Friday 19 August 2011

Friday competition. David Starkey edition

David Starkey's media career was in jeopardy until he agreed to adopt a more 'youth-friendly, race aware, politically correct' attitude on his history programs.

"Yoh, you youth
You wanna listen to me
I know ’bout Hen-ree
And Anne B.
Ho, give her cherry

On Henry’s bone,
So he broke with Rome
And set off
The Reformation
Of the nation
Caused damnation
Raised taxation.

Hear my narration.

I'm 'em sea,

The Pope said
'Mary is now successor,
Henry was Lord Protector.
Now he's a defector.
"I'm no Conscientious Objector
I'm gonna put a crossbow bolt in his ass.'

Henry wasn't timid,
He was livid
So he dissolved the Monasteries

Listen to my commentaries."

Dr Dave.
Starkee M.C.

This weekends compo:

Best historical Starkey 'in your best rap culture' prose into the comments.

And C@W have even managed to scoop some video footage from M.C. Starkee's new, youth aware, musically in-tune, speak like it's spoken, program on

Henry VIII and the Tudors.


Electro-Kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Electro-Kevin said...

I do believe that David Starkey is already becoming rhyming slang for 'darkie.'

A pity. His was probably the most insightful comment to be made on the recent upheavels and put his foot right in it.

(I hasten to add that my own identical observation was made more sensatively a few days before his.)

Rap culture has caught hold in many white areas now - it is because the 80s 'race' riots precipitated a backing-off by the state and the police from culturally sensative areas.

The precedents and legal and educational changes brought by this - along with Rap culture transmitted by MTV - gave rise to 'chav' (babyfather)culture in white areas of Britain at the very time that young people ought to have been preparing themselves to compete in the boom that Thatcher paved the way for. The State was set up to fund and defend it - when they couldn't defend it logically they changed the language of the debate with Political Correctness.

Starkey was bang on the money. Sadly he's misrepresented himself and the one opportunity to tackle this rise of state-sponsored barbarianism will be missed.

Now we have the backlash against the backlash and the status quo will remain.

If you think I'm racist for saying this then please read my most recent blog post.

We're completely fucked.

Malcolm Tucker said...

On Newsnight,
He was dun' up tight,
by the BBC,
Poor old D.C.

Speakin' the truth,
'bout the youth,
So, its no mystery
That Dave is history.

He's a busted Thane,
Won't see him again,
'Cept with some bore,
Late night On BBC Four

Even tho' he no longer fits the bill,
They all got schedules to fill.

James Higham said...

You and I would never agree to that, Bill.

asquith said...

Starkey can seek inspiration here:,life,video,allen-samuels-aka-asamuels-the-55-year-old-rapper-starts-livin-de-life-with-video

(sorry- will see myself out)