Monday, 31 March 2014
Which is the April Fool
1. George Osborne, perhaps in a fit of Tony Benn nostalgia announced that in future a Tory government would commit itself to full employment regardless of the cost to the nation's purse or globalisation having rendered such ideas impossible.
2. Nigel Farage has stated he admires Vladamir Putin the most of any world leader and keeps a life size cardboard cutout of the half naked president in his office.
3. Julie Gayet, the ex-ish girlfriend of Francois Hollande is suing the magazine that first published the story of her affair with the crisis hit premier on the grounds that it was true and she didn't like it.
4 Nick Drew of Capitalists@Work has added his name to the growing list of UKIP hopefuls as he has decided to stand for a seat in the coming euro elections. Mr Drew stated that "he'd had it up to here with the Heathites." And made a flat hand above head gesture.
5. Having had his red lines crossed by Russia over Syria and recently in the Ukraine, President Obama's secretary of state, John Kerry, has announced yet more red lines, only drawn with a thicker, more impressive, nib.
6. Having spent the day panicking the public after a global warming report predicted drought, flood, fire, pestilence and famine within 45 minutes, the BBC asked on its main news pages "is the climate report overly alarmist?"
7. The coalition government plans to introduce a law to protect children from emotional cruelty. The law it is hoped, will prevent parents from failing to do their children's homework equally as impressively as the competitive mother down the road does. Pretending there is only one Harry Potter book and from saying "because I say so, that's why!"
Posted by Bill Quango MP