Friday, 8 August 2008

Jeux Sans Braincells: Scargill vs Monbiot


It’s August. The whole of the BBC has gone to Beijing. The Silly Season is in full swing, hurrah ! And … Arthur Scargill returns to the energy fray, scene of his glorious proletarian victories of the 1980’s.

Piqued by George Moonbat’s declaration of everlasting war upon coal and newfound acceptance of nukes, Arthur wishes to offer a modest counter-proposal or two of his own:

(1) “Britain needs an integrated energy policy that will produce 250m tonnes of indigenous deep-mine clean coal per year - from which could be extracted all the electricity, oil, gas and petrochemicals that our people need".

Integrated, and balanced, too, don’t you feel ? And on the subject of balanced …

(2) “I challenge George Monbiot to test out which is the most dangerous fuel - coal or nuclear power. I am prepared to go into a room full of CO2 for two minutes, if he is prepared to go into a room full of radiation for two minutes".

Now this is tempting. I’m sure what Arthur was really volunteering for was a couple of minutes in a room full of carbon monoxide, and as a service to the Nation, doubtless George will oblige us by picking up the gauntlet. I feel also that others should be joining the challenge, by immersing themselves for two minutes in their own effluent: Alan Johnson in a vat of MRSA; Hilary Benn in agricultural slurry; bullshit also of course for several more of their Cabinet colleagues …

Sadly, and before we get carried away here, the Grauniad has consulted a potential umpire for this little bout of Jeux Sans Frontieres, the Health Protection Agency. Putting on their most disapproving faces, these worthies “would not sanction admission to either room.”

‘It's a hypothetical experiment on an emotive issue and it would never get approval on ethical grounds’ said a spokeswoman.”

Sanity prevails and we can all go back to watching the Olympics. Now there’s a real contest in a fog of CO2 ...


ND

PS, to judge from the photo, Scargill's previous encounters with CO2 gave him a nasty case of that unpleasant miners' complaint, toxicombova


8 comments:

Newmania said...

ha he he hoo hoo that was funny and that is very tempting. Private Eye had a thing about all the BBC staff in Bejing but the amount of them there for the football without any er.. English football team was an eye opener as well.
I think we are screwed and must immediately return to simple pastoral existence .
See how those bloody women feel about demanding their turn on the plough then shan`t we

Bill Quango MP said...

I have been meaning to mention it for a while.
If we switch to more coal power do we get more of Scargill and more "Who Governs"

Quite fancy a 3 day week myself. Put me down tuesday/ wednesday/ thursday.

Mark Wadsworth said...

Well, hooray for coal, say I. I don't care who's putting the argument, John Redwood or Arthur Scargill.

PS, Arthur Scargill did work as a miner for a while, I am sure that he knows the difference between CO2 and CO.

Nick Drew said...

and so do I ! and I know which is the more likely to be lethal in 2 minutes, too ...

dearieme said...

If Scargill was a miner, then he had spent many a shift in a room full of radiation; there's plenty of uranium and radium in coal. Ooooh, and mercury too.

Nick Drew said...

indeed, dearieme and I could tell a tale or two about the polonium in some North Sea gas as well ... and where it ends up

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