Tuesday, 10 September 2019

So, Farewell Mr Speaker ...

With apologies to Victor Hugo, Herbert Kretzmer and the entire case of Les Mis ...


Speaker of the House, preening little prick,
Has us almost hankering for Gorbals Mick
Cocky little Berc, nasty piece of work,
Turns a shade of purple as he goes berserk 
Shouting out his 'Order! Order!'
Making us endure his spouse
God knows how we’ve lasted, suffering this bastard in the House!

Bullying the staff, quite beyond the pale
Running up expenses on a monstrous scale
Quick to take affront, pompous little runt
Napoleonic complex and a lifelong chump
Always had his list of favourites –
Neutrality is up the creek
Sycophancy’s best so - grovel if you want to speak!

Cut a little slack, cut a little dash
Can’t control his missus when she’s on the lash
Cunning little brain, thinks he knows a bit
“Champion of Parliament” and lifelong shit
“Keeper of the constitution”-
Trying now to make us laugh?
Worst of all the Speakers, that’ll be his epitaph!

ND

14 comments:

John in Cheshire said...

Mr Bombastic. And friends with the washing machine salesman and procurer of drugs for rent boys.

Bill Quango MP said...

Excellent ND. And far more than the most ambitious of them all, ever deserved.

dearieme said...

"Worst of all the Speakers, that’ll be his epitaph!"

Or perhaps last of all the Speakers, as the term has heretofore been understood.


Will the next new-style Speaker be Horridest Harbinger, she who used to work on behalf of a paedophile outfit?

Raedwald said...

Superb!

Timbo614 said...

Nice one ND, Nice one son,
Nice one ND, it's one of your best ones!

E-K said...

I expect he'll be all over the TV. A BBC hero - Strictly, I'm a Celebrity...

Unknown said...

Thanks, chaps. JiC, yes, I should have tried to get Vaz in there somewhere

(hmm, there are a lot more verses in the Les Mis version ...)

YDG said...

RE: dearieme

"Will the next new-style Speaker be Horridest Harbinger, "

I thought the approved reference was Harridan Hatesmen.

Michael said...

Brilliant, Nick!

Always great to hear a parody of Les Dawson!

Nick Drew said...

I play the piano like him, too

(but I'm uglier)

E-K said...

Les Dawson was a good pianist. His must have been de-tuned. He'd have made a great Speaker.

Elby the Beserk said...

E-K said...
Les Dawson was a good pianist. His must have been de-tuned. He'd have made a great Speaker.

===================

Agreed. Les - from the days when comedians were actually funny.

Anonymous said...

Playing the man? So there may be an inkling of an idea that he was doing all right in sticking up for Parliament over the Executive.

Spitting out dummies all round then.

BlokeInBrum said...

Anon, how about sticking up for the majority of people who voted for Brexit?
Guess they don't count...