwald said...

There's still a great deal of Brexit hysteria about, not least from that raddled old drama queen Varadker, (C@W passim). Simon Jenkins is a saner voice;

"In reality, everyone knowledgeable about Brexit agrees on what will really happen if there is no deal in March. Nothing will change. Planes will keep flying. Ferries will keep loading. Channel Tunnel officials will wave vehicles through. Orders will go out to keep moving, and await further instructions. People at the coalface of the European economy cannot afford the posturing, vanity and idiocy of the Brexit parliament this past week. They have lives to live and mouths to feed."

Anonymous said...

Now Theresa May has "taken over" Brexit negotiations, with Olly Rasputin at her side to ensure that she does not stray from the path.

The smell of betrayal is getting stronger.