Friday 5 July 2019

Friday Humour: Trump Style

"In June of 1775, the Continental Congress created a unified army out of the revolutionary forces encamped around Boston and New York and named after the great George Washington, commander in chief. The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the [unclear], it [unclear] the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do. And at Fort McHenry, under “the rockets red glare,” it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant."
 Donald Trump, 4th July Speech 2019

Posted without comment with a humour tag. Maybe a small tear for his history teacher.

I really, really thought this was some made up Saturday Night Live comedy, apparently its the real deal. 


andrew said...

clearly, as they manned ramparts, they had built a wall

Raedwald said...

Amazing. Astonishing. Though I'm surprised he didn't mention the citizens of Boston cutting down the cherry tree before declaring 'we cannot tell a lie' at teatime. Or Betsy Ross flying a key on a kite during a lightning storm. Or John Paul Jones embroidering a flag whilst watching those 18th century aircraft lumbering around the sky.

Bless him. He means well. Four more years?

Don Cox said...

It's about 60 years since Trump was not paying attention to the history lessons at school, so the teacher is probably long gone.

Don Cox

decnine said...

The rockets' red glare incident took place in the War of 1812...

Scrobs. said...

Aaaaw, c'mon, CUS,

Anyone is going to be better than Billary or Barry!

I just Like President Trump, because he does what he wants, not what the idealistic, pompous, piddling, airy-fairy, unconstitutional, creepy, lying, sneering, devious, unpleasant, inable, feeble Democrats have. It's all written on the inside of their cots.

We need the US, and unlike most lefties, we have to have their support, even if we have to gulp a little!

Luckily, we have bbc failures like Jon Sopel and Kitty Katt over there so our case is so much stronger.

Old Wifie said...

Maybe, just maybe he did it on purpose to make everyone else crazy and drew attention to his speech?!!!!

Anonymous said...

Some has told him "History is written by victors" so he's having a go.

Expect more.

Jan said...

I reckon Michael has it about right! Trump is hilarious and a refreshing antidote to our PC masters.

Anonymous said...

Given Trump was reading off a teleprompter, it would have been a per-written speech unlikely written by Trump.

So either the original speech writer doesn't know history and got it wrong or Trump simply misspoke and meant to say ports.

I guess peoples confirmation bias will determine what they think happened.

Anonymous said...

As for Trumps grasp on history, I'm sure somewhere in his head Churchill is riding a cyborg T-Rex into battle, waving his lightsaber around, surrounded by Teenage Mutant Ninja Velociraptors.

Overhead the sky is grey as American and German Zeppelins zip at warp speed, firing lasers making 'pew-pew' noises.

Meanwhile, Rommel's Afrika Korpsa are surrounded by giant rats, in British uniforms and all speaking in cockney rhyming slang, doing space karate.

All of this in 1066, somewhere near Mason-Dixie line.

Thud said...

Anon, get back to the loving grip of the labour party.

dearieme said...

Donald J Nothillary is doing all that one could reasonably ask (except building a bloody wall): he is being Nothillary.

He has Nothillaried wars all over the shop. Rather than ducking and diving from non-existent Serbian snipers in the Balkans he has strolled into North Korea for a short meeting with Little Rocket Man.

What will he Nothillary next? Or, come to that, Notobama? I plead ignorance: is he still light-heartedly drone-murdering people in the way Obama did or has he given up that particular bit of savagery?

Anonymous said...

"Anonymous" thinks the word "classless" is an insult.

I think classism is as bad as racism, or worse. We should all try to be classless.

Marxism is a religion for classists, built on class prejudice and hatred. It seems to be rife in the current House of Commons.

Give me the classless Trump any day.

Don Cox

Anonymous said...

During the First American War, there were more colonists fighting for Britain than for the Continental Congress. The city of New York -- Trump's home town-- was Loyalist.

The main reason why the secessionist side won was because of the intervention on their side of the French, Spanish and Dutch empires -- motivated as they were by envy and resentment at the loss of their American territories to the British in the previous hundred years.

America did not become independent in 1776; that was merely the start of a traitorous insurgency which could and should have been put down. The legal independence of the USA dates from 4th September, 1783.

As for the line about "the rocket's red glare", it is quite correct to state that it dates from the Second American War, or "The War of 1812" as the Americans call it, although in fact the conflict went on until 1815. That war began with the Americans invading Canada, in an attempt to force Canada into their alien republic. Fortunately, they were decisively defeated, and the British burnt Washington in retaliation.

And as for "the flag still proudly flying", the Americans were so pig-ignorant that they did not even know that one is supposed to run a flag down at night-time. Their flag itself is based on the ensign of the British East India Company (popularly known as the Gridiron), with the stars placed in the corner where the Union Jack ought to be.

Perhaps I should be President.

Anonymous said...

@Thud - loathe the Labour party. Try again.

@Don Cox - I wasn't using it as an insult but as a descriptor.

Trump is a man, after all, who has magic bone spurs to avoid going to war, but felt the need to belittle an opponent over their service.

That's 'class' as in a sense of decency.

But you two keep on with your Jackie-style photo montages, and remember, we're in the 21st century so you need not feel ashamed over the feelings you get when you do.

John said...

Well said and correct. Thanks

Thud said...

ok anon I'll try again....get back to momentum.

E-K said...

An ignorant shock-jock is what you get when you remove Reaganism/Thatcherism from politics.

I'm loving Trump, btw. And he's proven to be the most peacenick of Presidents in all our lives.

Anonymous said...

Obama paid tribute in Memorial Day 2008 to all the Americans who'd given their lives for their country, and conjured up a disturbing image.

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes—and I see many of them in the audience here today—our sense of patriotism is particularly strong"

He also said his uncle had helped liberate Auschwitz, which came as news to the Red Army.

Apart from the Breitbarts of this world no major media picked it up. Had that been Bush or Trump it would have been on every BBC comedy show. It sure helps to have your guys holding the megaphone.