They all come in uniform and/or on horseback if desirable; speak French; fly themselves in (some even at the controls of a helicopter, which is no mean feat); and don't require two battalions of large grey-suited men wearing shades and microphones to be placed between themselves and the adoring crowds.
Yes, with the occasional fleeting exception like Obama six years ago or Mandela in the 1990's, there's really no-one else to touch them.
Now: here's the challenge. Wills is doing great business in China just now but another, more sensitive gig looms. Yes folks, 9 May 2015 is Moscow Victory Day Parade and it's a big'un, the 70th anniversary, no expense spared. There will be T-34's on show! And they've already got acceptances from, oooh, the President of, errr, Serbia and, hmmm, the President of Vietnam and .... yes, Fat-boy Kim himself, Jong Un the wrong'un!
But somehow, little Volodya's party is not yet complete. After all, he went to Normandy in 2014 and he really, really feels everyone should do him the honour of paying a return visit - not just the sub-communist nobodies. Egad! - a tough decision for Whitehall, what with all the posturing over Ukraine: and given the General Election two days before, there's the possibility we won't even have a proper Prime Minister!
So, compo time:
- who should we send?
- who will we send?
1. HMQ, on condition that Crimea is relinquished beforehand
2. Prince Charles in full rig, on condition that Fat-Boy is debarred
Have at it, C@W!