|A month of Sundaes|
Back in the mists of time, when the snowflake generation's parents were children themselves, a transformation occurred. Along with globalisation and council house ownership, cruise missiles and 'Big Bang' came the mini Americanisation of the UK.
Councils tried to ban McDonalds and the broadsheets derided the vacuousness and sexuality of MTV over the old Grey Whistle test.
But the public were queuing in long lines for a taste of 'the exotic'
Baskin Robbins 31 flavours had arrived in the UK.
31 flavours was inconceivable. Everyone knew there were only four.
Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla and a block containing all three for very special occasions.
So people made it a mission to see what these extraordinary flavours could possibly be. Banana? Maybe Black Cherry..like in the SKI yogurts! Families loaded up the car and set off to find out.
My Mother, always keen to embrace new foods, took us all. Her, three kids, and her mum. And we queued for an hour.
In the style of Peter Kay:
"You kids..stop messing about or you'll get nothing. It won't be long now..Go and look at the board again..Do they have FAB? We've not queued up for ice lolly. What ice cream do you want. Rum and raisin ?..You can't have rum. You're only nine! Choose another..And not beer flavour, neither..
Jamoca? Jam and Ocha? What's that about?
What you having Mum? They've got Almond BonBon..You like Bon Bons, don't you.? Almond..Not Strawberry, don't look like...Look up front. That's Beryl from the bakers. What's she getting? Mint Chocolate and Chips, did she say? She's always a bit funny, that one..In a waffle cone too..Ohh, get her, posh cow!
What you having Nan?..Praline 'N cream.. 'N cream it says. No idea ..what 'N is, no..Neapolitan? Ok..Pick another..there's plenty more..What's that? ..Bubblegum? With your dentures? I'm not having you chewing ice-cream all the way home...Try again, Nan..
Vanilla? We can get vanilla in shop! ..It's in the freezer with the crispy pancakes. Vanilla! What about Mango Tango? No.. Or Pistachio ? I don't know what it is....Its green. Looks like mushy pea flavour. No.. No ..Just vanilla..with a flake, you say..Ok Nan..With no chips..Ok pet.."
What has any of this to do with a USA trade deal and chlorinated chicken?
Simply that the most consumer focused, most 'can-do' and most litigious nation on the planet will sell us what we want to have and make damned sure they can't be sued for giving it to us.
The USA is not the EU demanding we follow diktat number 11/44k-sii'#2 - regulated size and depth agreement of ice cream tub for retail/wholesale, but non domestic, non hospitality purpose.
If we don't want chlorinated chicken, we won't have it. They will sell us, what we, the customer, wants to buy. As the interview between the BBC's impoverished Emily Maitlis and Trump's spinner Anthony Scamucci revealed. He looked bemused when she brought the remoaner's fallback defence line of 'foreign chicken.'
The man from the nation of 'Have it your way! You choose!' seemed bemused she even raised the question. He admitted he didn't know the details regarding EU agriculture and US agriculture laws
From a country that had drive thru ATMs before we even had walk up ATMs, and the two hundred channel TV when we had only three, it would be odd that if we wanted a specific item, in a specific way, that they wouldn't be able to give it to us.
Won't be able to give us something else that we really do want in order to allow them to sell us their chicken as it is.
That's what trade deals are.