Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Giant Ponzi scheme uncovered at the heart of the UK

Shocked to the bone is all I can say, what a sad story to break over the Christmas period;

There has been a dark conspiracy at work in the UK for over 10 years that has finally succeeded into putting millions of our fellow citizens into penury. Worse still, this terrible crime has many facets, so even those who thought themselves clever enough to avoid the obvious deception have now been caught by the more refined versions. The basics of the scam go like this;

1. A mysterious body known only as 'The Treasury' started many years ago collecting monies from all her majesty's subjects, promising in return fantastic rewards like free world class schools, free world class health care, green power stations, magnetic trains and rocket cars. As these promises came to naught, they expanded them into the realms of complete fantasy.

2. To continue this con, the leader, known only as 'Mr Brown' decided to get some of the subjects onside. He invited them into a special club, known as the 'public sector' where pensions would be gold plated and they would be rewarded simply for encouraging membership the Scheme. Tomorrow's children would pay for today's rewards, an exact copy of the great original Ponzi ideology. To keep all in order, Mr Brown exponentially added to the numbers of these 'public servants.'

3. Despite the above, many subjects continued to prosper and were not considered by Brown to be contributing enough to his scheme; the scheme was running short of money and was predicted by many outsiders to be bankrupted within a few years.

4. To gain more control of the 'Private Sector', Brown ordered his front organisation, comically called 'The Bank of England' (in a copycat of Nigerian 419 scams), to keep interest rates low and artificially boost revenues to the scheme.

5. This then enabled a whole new part of the criminal genius of the plan to begin. The low interest rates caused a boom, private sector workers were encouraged to invest in 'shares'. These consisted of pieces of paper of no intrinsic value; The shares then 'crashed' in 2008 causing huge losses to the private sector.

6. Mr Brown was now able to step in, declare he had 'saved the world' and take over the remaining private UK banks. These were then forced to buy 'treasuries' from the Government and pay extra funds into the scheme in the forms of preference shares.

...but this is not over. Mr Brown is still at large and it is feared the last part of his scheme may still be to come. Allegedly, Brown is unhappy that some money still remains outside of the scheme. He plans a final assault on the Pound Sterling. This paper currency has been in circulation for hundreds of years and is an unsuspecting victim of the Scheme. Interest rates will again be dropped, a 'run on the pound' will lead to hyper-inflation and the remaining money outside of The Scheme will have become worthless. Everything and everyone will be subservient to Mr Brown.

Really, this complex, long-term plan makes Madoff look like a rank amateur.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've just seen the fellow on the telly! Is there a number I can call?
Also, I fear I may have been a victim of this scheme. What should i do. i worry i may have lost all the money i foolishly "Invested" in the economy.
It all sounded so good in 1997.. things can only get better. but I've just sat in a traffic jam at Cribb's Causeway for 3 hours. Where's the transport plan from 2001? Anyone would think none of it had been completed at all..
Oh woe! oh woe!

CityUnslicker said...

I want my mney back too. I was on holiday in the spring of 1997 and never agreed to any of this....

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Are those the same people who promised us a ' joined up public transport system ' 10 years ago?
So why can I still not buy a connecting coach ticket at a train station ? Petty but irritating.

Best stick with gold.

Henry North London said...

The NHS pension scheme is a Ponzi

Thing is I always understood this on a basic level and invested in bricks and mortar instead

Course I will be voting Libertarian come the next election lpuk.org

Anonymous said...

ROFLFAO

Anonymous said...

Marc Faber

Charon QC said...

Excellent.... no more needs to be said! Spot on!

Happy Christmas

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Masterful!

I just wish it was hyperbole, but of course, it isn't.

Anonymous said...

Chillingly accurate.

robin said...

It's about time the BBC broke this scoop to the nation.

Silvio Tanner said...

First Auntie Maud Must Break Wind

MORE GLOBULAR FINANCIAL FLATULENCE


ASTA

Anonymous said...

I like your website and your intelligence and sense of humour. You are bang on the button. I shall return.

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! I saw the picture of Madoff & assumed your article was about him. Unfortunately it's also 110% correct.....

Anonymous said...

robin said...
It's about time the BBC broke this scoop to the nation.


Sorry Robin, seems the BBC play their own part in defending "SuperBEAN"

BBC News is nothing more of a NULLABOUR totally-biased vehicle for our beloved PM.

Hope his eye pops out if he read this!

Gareth said...

On point 2: When the Icelandic banks blew up I had a look at a few council accounts. Spread across loads of local authorities there are billions of our pounds in managed pension funds for public sector workers.

I don't think this is quite fair - either it's all unfunded or it's all funded. This late in the game we clearly can't have the latter. By having state pensions totally unfunded and public sector pensions partially funded, some of our taxes go into managed funds rather than being spent on public services. Could this be part of the reason we seem to be getting poorer and poorer services?

If Ponzi Brown is so keen to nationalise things perhaps the public sector pension funds should have been one of the first.

Adrian P said...

Pretty much what I have blogged on.

Unplug yourself from the matrix

http://adrianpeirson.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!CB609AA4E892F479!121.entry

will said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.