Thursday 25 September 2014

BBC Question Time - charity shield edition

The Great BBC Question Time Bake Off begins tonight.
These first episodes have a lot of ground to cover and usually the editor adds some random questions from months ago. Presumably so we know they've been paying attention and not just on the sort of long holiday a teacher would envy.

So, the first edition back is the charity shield match. Tonight's winner gets to add that silverware to their Question Time Trophy cabinet.

A bit easier tonight as the momentous events have been quite recent. And the location of the show is a bit of a clue to the BBC's thinking.
David Dimbleby presents topical debate from Kelso in the Scottish Borders, with an audience from both the English and Scottish sides of the border.
The panel includes Labour's shadow attorney general Emily Thornberry MP, the Scottish government's finance secretary John Swinney MSP, Conservative chairman of the defence select committee Rory Stewart MP, Scotsman columnist Lesley Riddoch and editor-at-large of the Independent on Sunday, Janet Street-Porter.

1 or 2 points for each correct question asked. Depending on how close to the actual wording.
5 points for guessing the colour/design of  the Dimbleby tie. 2 points for nearest match if no outright winner

1 point for each witty comment/excessive punning/ lampoon/mock/clever theme  that you put into the comments
1 point for the first entrant each week 
1 point for random other reasons

Capitalists@Work BBC Question Time competition is proud to support Politicians in Need.
{of votes}.
Sponsored by Benson's Beds. "For a great night in, go to Benson's."
 62 Camberwell high street - Sleeping on the job is what we do."

BQ Suspects
 - Is Independence now dead for a generation?
 -  Should there be a seperate English parliament?
 - Has David Cameron renegaded on his unlimited cash for Scotland promise already ?
 - Should the UK become involved with the US led mission to attack IS in Iraq?
{And should there be a referendum in pacifist Scotland on this? - And why has such a historically warlike nation, very good at fighting, suddenly all become softy-girly-weeds?}
- Just because its the labour conference, NHS cash, hospital, funding crisis, mansion tax, privatisation of healthcare borefest. probably from "on message" Miss Soundbite herself , Emily Thornberry. -Or as she's known in the House - THE REGURGITATOR.


BE said...

Was the referendum the starter or dessert? Is another referendum on the menu?

English cakes for English bakers? Can constitutional reform be done ad hoc or is there a recipe which must be followed?

Will Ed Miliband's omission of the deficit from his conference loaf mean that his electoral fortunes fail to rise?

Is a tax on houses with big kitchens fair or a slippery slope towards higher taxes for all hardcookingfamilies?

Was Salmond smoked, or will he be bass in the future?

Tie: fresh haggis with lib dem yellow splodges.

Nick Drew said...

(0) blood-in-the-sand
(1) should smartarse politicians stick to a script?
(2) should the voting age now be reduced to 16, after the stunning success of Salmond's attempt at gerrymandering?
(2a) would members of the audience stop throttling each other?
(3) should oldies be denied the vote, after they deprived Salmond of his birthright?
(4) should we ever treat with ISIL / hostage-takers etc etc?

Malcolm Tucker said...

Dimby tie : tartan shortbread

Why didn't Scotland vote for independence? Head over heart?
Will the unprecedented high voter turnout be repeated next year (no). Votes for 11 year olds?
Did Cameron have to agree to keeping the absurd Barnett formula? Panic from one poll out of 60. Should he have resigned instead of Salmond

Time to start booming someone. Should the UK sit this war out! Enough others are involved already. We can be the Germans for once. Just send some social workers.

Is the deficit important ? Or just something that's easily forgotten.

measured said...

Evenin’ all,

1. Shouldn’t Saudi Arabia*, leader of the Muslim world, be told to sort out its brothers? There again, we don’t want terrorists roaming the world. One bombs (hard guys) and the other (soft guys) talks. The Qur'an needs amending in the way the faithful are told treat non believers.

2. Were the Scots sold down the River Tweed? Och, Cameron did what a man had t’do. Spey a thought for the West Lothian question.

3. Labour. Can we afford a minimum wage of £8 an hour? So how many apprentices at what cost? Zero hours will be no hours. Deficit, what deficit?

4. Will UKIP rule the waves?

5. How can we pursue old DJs and yet so few in Rotherham? Intimidation.

Dimbletie: Golf balls – ruby red

What's the tournament prize going to be, BQ? A piece of Ukraine?

*Ten million women are oppressed in Saudi Arabia; no sport, no driving, not allowed out, not allowed into government offices unless accompanied, forms must be signed for a woman to leave the country, pressurised to have large families and nearly all are financial dependants on their husbands where the courts favour men. Most women have nervous breakdowns after their expensive wedding and first child, lose their confidence and become spoilt. America avoids highlighting this awkward truth.

Hopper said...

God, what a horrible panel.

1. Was the indyref a fix by scheming English politicos and monarchy? Are we going to end up with the People's Republic of Glasgow instead?
2. What's the future of British Labour after opposing independence?
3. If ISIS are such a threat to Western Civilisation, why did we let them take over Syria and Iraq before doing anything about it?
4. Oh, go on: why not drop the voting age to 16? (or 14? 10?)

Only 4 questions because of lots of blathering and willy-waving about Scotland and Syria.

Timbo614 said...

Blimey that time already...

Salmomd slithers off,
Sturgeon soldiers on,
Scotland saunters safe & sound,
So should sassenachs support Scotland's social 'speriments?

Something strange in Syrian sands,
Psycho's slaughter, slobber & show,
crimes brought to you via Youtubes.
Surely Google should silently censor?

School kids sullied, by shitbags*, secretly supported by silent Social Services.
Society cannot support this status-quo,
Swing they should, from string and something sturdy!

Sillypede slips, stupid scribes, sloppy sums signalling sliding standards.

Tie: Silvery slashed with scarlet.

*best with F***ing in front but I promised not to swear again this year and it doesn't start with S

DtP said...


1) Freedom

2) EV for tits

3) Iraq

4) Ed Miliband - bit of a tit

5) Kid european arresst warrant thing - some healthcare human interest shite

Bill Quango MP said...

Does the panel believe the war against ISIS will be won by air strikes alone?

Q: @AlexSalmond said last week "the campaign continues and the dream shall never die." When will @theSNP accept No result as final?

Q: Should Scottish MPs continue to vote on English issues in Parliament?

Q: If @Ed_Miliband forgets the deficit in a major speech, how can he be trusted to lead the country?

Bill Quango MP said...

typically lackluster charity shield - too many reserve squad players on the pitch. So a plodding, predictable game.
Highlight was Emily 'on message' Fivebellies saying as the very last line of the show, in a sombre tone,

- We need jobs, housing {sob} for our children, {wipes tear from eye}
and..we must save OUR NHS !

It was met with complete silence - She was very surprised. silly old bat.


- BQ - 8 Corking!

- BE - 1 for first NONE for tie - 1 for baking references - 7+2 = 9

CU - 4

ND - 6 {and strangely the Scots audience overwhelmingly thought we should have some sort of diplomacy and treaty with ISIl - very weird.}

Malcolm Tucker - 7

Measured - 4 {Saudis - Have been our allies for years. Yet we NEVER criticise them. Not since death of a princess - Channel 4 I think - one for google. Its an issue that George 'dictator's friend' Galloway mentions. And amazingly, he is right.

hopper was a very ugly panel too. Looked like the waiting area for those who just aren't going to get on X factor. - 5

Timbo - truly excellent +2 + 5 for the rest - 7

DTP - just sneaked in - 5

Charity Shield winner is Blue Eyes with 9


BE said...

Winner! First ever win! Even with the tiegate gerrymandering which was almost Salmondworthy ;-)

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