Friday 19 March 2010

Please buy my book

Political and business memoirs like to have a flavour of the character or their political ideals contained within the title. President Obama's Audacity of Hope for instance. The ever dull John Major couldn't even manage a book title. -John Major - The auto biography. thrilling!

This weeks game is to devise more realistic titles for memoirs.

The Course of my life - Edward Heath
Free at Last! Tony Benn
Ann Widdecombe: Right from the Beginning
Prezza: My Story: Pulling No Punches

John Major: The Autobiography
Time to Declare
: David Owen
Tony Blair: Prime Minister

Speaking for Myself: Cherie Blair

BQ offers
- Edward Heath-Fingers in my ears
- Don't you ever get tired of being wrong? -Tony Benn
- Vidal Sassoon and me - Ann Widdecombe
- To Hull and back - John Prescott
- John Major - The Autobiography
- What have I done? - David Owen
- Taking the piss - Tony Blair
- Wide enough for both feet - Cherie Blair


Anonymous said...

Some suggestions:

Cherie Blair: How to look younger and thinner than you really are by using Adobe Photoshop

John Prescott: Prezza. My Story: this will make you feel sick

Lord Michael Levy: Dishonour Amongst Thieves

and in the worst possible taste...

Mark Eaten: Oh Shit - How one MP survived politics and turning forty with the help of rent boys

Anonymous said...

How to grin and lie through your teeth by
Antonius B'Liar

John M Ward said...

Possible Blair titles:

"Next stop, the Universe!"

"Roman Catholic, Roamin' the World".

Or, on a slightly different topic:

"Finding a Wife: Cherie-picking".

John M Ward said...

Oh, and an obvious one (though not from that list above):

"Whelan and Dealin'".

Mark Wadsworth said...

Tony Benn "I'm all right, Jack"
Ann Widdecombe "I'm all right, Jill"
Prezza: "I'm, all right, Jack"
John Major: "Just remind me, who was John Major?"
David Owen: "I'm all right, Jock"
Tony Blair: "I'm all right, Jack P Morgan"
Cherie Blair: "Y'all right, Jack?"

Budgie said...

Presclott - Pie in the Sky: the Anorexic's View.

Presclott - Chippy in China.

Gordon Bruin - Feel the Honesty and Fake It Anyway.

Michael Martin - Feel the Cash and Take It Anyway.

Peter Mandleson - Pussy.

Charles Kennedy - Pissy.

George Galloway - The Jewish Handbook.

John Bercow - Sally's Alley, and Other Well Known Places.

All MPs - C.A.S.H.

George Osborne - Counting for Dummies.

Cliff Hanger said...

Edward Heath - Everyone loves a sailor except the Tory party.

Tony Benn - On the re cord.

Gordon Brown - I saved the world and other fairy stories.

Peter Mandelson - Machiavelli's 'The Ponce.'

Steven_L said...

Achieving the Dream: Irreversable Distruction of the Middle Classes, G. Brown.

mark said...

I'm sure Britain's printer extraordinaire could manage three volumes.

Mervyn King - Darling we can't go on like this

Mervyn King - Stop with all ya fussing the're just bits of coloured paper

Mervyn King - QE: From Here to Eternity

mark said...

Gordon Brown - Keeping Britain Safe: Our War with Iceland

Gordon Brown - Where to buy top quality stationery that lasts

Gordon Brown - How I saved the Wuld following the Globbal Bonking Crisuss.

And finally, one that is not original but is my personal favourite

Gordon Brown: Cyclopollapse

mark said...

Alastair Campbell - **** ya ****ing ****ers

Bill Quango MP said...

Commissioner Ian Blair - "I was Only Following Orders."

Fred Goodwin - "Laughing all the way from the bank."

"Toddler's Reward Chart and Sticker book" - Nick Clegg

Bob Crow - "No Deal or No Deal."

Budgie said...

I vote for Cliff Hanger's "Peter Mandelson - Machiavelli's 'The Ponce.'"

Budgie said...

After mark ....

Gordon Brown - Armaggordon

Gordon Brown - Brown Out

Anon@9.30 said...

- Edward Heath

My life cruising round bouys

- Tony Benn

All my life on tape. Apart from the truth.

- Ann Widdecombe

john major was my bitch

- Prezza

The life of pi

- John Major

A life in bondage - but not to the Tories

- David Owen

I coudda been a contender

- Tony Blair

You can fool them all, all the time
Transform yourself into a revered world leader in 7 steps.

- Cherie Blair

Dont believe the pictures.

Anonymous said...

My Camp - Mandelson

Anonymous said...

Mandelson: Life's one big bummer

Bill Quango MP said...

So far top five are

Lakelander's world renowned photoshops of Prescott.

Budgie's Gordon Brown - Armaggordon

Cliff Hanger's "Peter Mandelson - Machiavelli's 'The Ponce.'"

Mark's Mervyn King - QE: From Here to Eternity

Anon@9.30's - Edward Heath
My life cruising round bouys

And John M Ward's "Whelan and Dealin'".

{I realise that's actually six but its a labour government so numbers mean nothing}

Demetrius said...

Heath: My Life Was A Curse
Benn: My Big Bristols
Widdecombe: I Was Always Right
Major: The Autopilot
Owen: Time To Dissect
Blair: Offshore And Proud Of It.
Cherie: Speke Off (this is a strictly scouse joke).

Demetrius said...


Missed one:

Prescott: Pulling My Pud With Pauline.

James Higham said...

Or Obama's sequel - Sheer Bloody Audacity.

Philipa said...

Tony Blair: Naked non-stick ambition.
John Major: who?
Edward Heath: Women - I think we're allowed to make a judgement.
John Prescott: shoulders and chips.
Cherie Blair: Fat arse and a fat trap.
Gordon Brown: saving the world.
Micheal Martin: A sense of entitlement.
Tim Loughton: Media and political whoring 101.

Anonymous said...

How about??
Ian Duncan Smith - an Autobiography
By anonymous.