Friday 30 March 2018

I hear you're a racist now Father Jez {pt II}

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It was another day before Father Jez felt recovered enough to go back on his rounds. His nose was back to its normal size and his head wound was just a small scab. He felt much, much better as he stepped outside the labour parochial house on a cold, but clear morning.

"Morning Father." 
He looked towards the voice and saw Alan Bennett. A loyal parishioner. 
"Hullo Alan," he called cordially.

"I hear you're a racist now Father Jez." Said Alan.

Jez was so startled he almost dropped his gloves.

 "Wh..What?" He spluttered.

Alan continued "How did you get interested in that whole Antisemitism affair, then Father? Was it to do with Israel and Hamas and that sort of thing?"

Jez was shocked. "Who said I'm a racist?" He demanded.

"Sure, everyone is saying it Father," said Mr Bennett. And added with genuine curiosity "Should all Labour supporters be antisemitic racists now Father? ... What's the official line the Labour Party is taking ?  Is it all Jews out of the party or is that just your own personal opinion, now?"

"No..No..I'm" struggled Jez as Alan explained the difficulty Antisemitism would cause for him personally.

"I still do a lot of the old play writing, see Father. So I might not be able to devote meself to the whole racism thing full time. Just in the evenings and weekends, like ?"

Before Father Jez could respond to this insanity a woman across the way called out to him.
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"Good for you Father!" It was another parishoner. One of his loyal MPs. Naz Shah. 

"Oh..Its yourself," smiled Father Jez to her. Relieved not to have to talk to Alan for a moment.
 "How are you Naz-i ..I'm sorry..I mean ..Naz..sorry....How are you Naz.?"

"Good for you Father!" She called to him again. "Its about time someone stood up to them! Coming over here and taking our third sector charity jobs and our Mayoral, gold plated, cushy jobs and our money. Acting like they own the feckin' place." 

She was so enraged she was skidding on the muddy path. He whole body shaking with emotion. "Good for you Father! You get rid of those feckin' Blairites!"

Jez looked even more surprised than ever. Just what WAS going on?

"Its not the Blairites this time. Its the Jews he's after now," called over Alan Bennett to her helpfully.

"I'm not after the Jews!" Exclaimed Jez.

"I don't care who he gets!" yelled back Naz. " So long as I can have a go at the Blairites! Good for you Father. We Working Class Labour voted Brexit by the million. And who stands up for us. No one! Kick them out Father. Blairite scum. They invented crony capitalism! The racists!"

Angrily Father Jez tells both them. "Look. I'm not having a go at anybody!  I am not Antisemitic alright! Ok! Good grief." And he stormed off and left them to it.

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I am not Antisemitic, alright!

{To be continued.}


Electro-Kevin said...

This and the previous post.

I am unworthy !

Electro-Kevin said...

One of the laddo's is at home from university.

He's a chemistry student and has this air of nerdy incompetence about him. He hides his cleverness well.

He trounced us all at Scrabble last night.

"Czar" on a triple.

He added " ier" on the end of "creak" to make "creakier" again, on a triple and various other multiple words for each go.

I was feeling inferior already this morning so thanks a bunch !

barnacle bill said...

I could not help but read this with an Irish accent echo'ing in my head!