Tuesday 23 July 2019

She's Leaving Home

With apologies to Paul McCartney ...

[four bars of plaintive harp music]

Wednesday morning at twelve o’clock, PMQs begin 
Goes through the motions, feels weak at the knees 
Then to the Palace to hand in her keys … 
She goes downstairs to the limo, clutching her handkerchief 
Dabbing her eyes like old Thatcher’s ghost 
Stepping outside, she is toast 

   She (I gave it most of my life
   Is leaving (sacrificed most of my life
   Town (I tried so hard to look smart all the time
   She’s leaving town after dicking around for so many years 

Boris snorts as he wanders round in his dressing gown 
Picks up the letter the courier brought 
Standing in triumph; another great snort 
He laughs loud, and cries to his mistress 
“Carrie, Phil Hammond’s gone! 
Why did he stymie May’s No-Deal plan? 
What can be done with the man?” 

   She (I had no thoughts of my own
   Is leaving (never a thought of my own
   Town (I struggled hard to learn all of my lines
   She’s leaving town after dicking around for so many years 

Friday morning at nine o’clock she is history 
Hawking some diaries excusing her crimes 
Meeting a man from the Sunday Times 

   She (what did I do that was wrong?
   Is hist’ry (I didn’t know it was wrong
   Now (nothing achieved to remember me by!
   Somehow her stuff, it was never enough in so many ways 
   She’s hist’ry now (bye bye



Timbo614 said...

Brilliant Nick, as a Beatles aficionado just brilliant.

and (sadly, cruelly?) to the point of course!

E-K said...

I'm glad you didn't choose A Day in the Life.

Got up
Got outa bed
Dragged a comb a-cross my head

Now for Boris, that would have just been too unbelievable.

(Nice post, Nick)

Raedwald said...


This surely must be the highpoint of May's legacy? I suspect it will last longer than her reputation.

Anonymous said...

What Timbo said.

"Meeting a man from the Sunday Times"


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Dominic Cummings appointed special adviser.

Bill Quango MP said...

Excellent ND.

Far better than she deserves.

Charlie said...


Let's have some more Beatles themed goodbye tunes for Treeza. I'll start:

Back In The EUSSR
Komm gib mir deine 80 billion
While My Core Vote Gently Weeps

dearieme said...

I loan her bigly.

I saw her crumbling there.

With hate from me to you.

We all lived in a yellow submarine.

Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged.

Nick Drew said...

Being For The Benefit Of Mr J ...