Monday 31 March 2014

Which is the April Fool

Bizarrely only one of these is (mostly) not made up.

1. George Osborne, perhaps in a fit of Tony Benn nostalgia announced that in future a Tory government would commit itself to full employment regardless of the cost to the nation's purse or globalisation having rendered such ideas impossible.

2. Nigel Farage has stated he admires Vladamir Putin the most of any world leader and keeps a life size cardboard cutout of the half naked president in his office.

3. Julie Gayet, the ex-ish girlfriend of Francois Hollande is suing the magazine that first published the story of her affair with the crisis hit premier on the grounds that it was true and she didn't like it.

4 Nick Drew of Capitalists@Work has added his name to the growing list of UKIP hopefuls as he has decided to stand for a seat in the coming euro elections. Mr Drew stated that "he'd had it up to here with the Heathites." And made a flat hand above head gesture.

5. Having had his red lines crossed by Russia over Syria and recently in the Ukraine, President Obama's secretary of state, John  Kerry, has announced yet more red lines, only drawn with a thicker, more impressive, nib.

6. Having spent the day panicking the public after a global warming report predicted drought, flood, fire, pestilence and famine within 45 minutes, the BBC asked on its main news pages "is the climate report overly alarmist?"

7. The coalition government plans to introduce a law to protect children from emotional cruelty. The law it is hoped, will prevent parents from failing to do their children's homework equally as impressively as the competitive mother down the road does. Pretending there is only one Harry Potter book and from saying "because I say so, that's why!"


Electro-Kevin said...

Nick standing for UKIP ?

Well that would lend the party some credibility.

Sackerson said...

Possibly 6 may be a fake.

Re 2, I think many modern Brits do not understand that you can appreciate your opponent's mindset and qualities, indeed you have to if you are to defeat him.

Blue Eyes said...

No way ND is a Kipper. Far too intelligent.

CityUnslicker said...

We live in crazy times eh!

DtP said...

The Gayet thing sounds totally implausible so...err..

UKIP if you want to, the Capitalists are not for Kipping....hmm...needs work.

Bill Quango MP said...

past lunchtime now:

Sackerson - No. genuine. BBC, with all the irony of Polly Toynbee saying 'lets not get sanctimonious' put a post asking if their, and most media's, hysterical coverage of the climate report was a bit 'alarmist?'

DTP - Gayet is suing the magazine for revealing her affair. French 'hacked off' laws mean reporting something, even when true, is very risky.

CU-EK-BE - Mr Drew has no immediate plans to contest the euro elections.

Electro-Kevin said...

BQ - Such a pity that Nick won't be contesting the euro elections. Will he be contesting Eurovision instead then ?

I hear that he's a very good singer.