What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done?
Ran through fields of wheat?
Crashing the United Kingdom out of the European Union ?
Taken the UK into a Middle East war, for no real reason?
Sold the nation's entire reserves of gold on Ebay with no reserve bid?
Saying you spent all your time working on the dangerous dogs act. When the only dangerous dog you were seeing was the one your were having an extramarital affair with.
Replacing the most hated tax in the UK, the Rates, with an even more hated one?
Running up so much money on the nation's credit card you had to call the IMF to help pay it off.
I'd suggest having a PM tripping on acid all day long would be doing the country less harm than some of the other things they might be planning.
For me, in my leadership bid to become PM, I cannot really think of what the naughtiest thing I've ever done is.
There are quite a few. Which always surprises me as I'm usually so very good.
I was present when a sibling Monopoly game descended into gunfire.
I once piled up 100, 60x20 cardboard boxes. Having filled the cente ones with aerosols. And set them on fire. The Fire-brigade had to be caled to help put out all the trees that were burning.
I swapped all the house signs from people's gardens, walking home from school one day. People were furious.
I took part in the very first 'race around the M25' when the motorway opened. And almost, almost had a severe accident when it turned out the damn thing wasn't completed at all. And there were still traffic lights in use at the Abbotts Langely section.
But I suppose being asked to leave my boarding school for an undisclosed incident, that really wasn't that bad, must be the naughtiest. And amongst people I knew at school, that was a really minor incident, compared to what they were up too.
What was your "Naughtiest moment?"
5 comments:
Anon for a reason
Whilst under 18,
- hid a 4ft long gas cylinder under some lumber that was due to be burnt during the renovation of a rival school. It was found.
- got a copy of the anarchists cookbook on inter library loan (innocent times) made my own nitroglycerin. Not much but enough to know it worked. In a separate experiment set fire to a shed.
-Went through a phase of stealing books on compiler design from foyles.
- got pretty good at shooting bluetits at 80 yards with an air rifle.
... but disappointingly no drugs.
Again, school. We completely demolished an upright piano in the lunch break. It had been left outside the Woodwork shop for some loving restoration. The only part we couldn't destroy was the iron frame - we hid it under the low timber staging at the front of the classroom. Everything else was reduced to fragments no larger than an ivory key and scattered in the thick hedges around the adjoining rugby pitch.
I still feel guilty. Killing a musical instrument is a sin.
will limber up for confession on the Big One in a while ...
but on the low-level pyro front: during lunchbreaks a fellow pupil & I discovered an excellent Guy Fawkes trick. Find a street with a suitable system of drains (and plenty of pedestrians ...); carefully lower a lit firework (big banger is best) through a drain grille where you see a bed of autumn leaves beneath (rather than running water, natch); retire, & watch
with the right drain system, it goes off with an amplified boom (confined space etc), and smoke jets out all along the street at intervals from the drain grilles on either side
[I say 'low level pyro' because at university there was a chemist who started experimenting ... his explosions began to get so big, he needed to conduct them out in open countryside, and Plod started taking an interest (it was the IRA years). So, for his graduation special, he and some mates built a raft, borrowed a yacht, and went out into the Bay of Biscay for remote detonation at a safe distance. They claimed the French Air Force flew over to find out WTF. Well, I believed them]
Is it unusual to have partaken of weed, speed, acid, E and a bit of heroin? No coke for me (unlike Gove) - too working class for that.
I could write a blog about all the naughtiest things I've done - in fact I did, about six year's of material.
If everyone who dabbled with a bit of weed or coke was barred from the world of work ...
A pyromaniac myself. Many incidents. One including an upturned metal dustbin lid filled with gunpowder from all the dud fireworks I could find. It wouldn't ignite so, with one final match, I looked closer to see what was wrong...
WOOOOOF !
Eyebrows gone. Hair gone - back past ears, Art Garfunkel style. I turned to my brother, my face still smoking, "Do you think Mum'll notice ???"
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