Friday, 5 February 2010

Knaves

Mr Quango told us about the board-games popular with his Parliamentary pals. In between making outrageous expense claims, they like playing cards, as well ...


Brag
: a favourite of politicians, you just make it up as you go along, the more extreme the better

2-card Clegg: for small parties, when you are a card or two short of a full deck

Strip-Jack-Naked (aka Man of Straw): one player tries to conceal cards up his sleeve and the others have to find out what he’s hiding. It is rumoured that the little community of Chilcot intends to hold a public Strip-Jack-Naked tournament shortly

Beggar-my-neighbour: originated in Northern and Scottish constituencies but now popular throughout the land. Players must declare ‘I have a bad back’, and demand that everyone else hands over money in perpetuity. Game is over when only one player is left who hasn't declared

(There is a variation on Beggar which is not played in polite circles)

Stud poke 'er: for two players and a small private office: John Prescott considers himself a master, but the real champion is Steve ‘Shagger’ Norris. John Major was sometimes known to indulge

Find-the-lady: guess which of three, each in a face-down position, is in fact a lady. Increasingly rare in UK politics: Blair's Cabinet was the first since 1929 where it was not possible to play this game, and Brown's has been just as bad (though some players keep calling out 'Harriet Harman', based on a misunderstanding of the rules)

Any others you know of ?

ND

7 comments:

Bill Quango MP said...

Barackarat: The Chief player has to form a hand whose point value is nearer to 9 than the hand of the banker. Other players try to sit as close to the chief as possible.. Gordon Brown's absolubte favourite.

Fifty Two Trillion pick-up:
The first player is the bank and runs up a debt of £52 trillion. The taxpayers then have to pick up that debt.

Scat:
A simple discard game. Mostly played by Lib Dems.

Paulie said...

I love keeping an eye on this site. It always reassures me of the dishonesty of you socially useless city types.

Given that my unborn grandchildren will be paying off the massive debts that we've all racked up because of the opacity, dishonesty and larceny of The Square Mile, it's no wonder that the so much well-heeled energy goes into the promotion of the idea that MPs - whose biggest failing was a reluctance to keep you lot under the thumb properly - are dishonest.

I did a little declaration a while ago on my own site and I'd strongly urge all of your readers to sign it. It's here: http://nevertrustahippy.blogspot.com/2008/09/declaraton-draft-1.html

Nick Drew said...

you are a wicked man Mr Q !

Paulie if only you knew ...

BTW that 'biggest failing' was a very big failing indeed (prop. G Brown), not some trivial oversight

Anonymous said...

Paulie: "Given that my unborn grandchildren will be paying off the massive debts.."

Now a proper capitalist would have allowed the banks to fail. But give credit where it's due, Gordon Brown not satisfied with three failed banks roped Lloyds into the mire too.

Well done Gordon, keep this up and Paulie won't even be able to afford a son, let alone grandchildren.

Philipa said...

But I do have a bad back since falling sharply on my backside in the snow. And poor Gordo has a sore backside every time he's shafted by Blair, when he's not talking out of it. Tis a shame.

Sir Humphrey said...

Mandarins poker terms.

One pair - Ed Balls

Two pair - Yvette Cooper

Three of a kind _ Emily, Hillary and Tony Benn

Straight - Tony Blair

Flush - Gordon brown {as in Busted flush}

Full House - A reference to the second homes John Lewis list.

Four of a kind - {As in War,pestilence, famine and death.}

Refers to Tony Blair,Cherie Blair,John Prescott and Harriet Harman {the kiss of death}

Royal Flush - Peter Mandelson.
{The highest hand}

Paulie said...

"that 'biggest failing' was a very big failing indeed (prop. G Brown), not some trivial oversight"

Let me have a quick look around this site then to see how many pre-2008 posts there are demanding a break-up of the banks and more regulation....

Nope. F**k all.