Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Question Time warm up.

The world famous question Time competition begins tomorrow night. For the benefits of the uninitiated, here are the rules again.

You guess questions from the 4 or that will be asked by the hand picked audience. A point is awarded for each correct choice plus completely arbitrary bonus points for predicting a key word, theme or phrase from members of the panel and a few other special undisclosed reasons. All guesses drop into the comments.

There is no requirement or need to actually watch BBC1 's Question Time. In fact cardiovascular clinics recommend you don't. All you need to do is consider the most likely news worthy to have arisen recently. Compare that to the show's location and consider the panel. Condition your mind to operate as a media executive, Guardian reading, Liberal vegetarian, rating chasing producer might view the world, and you're there.

Or you can do as previous winners have done and just make random,blind guesses.

As an example : Question Time returns on Thursday 8 September 2011. David Dimbleby will be joined in London by
Liam Fox,{defence cuts to front-line troops.}
David Miliband, {why did you allow torture when you said you didn't?}
Richard Perle,{ well, it could be anything! His defence of Israel. His advocacy of regime and then his withdrawal of support when it all went wrong. US congress budget disaster.9/11 anniversary. But probably there for his role as advisor to Mad Dog.}
Bonnie Greer,{could be many things. Riots and poverty would be my guess.}
Tariq Ali { Libya and torture..general Tory cuts opposer}
and Christina Schmid.{widow of the bomb disposal hero. An Afghanistan question. British Council compound attack ?}

The first one is always the hardest as many weeks worth of news are available.

This season BQ will send out some live chat tweets which will be interned directly to you if you subscribe to @BillQuango , or so I'm informed.

So there you have it. Early guesses can be entered here.

"Cry Ad Hoc, and let slip the blogs of war!"

Final Standings Summer edition

Measured -24.5

Botogol - 23

Mark Wadsworth -21.5

Appointmetotheboard -21

Dick the Prick -19.5

Bill Quango MP -19.5

Miss S-J -18.5

Nick Drew -18

Malcolm Tucker -18

GSD - 17

Timbo614 - 14.5

Miss CD -14

City Unslicker -14

Hatfield Girl -13.5

Philipa -11.5

Budgie -10

Andrew - 9.5

Hopper -5

Lilith - 5

Jan -3.5

Amy -2.5
Blue Eyes -2.5

Hovis -2


Woman on a Raft said...

I bet nobody is allowed to ask about Margaret Moran and if anybody mentions her by mistake then Dimbleby will jump in squawking "Sub-juicypig".

Bill Quango MP said...


And there is the first ½ point of the season!

Sebastian Weetabix said...

1. Sacking troops/airman on duty - disgusting etc.
2. Riots - aren't they rich people's fault/down to oppression of minorities?
3. Why aren't we doing anything about Syria/ why is it ok to bomb Libya but not the wicked Israelis
4. Where is plan B/stop the deficit reduction plan?

I bet Richard Perle is interrupted by the Dimbleturd within 10 seconds, Liam Fox within 5 and Tariq Ali & Millitwat get to ramble for at least a minute unhindered. Bonnie Greer will never be interrupted at all and the splendid Mrs Schmid will be gently patronised.

(w.v. chinless! How apt)

Electro-Kevin said...

Should the Red or Black prize winning thug have been allowed to keep the money ?

My answer ? An emphatic no.

The TV station has fucked up and for commercial reasons alone they shouldn't have done it.

For once they could have entertained us all in a way that would have been priceless and taken up where our legal system has so abjectly failed:

So that we get to see this nasty little bastard's money taken from before his eyes and for once in his life - FOR ONCE he is truly sorry.

Alas life's never that sweet.


That's all folks. Back on with the competition.

Bill Quango MP said...

EK - why shouldn't he though?
If he is injured he still gets 'free' medical. He can claim free benefits.Free housing. There is no society testing for these things. If he went blind, he'd still get free TV, regardless of whether he is a thug or not.
If he wins the lottery..then he wins the lottery!

However it would have been great TV to let him win and then confiscate the prize to pay back debts to society. An instant youtube classic.

hovis said...

So I dont forget and may outscore myself from the woeful summer edition:

1 Defense
Defense cuts whilst we're still fighting in afghanistan ( a nod to Mrs Schmid) and still bombing Libya - With the aim to show Fox and the Tory's are breaking the covenant etc - hoist them by their own petard )

2. Libya - where's Ghaddafi? ...leading to ramblings of is the situation now worse ? will it be mayhem ( allowing Perle and Ali to spout forth) oh maybe a soupcon of rendering rebels to Ghadaffi in ther too

3. Riots - is the justice system broken or is it really society that is broken in broken (and broke) racist Britain (far too tempting not to have Bonny Greer and Tariq Ali on and not allow them to see any question through the prism of race surely?

4. Recession - shouldnt Osbourse stop cutting with us nose-diving into rescession ( Ok there have been increases in spending but its the CUTS!! )

5 last question qill either be the Red and Black contestant - does he "deserve" to win Alternative question is Nadine Dorries (and or her abortion bill) evil incarnate ? ( of the two I think it'll be the former)

Electro-Kevin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Electro-Kevin said...

BQ - An instant YouTube classic as you say.

The difference between the state and ITV is that ITV had no real legal compunction to pay up.

ITV is paying dearly in viewer revolt and damaged reputation. For commercial reasons alone they shouldn't have done it.

But say there was a claim of contractual obligation this could be disputed and I think it would be worth doing so. He witheld important details - technically he could contest this in court ... so let him then. Let's have some fun watching the bastard squirm and grovel. All good tv and restorative as far as the company reputation is concerned.

The chap is clearly unrepentant. He has not even considered a 250k payment to his victim.

The major difference with the Lottery is that entering it does not deny a decent person the right to play as has happened in this case.

Yes. I think that there should be a distinction made between those with convictions and those without - all part of the deterrent.

When we agree that crims should be given a 'second chance' we don't mean THAT sort of chance. We mean a chance to return to society and conrtibute to it, a right to retrain and make a good life.

All indications are that this chap is still up to his old ways. Allegations of beating up his latest girlfriend with reports of brain injuries being involved.

No. I don't want people like that applauded on TV - especially not winning large amounts of money.

I expect that Red or Black will get pulled rather proving my point.

PS - do I get a point if my question comes up on QT ?

Bill Quango MP said...

EK - I concede the point. And double points if that question comes up and someone takes your side on it. Looking at the panel I believe its more likely they'd say he needs extra money for all the media stress the poor lamb has had to endure.

hatfield girl said...

'Condition your mind to operate as a media executive, Guardian reading, Liberal vegetarian, rating chasing producer might view the world,'

That's disgusting! What do you do if the wind changes while wearing such a mental expression? You'd be stuck like that for ever.

Can't they be asked what sexual bent they'd like satisfied should they get invited for dinner to the Prime Minister's official residence in Rome by the Italian Prime Minister? Repubblica and Il Fatto report that the Bari prosecutor's office is about to publish the most detailed discussions between Berlusconi and his women-supplier of what was on offer last time, and what B would like supplied next.

Then there's that Mrs Merkel setting up a 'core Europe' with an entire secretariat and financial institutions, leaving the European Commission high and dry with its miserable little income and the anti-EU British still arguing about in or out: they're out - of Core anyway. Does it suit? Back to deGaulle and last century?

And Russia's filling up Nordstream with gas headed straight for Germany (haven't they been quick building the pipeline), while Italy and France are well-positioned for all that Libyan oil and gas in a couple of months: don't the panel feel the UK is a bit out of it on the energy fronts?

On a lighter note, if you're heading for a shindig on a Greek island would the panel just take a couple of new cozzies, or would it be wiser to wear a heavy gold chain and perhaps bracelets as well? Just in case the Core decides not to let Greece stay because of fiscal disobedience, and services fail.

For a risky fifth question: should we be investing in Cherry Blossom in view of the de rigeur flat boots in supplest black or chestnut leather that slide down the legs into crumples at the ankle (unless you have fat legs but then you wouldn't be wearing them) and are going to need a lot of polishing this winter?

Mark Wadsworth said...

Well, you early declarers are being very brave, the Queen might get bitten by a rabid corgi tomorrow or something REALLY newsworthy.

Bill Quango MP said...

HG: I thought I'd taken that offensive line out.
I meant of course, Enlightened, social democratic, progressive, forward thinking, community aware, nurturing thinkers.

MW : Its a clever tactic. Like the minimum amount direct debit payment on the credit cards. That way Q's get recorded. But they can be changed at any time up to kick-off.

Hovis: no one fancies Nadine Dorries then?
I could rephrase that. No one fancies Nadine highlighting coalition splits or pro life issues then?

Timbo614 said...

I'm with MW - dither till the last moment then, err, shoot wildly.

Having said that:

Riots; Black & red (had not heard of it 'till today); Euro crash; Cuts by evil tories; and err.. a wildcard...

Timbo614 said...

* Forecasts correct at time of going to press, subject to revision, prices may rise as well as fall; the competitor is not responsible for events outside his control, this is not an acceptance of your answers, your answers may be rejected at the discretion of the anserwee. (further terms and conditions apply, see panel in 4pt. times new squiggle(TM))

Electro-Kevin said...

BQ - You shouldn't concede the point. I was being far too serious about it all and you were being kindly and sensible and who-cares-who-wins about it all and demonstrating some class.

Got my not-too-serious head on now.

Why not run another compo (as well as QT) on who can create the best pun from the news. Like Sun headlines.

My post today was Moral Cowell-dice. (Apropos dick-head discussed earlier)

I'm sure your visitors could come up with some real corkers.

Jan said...

I only have 1 question:

Is the use of torture ever morally justified?

Bill Quango MP said...

EK.. maybe for the weekend? if you haven't done it over at yours first.

Jan.. erm..well.erm...I'll leave that for David Miliband to not answer.

Timbo: times new squiggle? Is there an App for that?

GSD said...

Sub-juicypig - brilliant! I won't be able to read the real words now without doing a mental translation!

No real idea of what is inflaming the nation atm, so my guesses are:

1) Childcare costs: really, really expensive (who'd have guessed?). Should the state fork out even more money to pay for it or is it the responsibility of the parents?

2) (Alleged) MI6 use of Libyan torture services + (proven) Iraqi prisoner abuse. Should the responsible people be prosecuted under international law & How high up should the search for the guilty go?

3) Defense cuts: right or wrong?

4) Riots: Does the fact that 70+% (I think that's the figure I read, but it seems really high, so I may well be wrong there!) of the rioters had previous convictions show that the current criminal justice system is failing?

5) Will the timetable for the Afghan withdrawal work?

Botogol said...

OK, rolls up sleeves, sharpens pen, cleans out between the keys on the keyboard etc... Good Luck to all and bang...

1) Was invading Iraq and Afghanistan all a terrible knee jerk reaction to 9/11, more imperialism, losing the goodwill we had, and turning muslim world against us?

2) um, OR.. does the Arab Spring show that the ten year war on terror has been triumphantly won ?

Guidance to the panel: don't worry if your answers to (1) and (2) are inconsistent. No one will notice.

3) With the death of Osama Whats-his-name, is Al-Queda a finished force (or was it a mirage all along?)

4) Has the 'security agenda' and the intrusion into our personal liberties prompted by 9/11 meant that the terorists have won in the end?

5) Does our use of torture and imprisonment without trial make us just as bad as the 9/11 bombers.

Phrase of the day -- new world paradigm

Looking fwd to it -- I have a feeling we will see a new energised and bumptious Dimbleby, keen to justify his new contract.

Nick Drew said...

Here we go. NB readymade excuse, am abroad and therefore not able to feel the pulse of the nation *takes out onion, violins play*

1. al-Megrahi, should we 'ave 'im back to face the music ?

2. torturers and general abusers of humanity, British, Libyan, CIA etc etc, Miliband this includes you

3. 9/11 anniversary question, something mawkish, have we done the right things in the ensuing decade ?

Now the serious stuff

4. Eurozone meltdown: eyes on the ball guys, this is bigger than anything, except possibly ...

5. (from the parochial UK perspective) ... UK growth - whatever happened to ? (or German for that matter)

Hopper said...

Good luck to all; here goes....

1. 10 years from 9/11 - are we now living in a safer world or has the US made things worse for everyone? Expect particularly bad weaseling from Miliband.

2. should we be damning MI6 and former govt ministers for cosying up to the old Libya regime? Maybe a followup or tangent from the panel about whether it was right for UK/France/USA to interfere militarily.

3. (going to gamble a bit here) should the government be interfering with what goes on in abortion clinics?

4. Dale Farm - is removal of people who ignore planning permission tatamount to ethnic cleansing?

Guessing no 5th question tonight.

Woman on a Raft said...

1) Justice system discuss, without using use the word 'feral'.
2) Eurozone Isn't it going splendidly despite all you Little Englanders
3) 9/11 and Libya How clever of Tony Blair to make friends with him and collapse the regime from the inside.
4) Sacking of servicemen It's all Thatcher's fault.

Jolly question about
5) what did MPS do on their holidays

Please note, Sub-juicypig is a proper legal term because my colleague The Fat Bigot told it to me.