Friday, 21 December 2007

Friday Fun: Nigerian Style

I have been inundated with some real Christmas gifts this week. I need to think of appropriate responses to such generous offersand wondered if you could all oblige with your comments.....perhaps these are the offers that will make Mutley rich at last?


Dear Friend,

I am the manager of bill and exchange at the foreign remittance department of BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A) here in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of US$30m dollars (THIRTY Million US dollars) in an account that belongs to one of our foreigncustomer (MR. ANDREAS SCHRANNER from Munich, Germany) who died along with his entire family in Jully 2000 in a plane crash.

Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it, unless some body applies for the next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our bankingguidlings and laws but unfortunately we learnt that his next of kin died along with him in the plane crash.

The banker law and guidline here need a responsable person,and who the bank can introssted this treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

I agree that 30% of this money will be for you as a respect to the provision of a foriegn account , 10% will be set aside for expenses incurred during the business and 60% would be for me Thereafter, I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated Therefore, to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you arranged,you must apply first to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased indicating your bank name, your bank account number, your private telephone and fax number for easy and effective communication and location where in the money will be remitted.

Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or email the text of the application . I will not fail to bring to your notice this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer. You should

contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.

Yours Faithfully,

As if this one was not enough, shortly after I received this email too...


Let me introduce myself. My name is Mr. Williams Eke,
I am the auditing and accounting officer of Union Bank
Plc .I got your contact over the Internet in my search
for the relatives of one of our numerous customers who
died alongside with his family in an air crash. During
the routine check in my branch, I discovered an
abandoned sum of Twelve million Five hundred united
states dollars,(USD$12.5m). in an account belonging to
an expatriate customer Mr.Lynn Roy, a mining
consultant/contractor with one of the leading oil
company in Federal Republic of Nigera before his
accidental death on Saturday 4Th May 2002 in Nigeria
via the ill-fated EAS Airline crash.

Ever since then, valuable efforts have been made to
get to his people but to no avail, as he had no known
relatives and more so, he used his wife's name as his
next of kin in his account opening forms. I have been
expecting his relatives to come over to claim his
money as it cannot be claimed unless somebody applies
officially for it as his next of kin as indicated in
our banking guide but no avail. Unfortunately, I
discovered that his supposed next of kin (his wife and
children) died with him over the plane crash incident.

Over the years, I decided to look for the necessary
papers relating to the deposit in order to make
business out of it as the deposit was made in my
branch. Now that all papers are ready, I am asking for
your assistant to release the money to you as his
relation/next of kin for safekeeping andsubsequent
disbursement. I know that a transaction of this
magnitude will make any one apprehensive but I am
assuring you of the Security of us all as modalities
have been perfected for a swift and smooth operation.

You are being contacted because Since nobody showed up
for his money and I don't want it to go back into
Federal Republic Of Nigeria account as unclaimed bill
when the next audit is conducted. The banking law and
guideline here stipulates that such money if remain
unclaimed, will be transferred into banking treasury
as unclaimed effect. The request of a foreigner to act
as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the
fact that the customer was a foreigner and a citizen
of Federal Republic Of Nigeria cannot stand as next of
kin to a foreigner.
I am ready to negotiate the mode of sharing with you.
I will visit your country for the
disbursement/investing of my share according to the
percentages we shall agree upon after the successful
transfer of the money to your account. I will not fail
to bring to your notice that this transaction is 100%
hitch-free and that there is absolutely no risk in it,
having concluded.

the modalities for a smooth operation and my position
in the bankguaranteesits successful execution. All I
require is your honest co-operation, a guarantee of
your sincerity and capability to enable us conclude
this deal. Note however that the sensitivenature of
this transaction demands that you have to keep it
absolutely confidential.Please accept my apologies,
keep my confidence and disregard this letter ifyou do
not appreciate this proposition.

Thank you very much for your time.
Trusting to hear from you immediately,

Best regards,
Mr.Williams Eke


Unknown said...

If you have never looked at it, I recommend

some very good responses there.

CityUnslicker said...

well, I shall go look!

Richard Elliot said...

With Christmas bonuses down this year what a stroke of good luck! Might not be quite Goldman Sachs standards, but still worth having.......

CityUnslicker said...

...yesI may try this wheel of fortune!

If only I worked for a company that paid Christmas bonus'

Anonymous said...

To Cityunslicker, I have recieved your e-mail and am curious. Why and how it is you have come up with my e-mail. And I am yet liery... I guess I need to hear more and to know that you would come to my country in reguards to this is also abit more conforting.

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