Thursday, 23 April 2009

Bleats,spends and leaves. Key budget terms




It can be difficult to understand some of the technical terms in yesterday's historic budget.
Here is a quick glossary for those unfamiliar with some of the economic terms.







{picture: How did the budget go down with the newspapers Gordon?}

INVEST= SPEND
GREEN = TAX
JOBS CREATION = JOB RETENTION
POUND = 1/2 A EURO
BILLION = TRILLION
FUTURE GROWTH = FUTURE DEBT
CUTS TO PUBLIC SECTOR = SLOWER RATE OF INCREASE TO PUBLIC SECTOR
GLOBAL = NOT OUR FAULT
RISE IN EXPORTS = FALL IN THE VALUE OF STERLING
NEGATIVE GROWTH = WARTIME DEBT
PRUDENT = RECKLESS
OPTIMISTIC = FANTASIST
ECOLOGICAL = SUBSIDY
RESTORE = DESTROY
BORROWING = SPENDING
FUEL DUTY = NEED TO POKE INFLATION A BIT
TOBACCO DUTY = MUST REALLY GET THIS INFLATION STARTED
SPIRITS DUTY = MUST INFLATE AWAY DEBT.
50% TAX ON THE HIGHEST EARNERS = 50% TAX ON TORIES
INDEPENDENTLY ASSESSED = GORDON PICKED THE FIGURES
AFFORDABLE = UNAFFORDABLE

I COMMEND THIS BUDGET TO THE HOUSE = IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO TELEPHONE THE IMF.

11 comments:

Electro-Kevin said...

How will the Govt stand if the banks come good fairly soon ?

Demetrius said...

Ring ring, "Ullo, IMF 'ere, who is it?" "Who?" "Oh, yes, I think we know what you want." "Well, there's a lot on the agenda at the moment." "Maybe, but we like to back winners here these days." "I see your point, we'll look at it." "Of course, but don't ring us, we'll ring you."

Thud said...

informative but rather chilling...I need a drink.

Tuscan Tony said...

I have issue with only one of these excellent codes; "POUND = 0.8 EURO" is the Tuscan 100-8 shot.

patently said...

Very good!

Judy said...

NuLabour = So fucked

How many here on this blog applauded NuLab's PFI's and tax reductions etc during the bubble boom?

Nick Drew said...

PFI was never in particularly good odour around these parts, Irina

Judy said...

Yes but Nick, private capital ate PFI's.

You had your cake during Nulab (aka Tories).

Nulab and Cameron are on the same page, meanwhile we are so fucked.

Sen. C.R.O'Blene said...

Global warming = Climate change.

Climate change = green taxes.

Green Taxes = Global problem.

Global problem = Weakets excuse for own incompetence and that of the previous incumbent of No 11 Downing St.

hovis said...

Irina, I think you are getting confused between private, (actually corporatist) firms who gladly took the state money and people who actually believe in free markets. PFI is an off balance sheet sham, which became a form of vile corporate socialism - even if it was started by the Tories.

Bill Quango MP said...

EK: The banks come good soon?
Have you seen some green shoots?

Demetrius: You've pinched my Darling/call from the credit card piece! "Mr Brown ..no he doesn't live here any more.."

Thud. Welcome. Better hurry with that drink, before the duty goes on it.

Tuscan: today the tourist rate is 1.049. Still hanging on.

Patently. Hi.How did your government patent work go? I see no one has reported the increase in road tax..
Sly,sly way to fool the meeeja and keep an unpopular tax rise out of the news. Announce it last year to come into force now.

Irina from Dublin:Hi. With Mr Drew and Hovis.

Scrobs: Global problem = Weakest excuse for own incompetence and that of the previous incumbent of No 11 Downing St.

Too true. At least Darling finally blew away the Second Stimulus nonsense. I think he called King and told him to get briefing just before the G20. But previous chancellors, including his predecessor have been much tougher men.