* * * * *
Ma chère Thérèse, it is with the greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to sit up straight, listen carefully, just have a little look at this document you’re going to sign … as the federasts proudly present – your stuffing!
Be my guest, Manu’s guest
Put our *friendship* to the test
Tie this noose around your neck, cherie, and dance at our behest
40 billion? Not enough!
Why, we only live to stuff
Read clause 20, it’s a stonker
Don't believe me? Ask old Juncker!
Market access? - not a chance
After all, Miss, this is France
And it’s preordained you’ll come off second best
Go on - unfold your menu
Just take a glance and then you'll
Be depressed – suicidally depressed
On the floor, as you kneel,
Start to beg, start to squeal
We'll prepare and serve with flair
An horrific exit deal
You're alone, and you're scared
But your fate is all prepared
That is Selmayr you hear laughing
As he contemplates your shafting
We tell jokes, slap our thighs
We can scarce believe our eyes
As we watch you in your Whitehall vipers’ nest
You will have to bend right over
If we’re not to blockade Dover -
Just do what Olly tells you, he knows best!
We all guessed your request
Would leave Europe unimpressed
From Madrid to Rome and Paris,
From Berlin to Budapest -
“She’ll want trade, she’ll want terms
But it’s just a can of worms”
While we’re giving her a shoeing
Back in Britain trouble’s brewing
Getting warm, getting hot
Heaven's sakes! She’s in a spot -
Much more, she’ll have a cardiac arrest!
We've still got a lot to do,
In the coming day or two
She’s hard-pressed, she’s distressed
Her red lines are just a jest -
She’s my guest, she's my guest, she's my guest!
Be my guest, be my guest!
Were you hoping for beau geste?
When you meekly signed the Hinkley deal
You’d clearly failed the test
You’d no cool, you’d no verve
You had plainly lost your nerve
Martin’s really just a sweetie -
Let him help you with this treaty
Clause by clause, one by one
'Til you shout, “Enough, I'm done”
But there’ll be no ducking out, or break for rest
Only after you’ve been beat up
Will we let you put your feet up
Don’t protest - be my guest, be my guest!
ND © 2018