Friday 13 February 2009

Those who are about to lie, salute you.

Those who are about to lie, salute you.

The older champion arrives, bloodied and scarred from a lifetime of in-fighting. His heavy sheaf of protective statistics held in front of his chest and turns his scarred visage across the Colosseum. He appears weary. But he is still the champion; still deadly. His younger opponent, fitter and faster has a lighter armour of wit and repartee, not weighed down with his past like the elder gladiator. He is twice as quick on his feet. But one clumsy blow from the heavy mailed clunking fist of "The Great One" could shatter his confidence and bring him down. The rough and tumble of debate, the tricky obstacles to a career, a path strewn with pitfalls, close-in hand to hand combat and verbal sparing. Bread and Circuses. Let the games commence.

This weekends task is to give Sky 1 type "Gladiator" names to the following people in this weeks news.

Gordon Brown
David Cameron
Nick Clegg
Vince Cable
Fred Goodwin
Jacqui Smith
Ed Balls
James Crosby
Boris Johnson
Sarah Tether

{ Here are some of the Sky Gladiator names as an example.
Warrior-Spartan-Doom-Goliath-Siren-Cyclone-Panther-Oblivion.. All a little bit gay nightclub. We're sure you can do better...}


Anonymous said...


That'll do.

Bill Quango MP said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Gordon Brown _ Dominus
David Cameron - Sensuous
Nick Clegg - Fencius
Vince Cable - Felicitus
Fred Goodwin - Chopulus
Jacqui Smith - shiftlus
Ed Balls - Pompous
James Crosby - Curious
Boris Johnson - Fuckulus
Sarah Tether - Pointlus

Dungeekin said...

Here are my suggestions:

Gordon Brown: Ditherus Economicus Disastrus

David Cameron: Bullingdus Ex Nastipartius

Nick Clegg: Invisibilus Nonentius

Vince Cable: Financius Tolduso

Fred Goodwin: Bonus Maximus

Jacqui Smith: Stalinia Incompetentus Cowardia

Ed Balls: Moronis Sowhatus Footinmouthus

James Crosby: Sackus Whistleblowerus

Boris Johnson: Oldetonium Sayfuckalot

Sarah Tether: Neverheardovya Libdemia


Nick Drew said...

I think we know the answer to this one.

Gordon Brown = Biggus Dickus, obviously

Boris = Naughtius Maximus

Ed Balls = Silius Soddus

In the circumstances, wor Jaqui will have to play both Mandy and Incontinentia Buttocks (refers to her out-of-control expense-claiming habits, I believe)

David Cameron = Nisus Wettus

Fred Goodwin = Harry the Haggler

Vince Cable = Gregory

Sarah Teather = Mrs Gregory

Clegg = Brian and also Reg

Crosby doesn't appear, he's Persona Non Grata

Anonymous said...

Gordon Brown - Pompey the Great
David Cameron - Julius Caesar
Nick Clegg - Clodius
Vince Cable - Cicero
Fred Goodwin - Crassus
Jacqui Smith - Servilia
Ed Balls - Brutus
James Crosby - Vercingetorix
Boris Johnson - Mark Anthony
Sarah Tether - Slave.

banned said...

Winner, IMHO, Dungeekin

Fred Goodwin: Bonus Maximus

Anonymous said...

Are you not entertained ?

Anonymous said...

My name is Maximus Economicus Disastrus, commander of the Banks of the North, General of the poorly equipped Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Karlus Marxus. Father to a debt ridden treasury, husband to a bankrupt country.
And I will never say I'm sorry, in this life or the next.

Mitch said...

Gordon Brown= rectus probulus

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