Friday, 11 December 2009

Friday fun - Top Chumps

Top Chumps.

The latest addition to the Political Personalities line is an amalgamation of Top Chumps and Tragic the Gathering
Can you asses the cards of these modern day Superheroes and check the ratings?

The Brown Goblin
Charisma - 2
Communication - 2
Guile & Cunning - 9
Ruthlessness - 6
Ability - 7

Outwitted at Granita Pass by Blair the Cleric, he retreated to the swamp and amassed a goblin army.
Wounded Blair and forced him to flee with the Gold and Crown at battle of Backstab Pass.
Brown became uncrowned King shortly afterwards.

Catchphrase - Right thing to do.
Special Power - Obfuscation
Magic Colour - Brown

Abduction card image
Sir Vincent of Cable,
the Venerable Crusader
Charisma - 7
Communication - 7
Guile & Cunning - 1
Ruthlessness - 2
Ability - 7

After the fall of Lovelyland centuries ago the crusader was reduced to wandering the political deserts seeking a quest.
He fought alongside Captain Ashdown of the guard and later Menzies the old.
Eventually he found a young lad who had run away from a village to seek his fortune and taught him the ways of the Shites Templars.

Catchphrase - I was the first to see the crisis coming...
Special Power - Always available for interviews
Magic Colour - Burnished Gold

Now, stats and write ups needed for

Nick Clegg
Nick Griffin
George Osborn
Dave Cameron
Ed Balls
Alistair Darling
Peter Mandelson
Harriet Harman

Best will be packaged into a Lord of the Spins 'special edition' ready for Christmas.


Letters From A Tory said...

Brown has ability 7? You mean ability to screw things up, presumably?

Harry Potter said...

The Blue Bard
Charisma - 8
Communication - 7
Guile & Cunning - 4
Ruthlessness - 6
Ability - ?

Led the Tories from the wilderness to the steps of the deep bunker.
* Ability is a random die determined figure by which way the weather-vane points.

Special Power - Translucence
Catchphrase - We need to change the way we change.
Magic colour - Turquoise

Budgie said...

Cameron the Fudge

Pudgy faced toff who loves to pretend he is the boy next door. Frantic to be seen as the next PM. Famous for hugging huskies and backing losers like Global Boring and the EU Mafia. He emulates his hero Pope Tone, by ignoring his own followers and pandering to those who will never support him, like the BBC. The result is a Tory party uniquely unfit to rectify the serial incompetence of his assumed predecessor.

Charisma - 1
Communication - 3
Guile & Cunning - 4
Ruthlessness - 7
Ability - 2

Catch phrases: 'Call me Dave' and 'We will never cut the NHS/leave the EU/reduce taxes/torture little bunnies'.

Favourite colour: Cast iron grey.

James Higham said...

Can you asses the cards of these modern day Superheroes

Don't quite know what you want us to do. Asses?

Bill Quango MP said...

Asses indeed JH.
Its easier just assign a magic colour to them all.
Cast Iron is a great one for Cameron, but I think turquoise, with its mix of Blue and green, shades it.

Magic colours for

Budgie said...

Magic colour for Balls has to be .... green. No, not 'green' as in self important 'evironmentalist', but sickly-green-with-envy-type-green.

Bill Quango MP said...

Nick Clegg - Saffron
Nick Griffin - Death Cowl Black
George Osborn - Blue-skies blue
Dave Cameron - Turquoise
Ed Balls - Swamp Green
Alistair Darling - Cardigan Beige
Peter Mandelson - Burnt Orange
Harriet Harman - Clitoral pink