Saturday 15 June 2019

Rory is Magic!

Image result for magic fats
Rory Stewart dreams of being a real boy.

  After his surprise endorsement from the Daily Telegraph, hopeful for the Tory leadership race, Rory Stewart, has had to defend himself from criticism that he isn't actually a Tory at all.

Stewart's personal manifesto, promising a Rainbow Unicorn alternative ecological-pure thought parliament. Free, class A drugs, for students and former army officers. And replacing voting with throat chanting for candidates has attracted rave support from hippies and freaks and weirdos.

Rory, the slightly oddball looking, barefoot, Himalayan wanderer, has been likened to France's President Macron. Mostly by other Macron supporting globalists. 

But has also attracted some criticism from people who say he is not a true Tory.

"Look, I'm a real Tory, " Rory told the media. "It's just that some people, generally older, whiter, richer people, find the idea of a true patriotic Tory, being willing to bring down his own government and install Jeremy Corbyn in Downing Street, a bit difficult to come to terms with."

Senior Tories have hinted that wet fish Rory is more of a Liberal Democrat than a Conservative. Mainly due to his stance on ecological and social issues and that he keeps saying "I'm a Liberal." 
Some have even suggested that Rory's surprisingly well funded leadership campaign, with a very credible, Facebook social media presence, is actually being run by Nick Clegg.

Image result for magic fats
Nick Clegg? I've never heard of him.

Rory responded by embarking on a flip-flop walking tour of the railway station car parks of England. Declaring "Look..Look at me..I can walk all by myself. There are no strings on me! Because I'm not that kind of puppet. I'm a totally different kind of puppet."


Anonymous said...

His constituents overwhelmingly voted Leave, but since when has that ever mattered?

PS - incoming, a pile of abuse for Corbyn because he (correctly) thinks the Iranians would be crackers to attack shipping in the Gulf - just as the Syrians would have been crazy to use nerve gas when they were winning comfortably.

Anonymous said...

The current rulers of Iran _are_ crackers, and Bashir Assad is an obsessive right-wing Fascist whose response to any questioning of his divine right to rule is to make the doubters suffer as much as possible.

As for Rory, the campaign to have him as leader of the Tories is a repeat of the campaign to have Corbyn as leader of Labour. Install a totally unelectable leader so that the enemy is crippled. A large number of entryists joined the Labour party to that end.

Don Cox

Anonymous said...

After Iraq, Libya and Syria I just don't believe our rulers (or 90% of what's in their media) any more.

And don't even get me started on Afghanistan, where we've been for nearly 18 years now - that's almost both World Wars plus the Napoleonic Wars.

It's a terrible indictment that Berlusconi's foreign policy was far better than David Cameron's.

E-K said...

... or a Trace ? Why not Kev & Trace duel premiership ? A sun strip with "Kev & Trace" on the Prime Ministerial car.

E-K said...

dual ???

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

He really is the fake alternative
with the fake poll counts
with the fake social media following
with the fake real world view
with the fake belief he offers the consensus of the con party
with the frankly deluded belief he offers the consensus of the country
Never before has deep state been so compelled to show its face in public than with this pathetic little weasel, it should really be a source of embarrassment to them.

Sackerson said...

@ E-K: where did he come from? His late father was the No. 2 in MI6.

Bill Quango MP said...

A Maybot may not injure the EU or, through inaction, allow the EU to come to harm.

A Maybot must obey orders given it by the EU, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A Maybot must protect its own parties existence, as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

I, Maybot.

Software and patch update for new model Maybot V.0.9



Anonymous said...

He isn't the right man for the moment, Brexit needs lancing so the nation can just on with things, deal or no deal. Any revocation or second referendum would be a terrible mistake with long consequences far worse than no deal. I mean, fucks sake, *Noel Gallagher* manages to sound better on the subject than our politicians. The only bigger condemnation of our political system would be his incrementally thicker brother doing the same.

With Stewart, I can warm to him on other subjects - economically conservative and socially liberal I'm fine with, and to pooh-pooh that would make the claims that the Conservative Party is a wide church as something of a lie. I suggest avoiding becoming the party of True Believers, as that's an ever decreasing circle, as Labour are currently finding out.

I'm willing to give him the time of day and hear him out. After Brexit. Not before.

The Iran thing, bit of a difficult one. I mean, yes, they could easily have done it, but any claims coming from the Trump administration should be taken with a mountain of salt. He makes the Clintons look like paragons of respectability and honesty, and right now the entire US governmental apparatus is tainted with that.

As for it making no sense for them to do it, given Trump's rhetoric, a reminder to the world that they can hold the straits hostage does make sense, especially if they go rescue the crew and announce "not us guv", *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*, "'ere, be terrible for a lot of economies if the oil price were to shoot up? Tsk, let's hope nuffink happens like that eh?".

James Higham said...

Lends himself to a horror film, with Beto as co-villain.

Nick Drew said...

one of our profound BTL commenters, Mr My*Name, reckons Rory is the only one who understands + can engage with the Celtic / Gaelic tendency, thus to reform and redefine the Union

(or should that be Mc*Name ...)

it's a view

Anonymous said...

ND, what do you make of the NYT revelation that the US have allegedly been attacking the Russian power supply network?

Nick Drew said...

Anon - "well what would you expect?" is what I'd make of it

I rather enjoyed ... Pentagon and intelligence officials described broad hesitation to go into detail with Mr. Trump about operations against Russia for concern over his reaction — and the possibility that he might countermand it or discuss it with foreign officials

the studiously-ignored elephant in that piece is China - not a single reference, which tells you an awful lot about how to interpret the article

incidentally, though I doubt it's nefarious I will be watching closely for informed news on the S.American blackouts fiasco

hovis said...

Anon 10.04: broadly agree ,but would veer away from suggesting Trump makes the Clintons look like paragons of respectability and honesty - their murder count to further their political ends is far far higher. Trump appears only to be corrupt (with the string whiff of neo-co puppet in the background), he doesnt however appear to have links to murderers blackmailers and paedophiles..

MyHeavyHeartedName said...

As many readers will have gathered, I'm getting great craic out of the (entirely correct) parallels between the Brexit movement and Irish Independence in the 1916-22 period.

Firstly, the vote by which old parties were destroyed and a new colossus - Sinn Fein - emerged. (In both cases this would not have happened at all if the erstwhile ruling empire had been flexible enough on a small number of issues)

Secondly the proposed secession of the northern part of the country and the imposition of an internal border. This too will pass. ;)

While I enjoy a little bit of shadenfreude as much as the next guy, I am not joking with these parallels and wise heads in the Brexit movement should refer to the British movements, positions and tactics in Ireland for clues to the current establishments likely actions.

As to Rory Stewart, for the Brexiteers, he is very dangerous.
More than that, I sense there is an absolutely ruthless character - the type of which has not been seen in government for many decades - behind that butter-wouldnt-melt facade.

Underestimate him at your peril.

He is, to mix periods of Irish history, a Cromwell;
He will utterly crush Brexit and its proponents and will spare no effort in doing so.
He is the establishment and will brook no interference in their interests.

You have been warned.

- Stewarts so far to the 'left' (on this issue) that he must surely drag Johnson to the centre..... and we'll be back to square one.
- As Anon 10:04 points out, theres a lot to like about Stewart but I'd be very wary of him at the same time.
- Anon 3:49 - points out that Corbyn will be used as a stalking horse to frighten the public into war with Iran - "If you dont agree with war, youre a Corbynite commie!"

- On Iran - Trump needs a war; theres an election in 18 months and hes behind in the polls.
- If Iran is attacked for a deal that the USA reneged on it will be an outrage. China will move overtly into the middle east adn Russia will turn the screw on Europe.
(China are supposedly already in the middle east. The 2006 Lebanon War resulted in a stalemate because - allegedly - Hezbollah were operating under the direction of Chinese officers). Come to think of it, the Saudis (British) are having the devils own time of it in Yemen trying to beat a load of herdsmen with AKs arent they? Wonder why?

- The only thing that could distract from Brexit now would be a major conflagration.....

- Whodathunk Elvis Costello would be the prophet who could bring all these disparate themes together? Altogether now....

"Hong Kong is up for grabs
London is full of Arabs
We could be in Palestine
Overrun by a Chinese line
With the boys from the Mersey and the Thames and the Tyne....

Oliver's army is here to stay
Oliver's army are on their way
And I would rather be anywhere else
But here today"

Anonymous said...

Why would Trump need a war?

Why would a nation that has been in serious wars , Vietnam sucking wars, for even longer now, than Vietnam, consider getting into another one.

Sure, they could. They already have a gulf of Tonkin incident.

But they won’t. Because there are no votes in unwinnable wars.and Iran, is an unwinnable war.

Anonymous said...

"The claims that the Conservative Party is a broad church are something of a lie..."

Indeed. The current Conservative Party in Parliament is more like a thieves kitchen. People who stood on one set of promises and then completely betrayed them once they had got themselves elected.

Many of those MPs will vote for Roderick (his real name, not his "deep cover") on the grounds that he is the Remain candidate, and will do everything he can to sabotage Brexit, as his Bilderberger masters have ordained. The more votes for him now, the stronger his obstructive following in the House, when it comes to a showdown in October.

Interesting times.