Thursday 22 November 2012

Question Time to 'chav or chav not' edition

David Dimbleby presents Question Time from Westminster Hall in the Houses of Parliament. On the panel: Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan 'Shhhh! Quiet'' Smith MP, Shadow Home Secretary Yvette 'shouty shouty' Cooper MP, former leader of the Liberal Democrats Charles 'glug glug' Kennedy MP, businesswoman and star of Dragons' Den Deborah 'I'm out' Meaden and the Independent columnist Owen ' shriek, squeak' Jones.
Enter your guess for what you believe the regional audience will ask of the panel. Maximum of 5 guesses allowed. Various special rules apply that are hidden even more cunningly than on a apple iphone update.

Nick Drew guessing from Singapore has

1. Gaza ceasefire. Tony Blair fixed it?
2. Women Bishops. Church to discuss for 2000 years more.
3. Life sentences for crims. Yuman roits iinnit?
4. Leveson says + new BBC DG
5. Student march - Owen tells us its the end of hope.



Le Dick du la Preek said...

Evening All

Owen Jones? Really? Oh FFS with bells on. Cue fake indignation and high minded drivel to everything Duncan of Smith utters. Hey nonny no.

Anywho -

1) Fellons franchise

2) Gotta be something about the 'morally indefensible' benefit onslaught - i'll punt for the amendment to the definition of kiddy poverty and the fact that they're starving by 'eckerslike, starving!

3) Bashing Bishop Babes - err...i'm in favour of that, although I may have got the wrong end of the crosier!

4) To give Von Rumpey a Trillion or just one pffenig less - oh, quelle horreux!

5) How can Israel be so beastley as to defend itself against those brave, indefatigible freedom fighters intent on female subjugation, dictatorial government and one man, one vote, one time. Ah, those Hamas guys - they're a bunch of bounders eh?

Demetrius said...

Nationalise Chelsea FC?

Bill Quango MP said...

1. Dave's EU no vote {no does sometimes mean yes}
2. IDS and benefit caps and housing in Stoke.
3. Police numbers drastically cut yet still no changes to frontline services.
4.Gaza - Chamberlain brings peace, again. "I have in my hand an iphone, with a tweet from Herr Hamas, that says "peace in our time" smiley face - lol."
5. Women Bishops and the church failing to modernise to the 1970s.

CityUnslicker said...

- Mad Nads - mad tory
- Mad Israelis - Tories support them
- Mad EU - Tories are horrible eu scpetics
- Mad Church - typcial Conservaitve behaviour


gsd said...

Hi all. My guesses are:

1) Government recognition of the Syrian Opposition - does anyone care now that Israel/Gaza have the spotlight?

2) Government defeat in the Lords on Secret Trials - evidence that LimDem's reforms aren't as urgently needed as suggested?

3) EU Budget negotiations: A brilliant opportunity for DC or a poisoned chalice?

4) Ministers running rental scams & hypocrite Hodge spouting off - How out of control/clueless are our MPs? (BQ excepted of course!)

5) Girly Bishops: Should the Synod be forced to vote again & again until they get it "right"? [as the ABoC seemed to suggest earlier this week].

lilith said...

1. Is it a good idea to support the "rebels" in Syria with arms, given how they hate Israel more than they hate Assad?

2. Is it a good idea to send David Cameron to Europe to keep the rebate or is he just posing for the media and going to give it all away under the table?

3. When is the C of E gonna get wiv the program?

4. MPs rental arrangements, sleaze or sensible?

5. Cuts

Timbo614 said...

1) Bishessses - da bishess are not allowed at da big table unless:

a) They are a virgin;
b) they have given birth;
or alternately
c) they agree to be fiddled with.
(I realise that's the other religion - but it sounds good!)

2) Cameron goes off to Europe to Stick it up 'em. It has to be him Clive Dunn died :( and he will be just as successful as Pvt. Jones may have been.

3) Pension war II - was Gordon's robbery not enough?

4) Voting for Prisoners - just vote NO! (just for a larf- and see what the EU can actually do, nothing methinks)

5) Energy Tariffs - Won't the cartel just put then ALL up?

measured said...

1. Ho Hum. Hum Drum. Council workers. Unemployment.

2. I was amused by the tweet “Can someone explain to me why you need a penis to be a bishop”. I couldn't.

3. Well, they have nothing better to do. Prisoners’ votes. Easy to win their support and they can’t chase you when you don’t deliver. Ideal voters.

4. Europe. Dare anyone mention October’s economic figures? Ah, yes, there you go, Deborah.

5. Freedom of Speech as Leveson reports back next week. Will I have to be licensed to write on here, BQ? I think it is such a good competition.

(Chilcot doesn’t report back until mid to late 2013. I was told Blair has visited Gaza over eighty times. What is Israel’s game plan apart from another brick in the wall?)

Anonymous said...

to Chilcott - (verb) - to rub down with a feather duster

Budgie said...

1. The BBC says: "Does the tragic reversal of a women's right to be a Bishop mean that Britain is less progressive than Gomboland?" Discuss ad matchstickium.

2. The BBC says: "Hamas has rightfully won a victory over the evil, Thatcherist, Palestinian-occupying oppressor the jew-entity; and all the holy martyrs are now in heaven" Discuss til you poke your own eyes out.

3. The BBC says: "Free the George Entwhistle one! All this kiddy fiddling wasn't us - honest, guv - it were the Tories, especially that Thatcher and her treasurer (are you allowed to say that? - Ed)". Discuss til you see Pattens in front of your eyes.

4. EU money crises continued, week 94.

5. The BBC says: "Will more criminals vote for Labour - or will they lag (geddit?) behind? They know it makes sense."

Bill Quango MP said...

Here we go.

Q1: Should Parliament now consider amending sex discrimination legislation to cover the Church of England? Most think it is not parliament's place to intervene. Which is very very strange. Why is it Parliament's business to legislate against men only clubs..hetro only bed and breakfasts, non discriminatory workplaces, yet not in the church.
very strange argument.

Q2: Should Britain forge a new, looser relationship with Brussels?

Yes..Now lets just get on with it.

Q3: Do you think Israel was justified combing Gaza after months of rocket attacks on Israeli civilians?

No one really likes to say anything. Except Owen Jones who is very pro Hamas.

Do you now fewer people have died in all the Israeli/Palestinain conflicts since 1967 than died on 9/11. Why do we even report on it?

Q4: Why should prisoners who have shown that they cannot abide by the laws be given a say into how society should be run?

Q5: Under benefit cap, should large unemployed families priced out of London move to cheaper areas or should councils subsidise them?

Crammed in as a final question. Just for IDS.

BTW - Archbishop Cramner was the BBCQT~ guest twitter czar. Yet he didn't once say "That would be an ecumenical matter"


Bill Quango MP said...

Nick Drew - 5. not bad from 8,000 miles away.

Le Dick du la Preek - 8 V. Good. {if only we were doing league tables this season- you'd be flying}

BQ - 7

CU - 5

gsd - bit off -4

Lilith - 5 ..

Timbo614 - 5

Measured - 5 {good tweet}

Anon - excellent

Budgie - 7 +1 for the spot on 1st q.

Winners are Budgie and monsieur Dick.
between you you get to draw the new Israel/Palestine partition line.

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