Wednesday 26 October 2011

"I love the smell of eurofudge in the morning; it smells like..."

Fitting the misquote in the title is taken from a film entitled 'Apocalypse Now' (still one of my fave all time films, showing my age I guess).

But today is the day, senior politicians from around Europe are gathering in Brussels for a massive fudge baking contest. the ingredients have been chosen and mixed by legions of expensive eurocrats and sundry non-jobbers for a few weeks now. All that is needed is to switch the oven on and see whether we get a rise or a burn.

So, to kick the day off, I thought we should come up with some sharp marketing spiel for the Politicians, whatever they do they are going to need to sell it so some viral branding is essential. My effort is:

"Eurofudge, sweet to bite with a long, bitter aftertaste"

(if have you ever eaten any of this salted chocolate stuff that is being pushed now - its the same concept)

Your efforts please...


David Goswell said...

"Reassuringly expensive"

There should be a health warning too, "too much fudge is bad for your health".

Jokes aside, why do these politicians keep serving up the same dishes and then force-feeding them the people of Europe. There's nothing sweet about the fudge, it is costing jobs, destroying savings and damaging prosperity.

Bill Quango MP said...

Eurofudge - Doesn't do exactly what it says on the tin.

Andrew Neil said...

m m m m ... Eurofudge

Anonymous said...

Eurofudge deluxe.
Comes in a presentation Euro championship tincan that can be endlessly kicked down the road.

Bill Quango MP said...


German sweat
Dutch vinegar
Irish austerity
Gallic shrugs

*Note: this product does not contain urine. Our Greek workers have been taking the piss for years.

Sean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sean said...

Ive had another meeting and made some changes, this is the bazooka btw, the big one

A euro Fudge is just enough to give your Bankers a treat.

A euro Fudge is just enough until it's time to Flee.

It's full of Eurocrat goodness
And very large and neat

A euro Fudge is just enough to give your Bankers a treat

idle said...

Eurofudge - presented beautifully, delivered safely.... because - and you know this is true - we are the Best Fudgepackers you've ever seen.

Budgie said...

Eurofudge - Made to make your eyes water.

Eurofudge - More out of this world than Coke.

Eurofudge - We try harder - to take your cash.

Eurofudge - I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle - oh, and everything else you've got.

Eurofudge - yeah, you can take a photo of the fire - 5 trillion dollars!

Eurofudge - Reach out and touch someone for even more cash.

Eurofudge - Sweet as the moment when the eurozone went 'pop'.

Eurofudge - We never forget you don't have a choice.

Eurofudge - A dog is for life not just this Christmas.

Timbo614 said...

EuroFudge - because bankers won't budge!

Peter Mandelson said...

Yes Mr Idle, whenever I'm feeling down I always love a good finger of Brussels fudge.

I hear Mr Berlusconi has been feeling down quite a lot recently.

andrew said...

Euro fudge

- The sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your credit rating

- Now contains added Yauro which provides monetary relief (if symptoms persist, you should contact a doctor)

- Now in 17 new improved flavours (* just like the old ones)

Sweetshopist said...

Fudge, fudge, Glorious Fudge
Nothing quite like it for bribing a judge
So follow me follow
Down to the hollow
and there let us wallow
in Glorious Fudge

(With apologies to F&S)

Electro-Kevin said...

A Eurofudge a day makes you work, work and

(That's if you're lucky enough to have a job after you've eaten it.)


alan said...

EUROCRAT: And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin fudge.
EU: Nah.
EUROCRAT: Oh, sir, it's only a tiny, little, thin one.
EU: No. Fuck off. I'm full.
EUROCRAT: Oh, sir. Hmm?
EU: [groan]
EUROCRAT: It's only wafer thin.
EU: Look. I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
EUROCRAT: Oh, sir, just-- just one.
EU: [groaning] All right. Just one.
EUROCRAT: Just the one, monsieur. Voilà.
EU: [groaning]
EUROCRAT: Bon appétit.
EUROCRAT: Thank you, sir, and now, here's ze check. only a tiny little thin one...

The original can be found here..

Laban said...

This Apocalypse Now quote has often come in handy at work :

Kurtz: Are my methods unsound?
Willard: I don't see any method at all, sir.

James Higham said...

You missed your calling, CUS.

Bill Quango MP said...

Laban: We all like a bit of Apocalypse Now here. Especially that phrase.

See this post

Anonymous said...

I have in my hand a piece of Euro fudge, baked by Herr Merkel...

Anonymous said...

We have received your Euro fudge order, delivery from black helicopters will begin shortly.