Friday 21 October 2011

Your favourite client.

My favourite client used to be the old pre-Burton days, Debenhams.
They used to have a silver server maid in black and whites and a butler for the board's tea room.

As a recruitment sales rep I was lucky to have a butler on the books.
When going to sign them up each month there was never much to discuss, first class sandwiches and tea from a large porcelin pot, and a 15% discount in the stores. All for about 5 mins work, that I could put on the times sheet as an hour. Very relaxing. I often wondered whether to tell the catering manager that the butler was also a transvestite who was a singer in local pubs. But, what they didn't know wouldn't hut them. Other favourite client was Wrangler VF jean corp, who gave tickets to San Fransisco and free jeans and probably The Albert Hall, where I had two tickets to virtually every event. I saw The Police there. And Siouxsie and the Banshees. And the Cure, Echo & his bunnies, Tears for fears, Ultravox, Depeche Mode and countless other post punk/new wave bands + the boxing...Ahh...good days.

But compared to other friends, that's pretty slim pickings.

A friend had just two clients. - Sony {in the days when the playstation 1 was just launched} and The Premier League. He was doing sales for a costume mascot company.
- A meeting each week with one of the premiership clubs, on match-day, in the directors box, and access to all the associated sponsorship brands that came with it.
I saw the poor chap a few years ago {now a full partner} and he still has Premier League as a client. but the poor soul's workload has been increased to include ESPN, the Championship, the NFL, AFC, NHL, NASCAR and most athletics, including Olympics..
"Off to Denver to see the Broncos, this weekend, then to Miami for the Dolphins game."
"Don't you miss the children?
"Not really..in the holidays family comes with. I have some contacts and clients at Disney, so they stay there for free."

{obviously if you don't like sport or videogames then it might not seem such a big deal. But it is damn impressive and in its day it was the equivalent of having clients of Apple, F1 and Lady Gaga.}

Anyone top that?

19 comments:

Timbo614 said...

In the past I clocked up 100,000 frequent flyer points on tickets the airline itself was paying for as expenses... :)

Then there was the very grateful accounts dept that said to me "You are charging us double time for all these weekends hours". That was in the days I only had to work two days a week to support my family of 6 if I was just a little frugal!

Best I can offer I'm afraid. Not a touch on free Disneyland :(

Electro-Kevin said...

Nope. Nothing on that.

I used to get free 1st class travel on Eurostar if that counts.

Nick Drew said...

this is all very exotic, BQ

I can only report tickets to various sporting fixtures

and some really handy loyalty-points obtained when I was required to live for nearly 4 months in a hotel (tough gig but someone had to do it): Mrs D and I have had 3 weekend breaks on the proceeds of that

I keep hoping for free electricity...

dearieme said...

My employer used to give me a free diary every year.

lilith said...

Nothing like that to report, although my cousin's husband is head of NZRU so by rights I should have had top seats at Twickenham for years. Never asked him though and he's probably a bit busy this weekend.

Bill Quango MP said...

I don't believe you all. You're keeping things back from the Taxman.

I know a banker who goes to the 'Air guitar' awards in Helsinki.

Sebastian Weetabix said...

Well, I do get to see some nice sweatshops - er, factories - in Shenzhen. But I did get to sit in an executive box for about 20 internationals at Twickenham over the years. Great, except for having to sit through "Swing Low". That's worse than Flower of Scotland, listening to a bunch of pissed up Hooray Henrys braying.

The funniest was in about 1989(?) when Dewi Morris made his debut for England against Australia. A gentlemen near me with an impeccable cut glass accent kept shouting "come on Dewey!" (as in dew) rather than the proper Welsh "Dowie". A seriously angry Welshman - properly puce - turned round and shouted "IT'S DOWIE YOU ENGLISH BASTARD!!!!" Cut glass man smiled and bellowed back "WELL HE'S ENGLISH NOW, SO IT'S DEWEY"

hovis said...

This years it's been identikit chain hotels in Africa - Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, it seems the Africans are the only ones left with any money to buy our software...

Anonymous said...

Back in the 70s, when I worked in Finsbury Square, we used to get a free turkey every Christmas straight from from our paternalistic employer's Norfolk farm.

Not my perk directly, but a girlfriend was sent by her work to New York for a few months. She could get a free flight home every three months or have someone flown out. So I got a long weekend there via Virgin Airways upper class. (Unbelievably, the verification word is her name...)

Anonymous said...

coincidentally, I knew a girl called 'glignoft', too

Electro-Kevin said...

Anon - that reminds me. As coppers we used to get some freebies. Mainly cafe's and DFOB (discount for Old Bill - Curry's, clothing shops etc)

Smithfield's market used to give out turkeys to the cops at Christmas before I joined but my Dad (an ex cop) remembers it well.

So do I.

Him turning up at 2am on Christmas morning pissed out of his head. My mum furious.

The newly gifted turkey with a car tyre track across its back and he with it's foot in his mouth and body under his arm pretending to play bagpipes (The Gay Gordons if I recall)

Anonymous said...

@Anon 3:57 v good :-)

Sally is her name.

Phil

Anonymous said...

@Electro-Kevin I worked with a stalwart Lancastrian who went to a Flying Squad Christmas do. He said that apart from the epic scale of the boozing it was memorable for the the entertainment laid on by the Obscene Publication squad, who were projecting porn films they'd confiscated.

Phil

Anonymous said...

@Electro-Kevin - I meant to say, great story about your Dad ! (He wasn't in the Flying Squad I suppose ?)

Phil

Moppy said...

Got to most of one years British touring car championship races, apart from that some wonderful trips to Belfast and free mobile phones....

Somebody's Accountant said...

Would a fistful of unsigned $US100 Travellers Cheques plus a four-figure Rolex from a grateful Arab gentleman count on this forum for tax evaders?

CityUnslicker said...

I gte remarkably little given, but have a budget to spend so my clients get to go to Wembley quite frequently.

Bill Quango MP said...

I'm shocked by austerity Britain.
Looks like everyone's freebies died out in the nineties.

Except for the Rolex king.

bigsands said...

We have some clients like that, but they still haggle on the phone.