Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Andrew Marr -vell & His Mistress

As behoves a metaphysical, Mr Marvell's work is timeless.

To His Oh-so-coy Mistress ...

Had we but cash enough, and time,
To print our names would be a crime;
Our lawyers would devise a way
To keep the media at bay.
Super-injunctions fit the bill
When we’ve embarrassments to kill.
For, Lady, you deserve a break
(And I’d be free to play the rake).

But at my back I clearly hear
That bastard Hislop hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast ignominy.
Your reputation turned to dust;
Revealed to Ashley, all my lust.
The Beeb’s a fine and private place,
But Private Eye is on my case.

So now, before our cover’s blown
Let’s claim the high ground for our own.
“I would not gag a fellow hack -
I wished to spare the lovely Jack !
Surely a man and family
May have a little privacy ?”
Thus, though we cannot thwart the Sun
We’ll still look out for Number One.

ND

11 comments:

electro-kevin said...

Very well put. Claiming the moral high ground for his own - under threat of further, impossibly high, legal costs.

Bill Quango MP said...

Very good.
Dare we repeat the twitter jokes of yesterday?

Odin's Raven said...

Excellent!

Nick Drew said...

thanks chaps

Bill, I think you should ! (since I missed them, not being 'on twitter' or whatever one says)

Stupor Injunctions said...

"Imogen Thomas, Ryan Giggs, Ewan Mcgregor and Gaby Logan walk into a bar and I can't tell you what happened"

Man Utd - ?
Schalke - 0

Can't name the first person who scored away from home.

Elby the Beserk said...

Indeed! And what a fine poem to start from. The boy Marvell done good, especially in this, the vegetable green of the year.

John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
idle said...

Your usual very high standard, Nick.

Good stuff.

Mark Wadsworth said...

I messed up badly with previous comments so had to delete. Try this.

Nick Drew said...

err

not quite

mouth is one order of magnitude wider

Mark Wadsworth said...

ND, I did the thin version. His face is wide but he is skinny at the same time so I had to compromise somewhere.