Friday, 21 December 2018

Last minute offers. Christmas bargains 2018

The 2018 Christmas Political Online Emporium.
All your gifting needs.

The Jeremy Corbyn Trouser Creaser.


Related imageThis versatile trouser creaser is the perfect device for ironing in creases and folds into everyday work and leisure wear to give that authentic socialist 'hedge-backwards' effect.
Simply leave an old teacher's jacket, bought from an Ofxam, in the creaser and overnight it will crumple the most hard wearing of fabrics to give that Embankment sleeper appeal. Also works on polyester and nylon shell suits.



Kick the Can!

The fun can kicking game for all the euro-family. Whoever kicks the can the furthest claims "Not my problem anymore!" Best played with 28 or more.
 Image result for kick the can

Contents:
1 set of can-kicking instructions.
1 packet of head burying sand
1 sturdy tin can

EuroFudge.
The ever popular Euro dessert has been a favoured option since 1955.
Made with lashings of stodgy, flavourless, euro fudge, the pre-prepared dish is placed in our artisans oven and half-baked for as long as it takes for the fudge to be partly agreed by all.
Best with nuts. Lemons or 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
{Not available in Greece.}



The Jacob Rees-Fogg Lamp

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/39/f5/42/39f54267e52a11245e5e046fd080548f--london-photography-film-photography.jpgFor those gloomy, dark, dank, fetid, post-brexit days; the Rees-Fogg will shine a beacon of light to illuminate the path of the country. Lighting the way through the impenetrable Whitehall bureaucracy and can't do attitude to Brexit, the Rees-Fogg lamp will shine through the Hammond greyness, to a better place. Can also be used to guide ships trapped by adverse weather when the continent becomes cut off.





The Hardboard Hard-border.
This unique border is made from 3mm hardboard and gives all the
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/54/Cattle_grid_on_B797_to_Wanlockhead_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1503852.jpg
appearances of a real border.

Easy to install. Simply nail a piece of hardboard to a post. Write
'You are now entering the United Kingdom. Show your passport if you really must"
on it.
And declare the border done.
Available in Clear Transparent. Whitewash or Cork.

The Vince Cable channel.
Subscribe your frail and dementia suffering loved ones to the Vince Cable channel. Features the reassuring voice from yesteryear, of Vince himself. A range of television stations features all the classic memories from past glories. The unlikely lads. Are you not really being served very well? Steptoe and chancellor. And Liberals and Democrats, Deceased.
Plus a host of drama, thriller and film noir from the golden age of Holyrood.
http://i.huffpost.com/gen/2461296/thumbs/o-DANNY-ALEXANDER-VINCE-CABLE-facebook.jpg
The guy who came in from the cold


Treasured memories from a bygone age {1911}.

Many more fabulous gifting products available!

The Andrew Neil, garden kneeler.
Tim Shipman in a bottle.
Tommy Robinson's lemon barley water.
The Jacob Rees-Mug coffee cup.
Jon Sopel-on-a-rope. 

And for spring 2019, transform your outdoor space with these garden and landscaping products. Ideal whether you have an Iain Dale. A Michael Grove.
Or simply a Miranda Green.
Need to tend your Jeremy Vine's or trim your Margaret Hedge? Prune back the  Tulip Siddiqs, Stephen Twiggs or Isabel Oaktrees?
  Or simply enjoy, on a cold winter's evening, a brisk Kirsty Wark in the moonlight. The 2019 March collection will have everything for you.

*subject to possible Brexit supply chain delays. Orders may take up 84 months to pass customs.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I dont want your landscaping product after its been trimming Margarets Hedge.

Or one of those dead Bushes.

Mark Wadsworth said...

I choose the kicking the can game.

We live on a steep hill, so if you kick it into a straight line roll, it will travel for hundreds of yards.

Bill Quango MP said...

Hello MW- Plenty more items available

"The Trump Pump" - Very good for inflating assets.

"The Irish Teashoppe teasmade." Now with Eurofudge flavour.

"The Corbyn Core-bin." Any lifetime policies or causes or core beliefs can be dumped into the Core-binif power looks a likely prospect.

"The Mayday backdoor backstop." Keeps a backdoor open for easy access to rejoining the EU. Attaches permanently to any document.

Add your own...

Anon 8:58 again said...

I dont want anything to do with May's backdoor either.

Or Rump's pump.

E-K said...

I want The Wife's Wife.

A woman that comes in and martyrs herself over Christmas prep. but then doesn't blame me for wanting it all. (I don't.)

FUCK Christmas.

AndrewZ said...

Dash cams are a popular gift. Try the “Remainer” model – it only looks backwards, and if you’re driving in Greece it automatically shuts itself down because there has absolutely positively never been any kind of crash there whatsoever.

The “Norway” model has lots of features and is reasonably priced but nobody buys it because of the hostile online reviews left by rival manufacturers. Amazon customer “JReesMogg1927” gives it one star, claiming that it’s made by child slaves in Mordor and when you press the start button a swarm of radioactive wasps flies out and eats your face.

The “Canada” model is a 1980s Polaroid instant camera taped to the dashboard and the “No Deal” model is just a sketchbook and pencil. This gets a five-star review from “JReesMogg1927”, who assures us that it is perfectly sufficient as long as one’s chauffeur is a moderately competent draughtsman.

Merry Brexmas one and all, let’s get totally Junckered!

Timbo614 said...

Are you hanging on to Tusky's every word?
Is it time that TM fell on her sword?
Does she ride a gold starred reindeer,
Do they turn down every way
are they keeping Juncker sober for the day.

So here it is merry brexit
everybody's taken sides.
Look at the future now
It's not so very glum.

Are you waiting for the migrants to arrive,
are we sure we've got the room in Merseyside.
Does your granny always tell you that Great Britain is the best
then she turns out for remaining like the rest.

So here it is merry brexit
Everybody's taken sides.
Look at the future now
It's not so very glum.

What will JR do now......
When he see Teresa kising Junckters arse
AH Ahh, ahhh...

Are you hanging on to Tusky's every word
are you hoping that the Euro starts to fall
Do you ride on EU's coat tails when the cock-ups have been made,
When we land on sunny uplands we'll be made...

So here it is merry brexit
Everybody's taken sides.
Look at the future now
It's really not so glum.

& repeat

* Apologies to Noddy.
** Apologies to Merseyside it just rhymed.

Anonymous said...

You've not read the NUJ Style Guide - it should be "Tommy Robinson, whose real name is Christopeher Yaxley-Lennon".

For some reason this was never applied to Robert Maxwell or Michael Howard.

Bill Quango MP said...

Nice one timbo.
Noddies all round.

Suff said...

Just Brilliant Bill