Wednesday 31 July 2013

Tweetgate!

Surely the only sensible thing to do now in the face of feminist outrage is to close twitter forever? You may think it over-reacting...

but...here are some very good reasons to close twitter:

1 - Feminists are unhappy.
2 - It does not make any money and many wonder if it ever will. One day an IPO will take place and remove millions of dollars from retail investors hoodwinked by a false prospectus.
3 - Twitter really does achieve very little apart from hot air and generates heat without light.
4 - Stopping twitter would free up time for people to do something more interesting than tweeting they are hungry or the roads are bit wet when it rains.
5 - Sports and other journalists would have to go back to work instead of filling papers with the often moronic tweets, maybe the quality of the journalism would improve!

So there we go, ban it, simples! Where is a Labour Government when we need it!

12 comments:

Sackerson said...

Ban bans.

andrew said...

If you ban bans,
how do you ban bans?


Also, if you ban bans, then all marriages will be in registry offices, or maybe no-one will know about the marriage and so not turn up.

Sackerson said...

For marriages you'd use a graphic display outside the register office - a bann banner.

BTW, I like this guy from Agence Communication - so positive. He can come again. How come he never visits my site?

Nick Drew said...

might it also send Stephen Fry into a tailspin ?

please ?

James Higham said...

Surely the only sensible thing to do now in the face of feminist outrage is to close twitter forever?

LOL.

Timbo614 said...

Just ban women from it!

Then all the chatter would be sensible and about sheds, engines and beer :)

problem solved - Fancy a Guinness?

Blue Eyes said...

CU I have been thinking along similar lines. I use Twitter but it has jumped the shark and I really tweet with my tongue firmly in cheek. Lunch-related, mostly.

I am hoping that the result of tweetgate/trolliday/whatever is that someone sets up a rival "sanitised" twitter that everyone can avoid.

I think it's totally ridiculous now the number of newspaper articles that are based on twitter conversations between "celebs". Srsly?

Anonymous said...

I'm not on twatter, what have I missed? If it has offended feminazis then it must be a good thing.

Nick Drew said...

Still, it did for La Bercow, so we shouldn't be too harsh ...

hovis said...

"might it also send Stephen Fry into a tailspin ?"

Surely that is only a good thing? The sooner that mediocre overrated odious creep gets off the media the better.

Sackerson said...

To all: I've just launched World Tweet Like A Celebrity Day, please help make it a success:

http://theylaughedatnoah.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/world-tweet-like-celeb-day.html

Sackerson said...

UPDATE (2 Aug 2013)

Well, that was a damp squib! Mind you, I can't blame anybody, for I got bored talking about myself in very short order - how on earth do celebs manage it? So tiring.

On the plus side, at least one Twitter follower has delisted me, but I can't be bothered to find out who.

Who reads tweets anyhow? If you follow a lot of people then each message soon gets pushed lower down as the list lengthens. You'd have to be online practically all the time. Is this service tailor made for iPhone owners with OCD?

Thanks to Bill Quango and Paddington for their comments.