Friday, 13 March 2009

HMG Treasury in action

2 whisper stories to end the week on this week:

1. The newly minted state banks have meetings with their senior management every week now with Shriti Vadera (Minister for small business - I guess that is where the want the banks to go!) and a treasury team. These are not meetings the bankers' look forward too.

After the opening niceties it goes something along the lines of:

"How much F**cking money have you lent this week? Why aren't you lending more? What have you done about improving you capital ratios you f**cking imbeciles"

The shocked bankers sit and try to explain that the many contradictory orders cannot be followed. Surprisingly, they just get shouted down.

One week just after Christmas Lord Mandelson turned up. The meeting was more civilised. Mandy said I trust you all to do what you think is best, its is your business after all. He then said, of course there was another side to the deal and that '"from the moment I leave this room I am going to call you all C**ts to the media."



2. An Army General came to dinner with a friend and said he had had the top three MOD treasury mandarins down to see him during the week. They were doing the usual thing about budget cuts and overspend. When asked about what they future held they said they had no view at all of what would happen over the rest of 2009, but were sure that inflation would jump to over 6% in 2010 due to the monetary stimulus being injected into the economy.

17 comments:

dearieme said...

Are they men or are they mice? If a minister swears at you, you leave the meeting and explain your action to the press. "We thought we should give the minister a chance to compose herself" would do. Alpha males, my arse.

Gordon Brownout said...

The trouble is, if you've got them by the balls...

Steven_L said...

Exactly Gordon Brownout, they probably spend all their time in there selling her complex insurance and asset purchase schemes that no-one understands - and she's too embarrassed to admit she doesn't understand them either.

Steven_L said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CityUnslicker said...

Dearime - That is what new owners can do!

SL- great points, it seems obvious that there will be bug complex probelms to come from these schemes. The banks will find loopholes eventually...

not an economist said...

Re the inflation: What frustrates me is that the Govt will blame everyone else for the price inflation - unions, businesses.

Or ...

Gordon will say its a global problem and not specific to the UK and therefore not his fault. Just as he has done re the downturn. The fact that over the last few months he has claimed to be leading and saving the world will be quietly ignored and brushed under the carpet. Not least by the BBC.

I just hope people have the common sense to see him for the reckless, irrseponsible pratt that he is.

Houdini said...

It was bad before, but where are all these unelected and unaccountable people coming from? And what are there qualifications and experience to be telling the bankers what to do?

That's what worries me the most in the long term, and I suspect is what has caused half the current problem too.

Steven_L said...

Don't you know Houdini? Shriti "Darth" Vadera used to work at UBS and advised Gordon on 'city issues' between 1999 and when she was made a Baroness the other year.

Rumour has it the Major regime wouldn't give her a plush civil service number, so she turned to NuLab.

Nick Drew said...

Mandelson is a shocking bully, I have seen him in action at close quarters

grown men don't much like to acknowledge how effective raw bullying can be - not effective threats, just personal menace

but they bow the knee just the same

Blue Eyes said...

Only 6%?

not an economist said...

Classic bad cop, good cop routine. Obviously members of our beloved Labour Govt take their political inspiration from 1970's cops show "The Sweeney" ...

dearieme said...

The guys running the banks are rich as Croesus. One advantage of being rich is that even if you have the feeble instincts of the meekest of mice, you can afford to tell people that they can't swear at you. Gutless twats.

Anonymous said...

dearieme, what and suddenly be vilified in the press, have your company destroyed by government leaks and random changes in regulation? Or be hounded in the Court of Public Opinion? No wonder BARCL wants to stick two fingers up at the government.

Unsworth said...

Marvellous. I'd relish the opportunity to slap any one of them in the mouth. Such a shame that the bankers seem to be so weak.

But then maybe they're into the long game, eh? After all, it won't be that long before the current political loonies will be gone...

Tuscan Tony said...

Fascinating reading, and entirely believable.

look said...

aaaa片, 免費聊天, 咆哮小老鼠影片分享區, 金瓶梅影片, av女優王國, 78論壇, 女同聊天室, 熟女貼圖, 1069壞朋友論壇gay, 淫蕩少女總部, 日本情色派, 平水相逢, 黑澀會美眉無名, 網路小說免費看, 999東洋成人, 免費視訊聊天, 情色電影分享區, 9k躺伯虎聊天室, 傑克論壇, 日本女星杉本彩寫真, 自拍電影免費下載, a片論壇, 情色短片試看, 素人自拍寫真, 免費成人影音, 彩虹自拍, 小魔女貼影片, 自拍裸體寫真, 禿頭俱樂部, 環球av影音城, 學生色情聊天室, 視訊美女, 辣妹情色圖, 性感卡通美女圖片, 影音, 情色照片 做愛, hilive tv , 忘年之交聊天室, 制服美女, 性感辣妹, ut 女同聊天室, 淫蕩自拍, 處女貼圖貼片區, 聊天ukiss tw, 亞亞成人館, 777成人, 秋瓷炫裸體寫真, 淫蕩天使貼圖, 十八禁成人影音, 禁地論壇, 洪爺淫蕩自拍, 秘書自拍圖片,

做愛的漫畫圖片, 情色電影分享區, 做愛ㄉ影片, 丁字褲美女寫真, 色美眉, 自拍俱樂部首頁, 日本偷自拍圖片, 色情做愛影片, 情色貼圖區, 八國聯軍情色網, 免費線上a片, 淫蕩女孩自拍, 美國a片, 都都成人站, 色情自拍, 本土自拍照片, 熊貓貼圖區, 色情影片, 5278影片網, 脫星寫真圖片, 粉喵聊天室, 金瓶梅18, sex888影片分享區, 1007視訊, 雙贏論壇, 爆爆爽a片免費看, 天堂私服論壇, 情色電影下載, 成人短片, 麗的線上情色小遊戲, 情色動畫免費下載, 日本女優, 小說論壇, 777成人區, showlive影音聊天網, 聊天室尋夢園, 義大利女星寫真集, 韓國a片, 熟女人妻援交, 0204成人, 性感內衣模特兒, 影片, 情色卡通, 85cc免費影城85cc, 本土自拍照片, 成人漫畫區, 18禁, 情人節阿性,

uhfdf said...

情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 言情小說, 愛情小說, 色情A片, 情色論壇, 色情影片, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊美女, 視訊交友, ut聊天室, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, a片下載, av片, A漫, av dvd, av成人網, 聊天室, 成人論壇, 本土自拍, 自拍, A片, 愛情公寓, 情色, 舊情人, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 情色交友, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊, 情色電影, aio交友愛情館, 色情a片, 一夜情, 辣妹視訊, 視訊聊天室, 免費視訊聊天, 免費視訊, 視訊, 視訊美女, 美女視訊, 視訊交友, 視訊聊天, 免費視訊聊天室, 情人視訊網, 影音視訊聊天室, 視訊交友90739, 成人影片, 成人交友,

免費A片, 本土自拍, AV女優, 美女視訊, 情色交友, 免費AV, 色情網站, 辣妹視訊, 美女交友, 色情影片, 成人影片, 成人網站, A片,H漫, 18成人, 成人圖片, 成人漫畫, 情色網, 日本A片, 免費A片下載, 性愛, 成人交友, 嘟嘟成人網, 成人電影, 成人, 成人貼圖, 成人小說, 成人文章, 成人圖片區, 免費成人影片, 成人遊戲, 微風成人, 愛情公寓, 情色, 情色貼圖, 情色文學, 做愛, 色情聊天室, 色情小說, 一葉情貼圖片區, 情色小說, 色情, 寄情築園小遊戲, 色情遊戲, 情色視訊,