Friday, 24 April 2009

Bill Quango MP expenses revealed in the Daily Mail

Daily Mail
"The publication of MP's expenses is causing some embarrassment.
Whilst MP's may claim that all of these expenses are above board and necessary for carrying out the work of a backbench MP or a Multi-Quango holder and for the effective running a constituency office, some expenses seem to defy explanation.

We asked William Quango , the MP for Surreysex East, to explain some of the more unusual items he had claimed on his expense. we were met with the usual litany of "Above board - within the rules - approved by the parliamentary standards committee - It's complicated - Is standard practice - necessary for security reasons - similar levels of expenses to a leading banker or a pop star - Necessary for reasons of travel - Is normal practice in government -not requiring a receipt for MP's"

However a closer scrutiny left a few items demanding clarification
Here are just a few off the list

  • Remmington electric razor foil £12.95
  • Brazilian leg wax £18.45
  • Quicksilver swimming trunks £59.99
  • Cockerel and Hen Topiary £1,200
  • Car air-freshener {pine} £0.32
  • Bazuka Wartner £10.99
  • Jack Nicklaus 5 iron £185.00
  • Horse box £12,955
  • Picnic basket £233.00
  • Chinese meal for 12. Mr Tang's £455.00
  • 12v air horn/klaxon for boat £18.99
  • Valentine bouquet {Mrs Q} £12.99
  • Valentine bouquets and lingerie {Miss X} £556.99
  • Snickers £0.49
  • Timotei fragrant fresh £3.47
  • Swimming pool £28,760
  • Granny flat for parents £245,000
Mr Quango was unable to comment further on expense claims, or his poor attendance record at debates but he did confirm that he would definitely be attending the MP expenses debate in the commons next Thursday.

Daily Mail Reporter


Anonymous said...

You've forgotten the £35,700 trip to Haiti to examine the nutritional value of the mud pies they ate last year when prices were so high.

Why did it take 3 weeks?
Why 4 gross of best Cuban cigars?
Why 3 dozen litres of Jamaican Rum?
And Miss X, and those Leather Boots, and Horse whips???

Gordon's Brown said...

No helicopter Bill

Bill Quango MP said...

I see the bloody newspapers got it all wrong as usual.
I would no more use a Remmington than shave off my ears. Plus it was a Twix, not a Snickers.

Where's the number for Schillings..

Anonymous said...

Elected representatives.

Anonymous said...

Biggest crooks and thiefs. Shouldn't you be sent to Siberia for the rest of your life? British Government makes me well as The Queen.

Anonymous said...

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Mark Wadsworth said...

Ha ha you is stupid.

You can't just claim £245,000 for a granny flat! What you do is buy it in your own name, declare it as your main residence and then claim all the mortgage interest, while generously allowing your aged parents to 'look after it during the week while you're busy in Westminster'.

If you declare it like that, you won't even get the capital gains exemption!