Thursday 13 January 2011

Question fest

The return of the never understood,rarely missed, Question Time guessathon, quiz.
YOU choose what you think the panel may be asked by the audience. YOU put those guess questions into the comments... points are awarded for accuracy, style, exclusivity, humour and sometimes just randomly. For our readers without a telly..its just like 'any questions' only less middle class.

This season totals will be kept and updated each week
YOU decide!

David Dimbleby is joined in London by

Michael Gove MP,{This baby's all for turning. Gaffer Gove is ed-sec.}
Diane Abbott MP {education minister with education she says very little on schools.}
Charles Kennedy MP,{ taking a tough stance on con-lib unity while stabbing himself through the kneecaps with his pen muttering I warned you Nick..I warned you..}
Jeanette Winterson{lesbian novelist..sermoniser. You'd never guess.}
James Caan {eldest son of Vito Corleone, cruelly slain. Or possibly that entrepreneur/ philanthropist bloke of the Dragon's program}

BQ predicts.

1- Bank bonuses are out of control
2- Corrupt MPs are out of control
3 - School league tables are out of control
4 -Lib Dem vote share is collapsing out of control
5 -Fuel prices are out of control.


Miss CD said...

1. Banker bonuses
2. Should more mps be jailed
3. old and sad by election polling, Lib Dem death.
4. Assange arrest.
5. Flooding around the globe.

Nick Drew said...

1. Australian rainfall is out of control
2. Inflation ditto
3. Should BBC retain its wrinklies, or is Dimblebore well beyond his sell-by date ?
4. Is that a hip-flask in your pocket, Kennedy, or did you dislocate your hip the last time you fell over in the street ?
5. Beckham at Spurs, what's that all about ?

Can't imagine they'll dare to let anyone raise asian sex gangs ...

James Higham said...

What's a telly?

Timbo614 said...

Welcome to the new season all... If fact before visiting C@W I'd forgotten it was on.

1) School performance re-assessment (abysmal) in the light of "A test we did not know about" surely the best kind?
2) Lib Dem By-election vote collapse (is it almost guaranteed)?
3) OK. Bank Bonuses in Particular Eric (Up Yours) Daniels 2m Quid.
4) Floods - is this the real Climate change in the (near) Warmest year on Record.
5) How can there be any Climate "Warming" when it snows in Surrey in December?
6) U.S. banning books - "Catcher 2" and re-writing history in Huckleberry Finn unless the "N" word is changed to "Slave"? (maybe at the end).

RE: New Rules and league tables:

Are there to be "bonus points" for the order or just the usual random allocation for getting the word "Are" and "They" in the correct order :) ?

Should there be 2 "divisions" one for regulars and one (lower) for "Droppers In"?

Just want the rules all fair and square before they are totally ignored by the CWQTA ruling body!

andrew said...

Was 2.5 years enough to extinguish youthful stupidity? compare this to 18 months for white collar crime.

Is an average bonus that is ~10 times average salaries fair

Are the manchester cutbacks due to central govt cutbacks or local govt inefficiency

Are record (again) exam results a sign of children getting cleverer or children having the youth and spirit squeezed out of them

Given the choice what part of govt would you cut back first.

Malcolm Tucker said...

* Bonuses should be none.
* Council cuts. How many lollipop ladies must be cut?
* Newscorp Sky bid & Telegraph undercover blondes.
* Right wing rhetoric. Palin killed the congresswoman.
*Vat increase has doomed Britain.

hatfield girl said...

Why did 5 out of 6 school children, wholly educated under the Labour regime fail to get even 5 Cs in school subjects?

Why did some Labour ministers buy private education for their school-age children during the Labour years?

What can be done to provide remedial education for the 5 out of 6 16 year-olds without basic educational skills?

Why are targets for school-leaving certificates still set so low?

Can members of the panel speak any languages (including English but preferably as well as).

What is 9 times 7? 113 take away 16? 37 divided by 6 (you may have a remainder if you can find it)? 17 add 56?

Miss S-J said...

Welcome back all.

1. Ageism at the BBC and scrapping the retirement age.

2. MPs in jail.

3. AV is the last hope for Clegg. If that fails he's out?

4. Why are schools so poor at results

5. The Euro. Is it all better now Estonia has signed up?

Timbo614 said...

@hatfield girl

Are you just trying to give Diane a bad hair day?

Arithmetic questions: "Can I use a calculator"?

Bill Quango MP said...

Opening salvo:

1. Banker bonuses.. Dimby gives us an easy one to start with. Dianne A. Gets some digs in. Gove gets some better ones. Now what's he going to do about. That's going to be a C@W post. Jeanette Winterson does fair society.Doesn't answer the question on what replaces bank revenues at the treasury James Caan is better informed. Charles Kennedy adds little

2.Lib Dem Oldham question. Charles Kennedy does the manful supporter bit.DA says people angry at Libs. She means Lib-Labs but I can't disagree. JW is disgusted and wants to vote Labour.

3. Pakistani race rape question. Didn't think that would get in! JC does the liberal answer- its crime not race. Will all follow suit?

4. School exams and failure. JW- standards urgently need improving. DA switches question to cuts.JC nails it. Stop teaching crap subjects exclusively.

5. Ageism question. Miriam O'Reilley. Dimbleby is 73!

Bill Quango MP said...


BQ - 3

Miss CD - 2

ND - 1 + 0.5 for the Asian issue and 0.5 for the wrinkle spot.

JH - Its like a wireless but with moving pictures.

Timbo614 - 3. The rules are taken from the FIFA rulebook and are subject to change without notice. Just the one division. If you're bottom though its relegation to the News quiz.

Andrew -2 {but they should have asked the student crime one}

Malcolm Tucker - 1 {ohhh.. the new Liverpool Malcolm?}

Hatfield Girl. 1 +.5 for catching the dismay of the teachers. Were no parents in the audience?

Miss S-J - 3 + .5 for ancient presenters.

Lets have a look at the league table with Alan Hansen.

Miss S-J -- 3.5
BQ -- 3
Timbo614 -- 3
Miss CD --2
Malcolm --2
Nick Drew --2
Hatfield girl --1.5
Malcolm Tucker -- 1
James Higham -- 0

Dick the Prick said...

BQ's Statto and I claim my red rosette on a donkey! The mad lezzy lib dem author was pretty darned tedious and did James Caan nip out for half an hour?

Bill Quango MP said...

Dick the Prick.

She is always dull. Not as mad as her religious/gay/intellectual/fantasy background should allow. Just a bit damp.

I know what you mean about the dragon.
I was half expecting Dimbleby to do a wrathful Captain Kirk..


Demetrius said...

They could discuss the proposition that there is nothing that is in control or likely to be.