Saturday 22 December 2012

Night At The Opera - Again!

Yes folks, we are back at the opera! This year it is Der Fliegende Italiener, or Berlusconi Does A Bunka

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The scene opens with Toni and Cheri, our perennial seekers after wealth, in one of their vulgar Jacobethan McMansions. They have clearly succeeded in their quest, and are counting vast quantities of banknotes. Beside them is a poker-faced adviser dressed all in grey, with a haughty look and a waxed moustache. 

Cheri is in ecstasy, and sings the piercing soprano solo, Wie nahte mir der Schlummer (we’ve no need to slum it any more). As she climaxes, a familiar face is seen at the door. It is Silvio, at whose fabulous Italian Palazzo they were so often supplicants in the past. He looks hunted and utterly miserable, and sings the baritone air: Ich bin so bös als gut (I’m sick to my stomach). Toni asks why he is so glum: is he, perchance, in some kind of trouble over his taxes? or the young ladies? Silvio responds with Per me ora fatale (the whores will be the death of me). 

Cheri flippantly suggests that a nice oriental girl would suit him, singing Madamina il catalogo è questo (seek a mail-order bride). Silvio is displeased, and turning to the audience gives us the famous Pensa che sei mia figlia (I think they are trifling with me). Eyeing their cash mountain he addresses the greedy pair again: surely, they owe him a favour? - Ach, könnt'ich nur ein wenig richten (haven’t I the right to a bit?) 

Toni replies that he has indeed got something for him, and Silvio brightens at once: Ich sah das Kind (I say, that’s nice of you!). It is some advice, says Toni, and tells Silvio that he must face his persecutors and bargain with them: negotiate, or watch out for your fate! - Neghittosi or voi che fate

Silvio can see he is getting nowhere, and makes to leave. Suddenly his eye falls on the mysterious third person at the table, and gives him a long, hard stare. The strange man turns away, and softly renders the bass aria: Ah fu giusto il mio sospetto (fuggit! he suspects me!). 

Silvio stomps off. As the curtain falls he can be heard singing Merci doux crepuscule (thanks a bunch, you pair of shits!). 

What will Silvio do next ? Will Toni and Cheri ever be satisfied ? Who is the mystery man ? To be continued.



Mark Wadsworth said...

Ah, nothing cheers me up like really bad translations. Lovely.

Anonymous said...

Per me ora fatale - heh heh.

Opera Notwinfree said...

La donna est mobile = the wife is (either) on the phone / in the car.

Nick Drew said...

ON - nice one: but are you sure ?! Our Toni (referring to Cheri) thought it meant she’s a terrible social climber

Demetrius said...

Great! You might like my "Firebird" of a couple of days ago.