Thursday 9 August 2018

Estate Agents Rise to the Challenge

Now here's a tricky one.  The house (a pair of semis) in the google earth pic below is a mile from Schloss Drew, and just about as awkwardly situated as it is possible to be whilst still only 10 miles from Charing Cross.  It has no access road, just a steep stony track; and is completely surrounded, 360 degrees, by dense woodland - think Sleeping Beauty's palace after 100 years of brambles.  Romantic?  Maybe.  Security?  A nightmare.  Mains drainage?  You're joking!



So - how to sell this delightful property?  They didn't assign this one to the trainee.
Charming Home in Very Secluded Location.  Extremely Leafy Outlooks.  There are but a few locations where you feel detached from the modern world but can reach central London in under an hour, and this property is one of them!  The only way this stunning home can be fully appreciated is by seeing it for yourself.  Great for those who love to be surrounded by nature, with the peace and quiet disturbed only by the sound of birdsong ... Accessed on foot ... 
Actually, on a bad Saturday night there may be one or two other sounds disturbing the quiet, as the court pages of the local newspaper attest.

Extremely Leafy Outlooks:  I shall savour that one for quite a while.

ND
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UPDATE:  Jan asked about parking.  See comments below - this, again from google earth, is the nearest answer.  (That vehicle access is rougher than it looks in this shot)



13 comments:

dearieme said...

How much of the woodland comes with it?

What's the prob with (i) putting a deer fence around the woodland, (ii) felling and poisoning the trees nearest the house, and (iii) buying a LandRover?

Anomalous Cowshed said...

Bit too close to Croydon, thanks very much.

Nick Drew said...

@ How much of the woodland comes with it?

None, dearieme - the grass you can see is the garden and it extends only to the garden fence

I haven't walked that way in a bit, but from memory you might just get a Land Rover in: Defender, mind, with no regard for paintwork

It isn't the Cronx crew that goes out there, Mr Cowshed (the trees spook them too much)

Anomalous Cowshed said...

Still leaves* the New Addington posse.


*Ha-ha.

Electro-Kevin said...

They'd have to get all the ancestors out of the loft before they sell it.

Sackerson said...

Looks like a still from Killer Tree Apocalypse.

Electro-Kevin said...

One of Thud's lodges, isn't it ?

Thud said...

EK....if you can't see me out building walls its not mine!

Raedwald said...

On the down side - completely inaccessible to emergency service and delivery vehicles; if it burns, it burns.

On the upside - completely inaccessible to emergency service vehicles. Suit cannabis grower using low-heat signature LED lighting. Wolves can be introduced.

Electro-Kevin said...

Yes. I'd want a wall in that locale - a bloody high one with barbed wire atop and a couple of Rottweilers.

Electro-Kevin said...

Raedwald - I bet Cliff Richard wishes he'd bought it.

Jan said...

............but what will people do if there's nowhere to park?


(From my experience of selling, parking is the all important requisite when buying a house apparently)

Nick Drew said...

Jan - down the slope from this property is a cluster of Victorian workman's cottages around a track that does permit of parking under the trees - see pic in update

the whole area used to be a sand quarry, the last remnants of which were stll operational when I were a lad