Jacqui Smith tough new proposals

In a new initiative today Jacqui Smith the Home Secretary announced that banks who have repossessed peoples homes will be forced to visit the now homeless families as they wait in line at a shelter.

"This will surely stop the reckless lending by High [on cocaine], Street Bankers. Some have been indiscriminately targeting low income families with offers of cheap credit for years. Having to face their defaulters will show them the error of their ways, and hopefully frighten them into more reasonable lending practices.Seeing the victims of a credit crunch may make the perpetrators realise there is nothing glamorous about negative equity."

But the Chief of Police said "Nothing has been done about these gangs of financiers for years.They are often young men in their twenties,hanging around the big cities, especially London, pumped up on cheap credit and big bonuses.They would often borrow in the USA and then ship it over here. There were no real penalties at all given by magistrates or the FSA for giving unlimited credit to poor risks. Their supervisors didn't know where they were or what they were up to, and often, as long as they were out of sight, they didn't care. How we, as a society, in the 21st century could allow this sort of reckless behaviour is astounding."

A member of a Council said "This whole policy is half baked. I blame the biggest banks for allowing a flood of cheap money onto these new gated estates. The government's twenty-four hour borrowing law has only exacerbated the problem. Sometimes older institutions would lend money to the younger, minor ones. And many firms allowed self certification to get round the 18 is under age law and bypassing the need for proper ID. How this new initiative will stop mortgage crime is not clear.Round here there's a townhouse going up for sale every day. People are scared. Many of the youngsters are carrying Connect cards. They know the financial consequences of using them, but on a night out, sometimes it just all gets out of hand. It can all kick off at a taxi rank when they need funds to get home. They see a gang hanging around a cash point and it can just escalate."

And at a brokerage den our reporter asked if this would have any effect on their behavior.
Some said that they had already scaled back their lending but once the heat was off they would return to it.
"Oh, I say, None at all old chap" said one dealer. "If I can get some stuff in from the middle east I will be blowing it around town in a second. I'm not interested in homeless people.We have our own problems you know.Like takeovers""

Opposition parties have condemned the proposals as unworkable, and not tackling the real problem. Vince Cable claimed that the real problem was being too soft on these bankers.
"An institution in the north, made itself the leading lender. It attracted many borrowers and soon became known as the infamous Northern Rock street gang. When they were finally bought to book, the government dithered over their sentence and then in the end decided to just take them into care. No prison sentences were handed out to the ringleaders. Not even community service, and they were permitted to retain all the loot they had amassed."

But in a recent communique the government has tried to clarify its position. Building Societies and Independent Financial Advisors will now only be taken to visit the solicitors or removal men of the people who's homes have been taken away.

We returned to the 'Alliance' gang in Leicester to get a comment but found only empty premises. They had gone.